really do anything, Ginger. He was just sweet and nice. Maybe too sweet and nice. I don’t know why they made him leave, but boy howdy, I wasn’t surprised when I found out Robert Holden was the new pastor.” Mama sighed. “I was so stupid and naive. At thirty-seven to boot. I was thinkingI’d like to be saved, give Jesus a chance to straighten me out. Maybe He’d be able to lend you a hand too.”
“Well, falling in love with a married preacher isn’t the way to get straightened out. Did he say he loved you?”
“No, never.” Mama’s eyes swam as she rolled her gaze toward the popcorn ceiling. “But he showed signs of being interested. I thought he might have feelings for me.”
“Mama, he was married .”
“Ginger, for crying out loud, I know.” Mama slammed her glass down on the counter. “You think I wanted to fall in love with an unavailable man? Even if he became available, there’d be scandal and gossip, but I was . . .”
“Hoping?”
“Yes,” she glared down at Ginger. “And what of it? Don’t I have the right to a good man? One who cares, listens, understands?”
“Not when he’s married to another woman. How did I not know about this? How was it not all over school? One of the most popular boys, a football star, upped and disappeared at the beginning of his senior year and no one came at me?”
“I agreed to keep quiet if they agreed to keep my name out of it for your sake. Everyone seemed more twisted up about Tom Senior and what was going on in his life than about me. I’m sure Janelle was all ready to blab if Tom didn’t step down and leave. She didn’t care about me. She cared about getting Tom out and her husband in.”
“Then he must have had feelings for you. I mean, to leave the way he did.”
“I don’t know. We never spoke again. But I heard therewere other issues with the church, with his wife, and I was the icing on the cake.” Mama shrugged, swirling her tea, the ice clinking against the sides. “Who knows what’s really true?”
“So that’s why we never went to church again?”
“I figured they’d brand me with a scarlet A or something.” She shook her head. “And I was pretty sure God didn’t want to see the woman who caused His man to resign his church.”
“Were you at least sorry?”
“Sorry? I was confused. And poor Tom. It seemed like such a brouhaha over something so one-sided.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? You knew how upset I was by Tom Junior disappearing without a word.”
“Because I felt so foolish.” She returned to the table, shoving her plate forward, cupping her tea in her hands. “I’d lost my friend Tom and my women’s group. I didn’t need you loathing me any more than you already did.”
“I didn’t loathe you.”
“Yeah, whatever . . . So, now you know.” Mama popped the table with her palm. “Aren’t you proud? Oh, who am I kidding? It’s just more of the same. Where was I the night of the fire? Where was I half your teen years?”
“Can we not rehash this?” Ginger spent most of her teen years and twenties forgetting the past. Trying to build a future with her handicaps.
“I suppose not. You don’t need further proof I failed you.”
“Mama.” Sigh . “You didn’t fail me.” Ginger wanted her confession to at least sound true even if she didn’t believe it. Not entirely.
“Look at you, all scarred on your arm and side, across your back and that sloppy skin graft on your neck. That’s what government-funded medical care will get you. And you have a sexy figure. But can you show it off? Wear a nice bikini down to the lake? No—”
“Mama, stop. I don’t need an inventory. I see myself every morning in the shower. Can we talk about something else? How’s your Moo Goo?”
“Cold.” Mama picked up her plate for the microwave. “What’s going on with you and Tom Junior?”
“Nothing.” A low warmth crept across Ginger’s cheeks. At least she had the treasure and memory of his
“Well, falling in love with a married preacher isn’t the way to get straightened out. Did he say he loved you?”
“No, never.” Mama’s eyes swam as she rolled her gaze toward the popcorn ceiling. “But he showed signs of being interested. I thought he might have feelings for me.”
“Mama, he was married .”
“Ginger, for crying out loud, I know.” Mama slammed her glass down on the counter. “You think I wanted to fall in love with an unavailable man? Even if he became available, there’d be scandal and gossip, but I was . . .”
“Hoping?”
“Yes,” she glared down at Ginger. “And what of it? Don’t I have the right to a good man? One who cares, listens, understands?”
“Not when he’s married to another woman. How did I not know about this? How was it not all over school? One of the most popular boys, a football star, upped and disappeared at the beginning of his senior year and no one came at me?”
“I agreed to keep quiet if they agreed to keep my name out of it for your sake. Everyone seemed more twisted up about Tom Senior and what was going on in his life than about me. I’m sure Janelle was all ready to blab if Tom didn’t step down and leave. She didn’t care about me. She cared about getting Tom out and her husband in.”
“Then he must have had feelings for you. I mean, to leave the way he did.”
“I don’t know. We never spoke again. But I heard therewere other issues with the church, with his wife, and I was the icing on the cake.” Mama shrugged, swirling her tea, the ice clinking against the sides. “Who knows what’s really true?”
“So that’s why we never went to church again?”
“I figured they’d brand me with a scarlet A or something.” She shook her head. “And I was pretty sure God didn’t want to see the woman who caused His man to resign his church.”
“Were you at least sorry?”
“Sorry? I was confused. And poor Tom. It seemed like such a brouhaha over something so one-sided.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? You knew how upset I was by Tom Junior disappearing without a word.”
“Because I felt so foolish.” She returned to the table, shoving her plate forward, cupping her tea in her hands. “I’d lost my friend Tom and my women’s group. I didn’t need you loathing me any more than you already did.”
“I didn’t loathe you.”
“Yeah, whatever . . . So, now you know.” Mama popped the table with her palm. “Aren’t you proud? Oh, who am I kidding? It’s just more of the same. Where was I the night of the fire? Where was I half your teen years?”
“Can we not rehash this?” Ginger spent most of her teen years and twenties forgetting the past. Trying to build a future with her handicaps.
“I suppose not. You don’t need further proof I failed you.”
“Mama.” Sigh . “You didn’t fail me.” Ginger wanted her confession to at least sound true even if she didn’t believe it. Not entirely.
“Look at you, all scarred on your arm and side, across your back and that sloppy skin graft on your neck. That’s what government-funded medical care will get you. And you have a sexy figure. But can you show it off? Wear a nice bikini down to the lake? No—”
“Mama, stop. I don’t need an inventory. I see myself every morning in the shower. Can we talk about something else? How’s your Moo Goo?”
“Cold.” Mama picked up her plate for the microwave. “What’s going on with you and Tom Junior?”
“Nothing.” A low warmth crept across Ginger’s cheeks. At least she had the treasure and memory of his
Similar Books
