happening when I could. Like I said, it doesn ’ t happen that often. ” We ’ re standing in the foyer, and I ’ m staring at her.
“ What? ” she asks.
“ I don ’ t
know what to make of you. ”
“ What does that mean? ” she laughs.
“ I mean …” I have to be careful of what I say here. I don ’ t want to cross the lines of our professional relationship
any more than I already have. “ I guess I ’ m just surprised. I ’ m not used to workers going out of their way for the kids
in their caseloads. ”
“ That ’ s sad, ” she says, the corners of her mouth turning down. “ I think there are a lot of us, though. It ’ s just hard because of the things we
see. I ’ m
not saying there aren ’ t plenty of bad ones out there—I know
there are— but
sometimes it ’ s
easier to close yourself off emotionally than to try and make sense of what
these kids go through. I happen to be able to handle a lot more than most. ”
She
stares directly into my eyes when she says this and I have to wonder if there ’ s another meaning to her words. But I
can ’ t
think about that, because it doesn ’ t matter. I can ’ t go there with her, no matter how much I may be tempted.
“ So, do you think I might be able to
help Matty? ” I ask.
“ We can try. I ’ ll talk to him about it. ”
I
nod and open the front door. “ Okay. I guess I ’ ll see you later, ” I whisper as she passes by me. “ Thanks. ”
“ You ’ re
welcome. Good night, Dean. ”
I
watch her walk down the steps and onto the gravel. I ’ m still standing there, in the cold,
when she gets into her car and waves. I stay there until I can ’ t see her taillights anymore. Finally,
I step back inside and close the door, letting out a puff of air.
“ Good night, Kayla. ”
Chapter
10
Kayla
Once again, I find myself leaving Wyatt House completely
confused. Whatever the dynamic is between Dean and me, it ’ s extremely frustrating.
There ’ s a sweet guy underneath all those layers of asshole. There
has to be. Not many foster parents are up for what these boys have already
brought to the table.
On
my way back home, I can ’ t get the image of Dean ’ s tats out of my head. The black-and-red
scorpion on his left forearm, in all its magnificent detail — tail curled up, ready to strike. His other arm completely
covered —at least everywhere I could see— with vivid colors disappearing
underneath the fabric of his shirt. I think about my move to uncover his whole
arm and his sudden and desperate attempt to stop me. I can feel my cheeks heat
in delayed embarrassment. I shouldn ’ t have pushed it. He was right to stop me. There ’ s just something about a hot guy covered in ink that does
things to me. Things I ’ d rather not admit to anyone.
First
thing on Monday morning, I get a call from one of my foster parents just
outside of Duluth asking me to come up for a meeting with his school. I have
kids placed all over the state and I have to travel to see them every month. I ’ ve already seen this kid, but that doesn ’ t really matter. When a guardian is requested, I have to
go.
“ I can go to Wyatt House for you. ” Sara smiles. She ’ s on call, but she ’ s meant to take care of emergencies. Preparing Logan for
the real world is not considered an emergency.
“ No, you can ’ t, ” I snap. I ’ m agitated. I ’ ve barely unpacked my things, and now I have to pack them
all back up again.
“ Sure I can. Give me your notes. I ’ ll follow them word-for-word. ” I glare at Sara. “ Or
not, ” she laughs. “ I just thought maybe you ’ d like a break from Wyatt House since
you ’ ve
been there three times in the last week. ”
I put my thumbnail into my mouth, finally looking
up at my friend. The look in her eyes tells me she’s suspicious.
“What’s going on?”
“ Nothing, ” I say too quickly. “ I
just don ’ t want to drive all the way to Duluth
again. It ’ s an entire day.
“ What? ” she asks.
“ I don ’ t
know what to make of you. ”
“ What does that mean? ” she laughs.
“ I mean …” I have to be careful of what I say here. I don ’ t want to cross the lines of our professional relationship
any more than I already have. “ I guess I ’ m just surprised. I ’ m not used to workers going out of their way for the kids
in their caseloads. ”
“ That ’ s sad, ” she says, the corners of her mouth turning down. “ I think there are a lot of us, though. It ’ s just hard because of the things we
see. I ’ m
not saying there aren ’ t plenty of bad ones out there—I know
there are— but
sometimes it ’ s
easier to close yourself off emotionally than to try and make sense of what
these kids go through. I happen to be able to handle a lot more than most. ”
She
stares directly into my eyes when she says this and I have to wonder if there ’ s another meaning to her words. But I
can ’ t
think about that, because it doesn ’ t matter. I can ’ t go there with her, no matter how much I may be tempted.
“ So, do you think I might be able to
help Matty? ” I ask.
“ We can try. I ’ ll talk to him about it. ”
I
nod and open the front door. “ Okay. I guess I ’ ll see you later, ” I whisper as she passes by me. “ Thanks. ”
“ You ’ re
welcome. Good night, Dean. ”
I
watch her walk down the steps and onto the gravel. I ’ m still standing there, in the cold,
when she gets into her car and waves. I stay there until I can ’ t see her taillights anymore. Finally,
I step back inside and close the door, letting out a puff of air.
“ Good night, Kayla. ”
Chapter
10
Kayla
Once again, I find myself leaving Wyatt House completely
confused. Whatever the dynamic is between Dean and me, it ’ s extremely frustrating.
There ’ s a sweet guy underneath all those layers of asshole. There
has to be. Not many foster parents are up for what these boys have already
brought to the table.
On
my way back home, I can ’ t get the image of Dean ’ s tats out of my head. The black-and-red
scorpion on his left forearm, in all its magnificent detail — tail curled up, ready to strike. His other arm completely
covered —at least everywhere I could see— with vivid colors disappearing
underneath the fabric of his shirt. I think about my move to uncover his whole
arm and his sudden and desperate attempt to stop me. I can feel my cheeks heat
in delayed embarrassment. I shouldn ’ t have pushed it. He was right to stop me. There ’ s just something about a hot guy covered in ink that does
things to me. Things I ’ d rather not admit to anyone.
First
thing on Monday morning, I get a call from one of my foster parents just
outside of Duluth asking me to come up for a meeting with his school. I have
kids placed all over the state and I have to travel to see them every month. I ’ ve already seen this kid, but that doesn ’ t really matter. When a guardian is requested, I have to
go.
“ I can go to Wyatt House for you. ” Sara smiles. She ’ s on call, but she ’ s meant to take care of emergencies. Preparing Logan for
the real world is not considered an emergency.
“ No, you can ’ t, ” I snap. I ’ m agitated. I ’ ve barely unpacked my things, and now I have to pack them
all back up again.
“ Sure I can. Give me your notes. I ’ ll follow them word-for-word. ” I glare at Sara. “ Or
not, ” she laughs. “ I just thought maybe you ’ d like a break from Wyatt House since
you ’ ve
been there three times in the last week. ”
I put my thumbnail into my mouth, finally looking
up at my friend. The look in her eyes tells me she’s suspicious.
“What’s going on?”
“ Nothing, ” I say too quickly. “ I
just don ’ t want to drive all the way to Duluth
again. It ’ s an entire day.
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