A 52-Hertz Whale by Bill Sommer Page A

miss anything b/c 4got bout PT appt. Apparently, ppl w/ JA don’t have social lives. I c dr. > I c bestie.
    Srry bout ur dad. Rmr how he let us stay up L8 @ camp & eat marshmallows? Gud man.
    Life sux.
    C U,
    Sara
    P.S. Found right color foundation 2 cover rash frm l8est flare. :)
    From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: November 17, 2012 at 4:31 PM
Subject: Party
    Dear Darren,
    Craziness is happening here. I have to type fast because I’m using Chin Piercing’s computer while he’s on break. Anyway, like an hour ago, Coxson, Sam, and the rest of the soccer guys walked toward me from the arcade parking lot. Here’s how it went down:
    Coxson: “What’s shaking, Snowdude?”
    (My throat started tightening the way it does at school whenever I see him. The noise that came out resembled a snort, I guess.)
    Coxson: “What the hell was that?”
    (I could tell that he was choosing from his vast stores of insults for the best way to make fun of me. The thing is that, as the Abominable Snowman, I am actually taller than Coxson. And somehow—don’t ask me how—that helped me conjure up the following response.)
    Me: “A huge hairball.”
    Coxson: “Funny. You’re funny, Snowdude.”
    To make a long story short, for the next fifteen minutes, I told the guys some of my yeti jokes. And then we tried to see who can do the best Chewbacca (thanks to YouTube I now know who he is). Sam’s impersonation was ridiculously high-pitched and Charlie said he sounded like a girl. My Chewbacca was the best, at least according to Charlie. He fist-bumped me and invited me to Smith’s party right after my shift.
    I think Sam was trying to redeem himself after the Chewbacca fail because he went, “But the invite only stands if you wear the Snowdude duds.”
    To which I replied, “What else would I wear?”
    All of this to say that in approximately forty-eight minutes, I am going to my first ever high school party dressed as an Abominable Snowman.
    Sincerely,
    James Turner
    From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: November 17, 2012 at 5:05 PM
Subject: RE: Party
    Dear James,
    I should complete my LinkedIn profile. But before I do, I want to check in on your going as Snowdude to this party. I’m glad you feel comfortable talking to people when you wear it. Whatever works. Remember, though, it will be a lot hotter inside someone’s house than standing outside in November. Wear deodorant. Lots of it. It’d be a shame to get ostracized from a party simply because you’re covered in your own funk. It’d be even more of a shame if your name lent itself nicely to a little nickname, say BODO—short for Body Odor Darren Olmstead, for example—that ended up sticking with you for like a year after the infamous party at which you stunk up the joint because you’d timed your workout for just before the party so you’d still be a little swole when you got there and the girls would be like “daaaaaaayummm,” but then you lost track of time and next thing you knew your ride was in the driveway honking the horn and you decided “what the hey” and just went to the party sans showering.
    Good luck!
    Baron Von Darren
    From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: November 18, 2012 at 4:00 PM
Subject: Thank You
    Dear Coach O,
    I just wanted to thank you for all you did for Michael this season, and particularly for the play at the end of the game. I don’t know if Michael can appreciate it right now, especially with all the other stuff he’s dealing with at the moment, but some day he will be very grateful to you for giving him the opportunity.
    Sincerely,
    Harriet Jenkins
    From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: November 19, 2012 at 3:45 AM
Subject: RE: Thank You
    Hello Harriet,
    Thanks for the kind words. It was a