emotions take over again. I could have lost him. My tears start as I can’t get the picture of him in ICU having just been shot out of my head.
I can tell he feels my tears as he tries to look down at me and asks, “Sweetheart, why are you crying?”
I shake my head and try to get a handle on it mumbling, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to take care of you. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
His arm flexes around me and I feel his lips come to my head and he says, “Stop crying. You’re here now, it’s all that matters. It’s a new year, gem. I can’t think of any other way I’d rather start it off than having you here with me.”
I nod into his shoulder and let my body relax further into his. I don’t get to see the ball drop. I drift off into dreamless sleep for the first time in two weeks.
*****
I click off the TV and toss the remote to the other side of the bed. Doing my best to scoot us down without waking Leigh or hurting my gut isn’t easy, but I finally get us settled. I wipe her tear streaked face, smell her hair and feel her in my arms again pressed up next to me. It’s better than it’s ever been because she’s in my bed tonight where I plan on keeping her.
The last two weeks have been my own brand of nightmare. Getting shot was a definite low, but having the women in my life, in my life, and not just on a daily basis, but what seemed to be an hourly basis, has been a living hell. My mother, my aunts, my sisters and my cousins have all been cleaning and cooking up a storm driving me insane. They would have driven me insane anyway, but all I wanted was to have Leigh here and that made it worse. It’s been a long two weeks and I hope she was serious when she promised not to leave me again because I’m holding her to it.
I hated being demanding and hard on her tonight, but we weren’t making any progress. I needed her to open up somehow. It was a measured risk but it worked. And getting her to come to me was even better.
But what she told me about her child and how she blames herself keeps ringing in my brain. It kills me this has been in her head all along, ravaging her thoughts, both coherent and incoherent. I have no idea how to get her to stop blaming herself for what that fuckwad did, but even if I have to take it day by day, I’ll get that wiped from her head, too. And the minute she’s mine, I’ll work hard at giving her the baby she wants. My baby.
That thought makes me smile. I roll into her hitching her knee over my hip and slide my thigh up tight in between her legs the way we’ve become used to sleeping. I feel her tuck in close in her sleep and hear her sigh as her breathing evens out again.
Yeah, I can’t wait until she’s pregnant with my baby.
Chapter 7 - It’s Done
I sign the last paper.
I sigh.
It’s done.
Four years of misery. Four years of hurt. Four years of being scared of what could come next, ending in the worst heartache imaginable. I don’t know what my future holds and it’s still scary, but in a different way. I look up at Tony who’s pulling the paperwork together and sliding it into a folder containing the end of my marriage.
Oh, and the paper work changing my last name back to Johnson.
Honestly.
It’s not like I have fond memories of that last name, either, but oh well. Now I’m making a mental checklist of everywhere I have to go to have my name changed. Social Security, driver’s license, paperwork at my job, insurance, banking…even magazines. The list goes on. I guess I’ll think about it tomorrow.
Tony reaches out and grabs the back of my head, pulling me to him for a kiss. This one, soft and sweet. Leaning back just enough he says, “All done. You’re free, in more ways than one.”
I let out a breath and give him a small smile because he’s right. I am free in more ways than one. Free from Preston, free from his abuse
I can tell he feels my tears as he tries to look down at me and asks, “Sweetheart, why are you crying?”
I shake my head and try to get a handle on it mumbling, “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to take care of you. I thought I was doing the right thing.”
His arm flexes around me and I feel his lips come to my head and he says, “Stop crying. You’re here now, it’s all that matters. It’s a new year, gem. I can’t think of any other way I’d rather start it off than having you here with me.”
I nod into his shoulder and let my body relax further into his. I don’t get to see the ball drop. I drift off into dreamless sleep for the first time in two weeks.
*****
I click off the TV and toss the remote to the other side of the bed. Doing my best to scoot us down without waking Leigh or hurting my gut isn’t easy, but I finally get us settled. I wipe her tear streaked face, smell her hair and feel her in my arms again pressed up next to me. It’s better than it’s ever been because she’s in my bed tonight where I plan on keeping her.
The last two weeks have been my own brand of nightmare. Getting shot was a definite low, but having the women in my life, in my life, and not just on a daily basis, but what seemed to be an hourly basis, has been a living hell. My mother, my aunts, my sisters and my cousins have all been cleaning and cooking up a storm driving me insane. They would have driven me insane anyway, but all I wanted was to have Leigh here and that made it worse. It’s been a long two weeks and I hope she was serious when she promised not to leave me again because I’m holding her to it.
I hated being demanding and hard on her tonight, but we weren’t making any progress. I needed her to open up somehow. It was a measured risk but it worked. And getting her to come to me was even better.
But what she told me about her child and how she blames herself keeps ringing in my brain. It kills me this has been in her head all along, ravaging her thoughts, both coherent and incoherent. I have no idea how to get her to stop blaming herself for what that fuckwad did, but even if I have to take it day by day, I’ll get that wiped from her head, too. And the minute she’s mine, I’ll work hard at giving her the baby she wants. My baby.
That thought makes me smile. I roll into her hitching her knee over my hip and slide my thigh up tight in between her legs the way we’ve become used to sleeping. I feel her tuck in close in her sleep and hear her sigh as her breathing evens out again.
Yeah, I can’t wait until she’s pregnant with my baby.
Chapter 7 - It’s Done
I sign the last paper.
I sigh.
It’s done.
Four years of misery. Four years of hurt. Four years of being scared of what could come next, ending in the worst heartache imaginable. I don’t know what my future holds and it’s still scary, but in a different way. I look up at Tony who’s pulling the paperwork together and sliding it into a folder containing the end of my marriage.
Oh, and the paper work changing my last name back to Johnson.
Honestly.
It’s not like I have fond memories of that last name, either, but oh well. Now I’m making a mental checklist of everywhere I have to go to have my name changed. Social Security, driver’s license, paperwork at my job, insurance, banking…even magazines. The list goes on. I guess I’ll think about it tomorrow.
Tony reaches out and grabs the back of my head, pulling me to him for a kiss. This one, soft and sweet. Leaning back just enough he says, “All done. You’re free, in more ways than one.”
I let out a breath and give him a small smile because he’s right. I am free in more ways than one. Free from Preston, free from his abuse
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