shrubbery on the end was trembling. Squinting, I peered through the camouflage glamour to see the bagman-goblin trying very hard to hold perfectly still, his narrow chest heaving with exertion.
So lazy hobgoblins could get out of shape. Who knew? I tackled him before he could run again.
“Oof!” Lying on his back, he raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay! I give.” He batted his beady, lashless eyes at me. “We were just having fun.”
“I know.” I plucked a crumpled wad of twenties from his clutches. “And I’m just doing my job.”
“Spoilsport,” the hobgoblin grumbled.
“Uh-huh.” I sorted through the bills, separating the real ones from the fairy gold counterfeits.
“We’ll give you half our take,” he said in a wheedling voice.
“No can do.” I dropped the false twenties on his chest, where they turned to dry, brittle oak leaves. “And I’d like my sunglasses back.”
“Yeah?” The hobgoblin smirked. “Good luck with that.”
I got off him and stood, patting my messenger bag. “You know, I could have drawn steel on you and I didn’t.”
A hint of fear crossed his face. “You wouldn’t. Not for this.”
“Don’t push me,” I said sternly. “You know you’re not supposed to break mundane laws. Do you want me to report you to Hel?”
“Over a pair of cheap dollar-store sunglasses I didn’t even take?” Now the hobgoblin sounded incredulous.
“No, you nitwit. For defrauding tourists. What’s your name?” I asked him. He didn’t answer. Reaching into my bag, I unsheathed a few inches of dauda-dagr , enough to let him see the hilt. “On pain of cold steel, what’s your name?”
Although they’ve developed a higher tolerance in the last few centuries, most of the fey retain an aversion to iron and its alloys. They can be around it, but they can’t bear its touch. “Tuggle,” the hobgoblin said sullenly. “Name’s Tuggle. You really going to tell her?”
There was no way in, well, hell, that I was going to bother the Norse goddess of the dead by reporting on a relatively harmless hobgoblin scam—and Hel has her own ways of keeping tabs on what’s going on aboveground in the mundane world—but Tuggle didn’t know that. I thought about forcing him to rat out his accomplices and decided against it. I was here to keep order, not make enemies. “We’ll see,” I said to him, easing dauda-dagr back into its hidden sheath. “Tell the others to consider this a warning. And I really would like those sunglasses back.”
Tuggle shrugged. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thanks, Tuggle.” I gave him a hand up, which he accepted. “No hard feelings?”
He shrugged again. “Eh.”
“Hey, lady!” a concerned voice behind me called. “You okay?”
I turned around. “Fine. Why?”
It was a teenaged kid, maybe sixteen or seventeen, out wandering the town with his girlfriend. They were doing that thing where they had their arms wrapped around each other’s waists and their hands in each other’s back pockets. All the cool couples in high school used to stroll the halls that way. Of course, Jen and I had made fun of them, but secretly I was always a little envious of them. I’m pretty sure Jen was, too.
“It’s just that you’ve been talking to that bush for a while,” the kid said in an apologetic tone.
His girlfriend blinked. “Wait a minute. What bush?”
Apparently, Tuggle the hobgoblin was skilled at maintaining a glamour and had a knack for timing a getaway. Glancing behind me, I saw he’d made his escape, probably shifting back to his freckle-faced-kid guise when no one was looking.
Oh, well. At least I’d made my point.
“Welcome to Pemkowet,” I said to the teenagers. “Where weird shit happens.”
Ten
I backtracked along the dock to see about refunding the actual money to the hobgoblins’ marks, but the crowd had already dispersed. Unless the marks had checked their wallets, they probably didn’t realize they’d been ripped
So lazy hobgoblins could get out of shape. Who knew? I tackled him before he could run again.
“Oof!” Lying on his back, he raised his hands in surrender. “Okay, okay! I give.” He batted his beady, lashless eyes at me. “We were just having fun.”
“I know.” I plucked a crumpled wad of twenties from his clutches. “And I’m just doing my job.”
“Spoilsport,” the hobgoblin grumbled.
“Uh-huh.” I sorted through the bills, separating the real ones from the fairy gold counterfeits.
“We’ll give you half our take,” he said in a wheedling voice.
“No can do.” I dropped the false twenties on his chest, where they turned to dry, brittle oak leaves. “And I’d like my sunglasses back.”
“Yeah?” The hobgoblin smirked. “Good luck with that.”
I got off him and stood, patting my messenger bag. “You know, I could have drawn steel on you and I didn’t.”
A hint of fear crossed his face. “You wouldn’t. Not for this.”
“Don’t push me,” I said sternly. “You know you’re not supposed to break mundane laws. Do you want me to report you to Hel?”
“Over a pair of cheap dollar-store sunglasses I didn’t even take?” Now the hobgoblin sounded incredulous.
“No, you nitwit. For defrauding tourists. What’s your name?” I asked him. He didn’t answer. Reaching into my bag, I unsheathed a few inches of dauda-dagr , enough to let him see the hilt. “On pain of cold steel, what’s your name?”
Although they’ve developed a higher tolerance in the last few centuries, most of the fey retain an aversion to iron and its alloys. They can be around it, but they can’t bear its touch. “Tuggle,” the hobgoblin said sullenly. “Name’s Tuggle. You really going to tell her?”
There was no way in, well, hell, that I was going to bother the Norse goddess of the dead by reporting on a relatively harmless hobgoblin scam—and Hel has her own ways of keeping tabs on what’s going on aboveground in the mundane world—but Tuggle didn’t know that. I thought about forcing him to rat out his accomplices and decided against it. I was here to keep order, not make enemies. “We’ll see,” I said to him, easing dauda-dagr back into its hidden sheath. “Tell the others to consider this a warning. And I really would like those sunglasses back.”
Tuggle shrugged. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thanks, Tuggle.” I gave him a hand up, which he accepted. “No hard feelings?”
He shrugged again. “Eh.”
“Hey, lady!” a concerned voice behind me called. “You okay?”
I turned around. “Fine. Why?”
It was a teenaged kid, maybe sixteen or seventeen, out wandering the town with his girlfriend. They were doing that thing where they had their arms wrapped around each other’s waists and their hands in each other’s back pockets. All the cool couples in high school used to stroll the halls that way. Of course, Jen and I had made fun of them, but secretly I was always a little envious of them. I’m pretty sure Jen was, too.
“It’s just that you’ve been talking to that bush for a while,” the kid said in an apologetic tone.
His girlfriend blinked. “Wait a minute. What bush?”
Apparently, Tuggle the hobgoblin was skilled at maintaining a glamour and had a knack for timing a getaway. Glancing behind me, I saw he’d made his escape, probably shifting back to his freckle-faced-kid guise when no one was looking.
Oh, well. At least I’d made my point.
“Welcome to Pemkowet,” I said to the teenagers. “Where weird shit happens.”
Ten
I backtracked along the dock to see about refunding the actual money to the hobgoblins’ marks, but the crowd had already dispersed. Unless the marks had checked their wallets, they probably didn’t realize they’d been ripped
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