feminine is believing you can seduce any man in any room at any time. Even if you don’t, you have to believe you can.”
“Only sometimes?”
Alice shrugged.
This is important, Cass wanted to yell. My head isn’t that hard to get through! Instead, she waited, breath held, for Alice to continue.
“Sometimes, it’s the way you feel when you hold your baby. Or when another woman says you look nice. Sometimes, it’s a simple as believing in yourself and the rest follows naturally. I know you don’t want to hear this, but Burke was right to tell you you’d know it when you see it. You’ll know it when you feel it.”
That’s it? “But I can’t feel it. Why else do you think I’m doing all this?” The frustration made Cass want to hit something. Or kick something. Neither the little girl in the stroller or the woman with the belly were acceptable targets, meaning she had to buck up and deal. Alice nibbled her candy, watching while Cass tried to fit this new information in with the other confusing pieces.
They stood looking at each other for a while, silent while the mall hummed around them. People walked this way and that, moving from store to store as if something important weren’t happening in front of them. For Cass, the only thing clicking was resentment.
“You’re like everyone else, aren’t you? You think I’m doing this because of Luke. Like I want him back or something.”
“Truthfully?”
“Yeah, truthfully.”
“I think you’re doing it for Burke.”
Cass laughed, but it felt almost as hollow as it sounded. “Burke is the last person who wants me to change. If you heard some of our arguments…” She laughed again, which didn’t make any sense because she had the strangest urge to cry. “I’m doing this for me , Alice. If Burke had his way, I’d be Little Miss Mud Pie forever.”
Though Alice’s eyes gleamed, she nodded her head. “That’s a big first step, Cass. Makes me think you might pull this off.”
“Because I’m not doing it for Burke?”
“Because you should never change for anyone else.”
Cass’s smile came easier this time.
Alice gestured for them to continue walking when Reva’s mad rocking of the stroller finally got her attention. “I still think you should set your sights on someone. Like target practice. It might help.”
She imagined walking into a roomful of men with her father’s old rifle. “Oh sure, that’ll work. What am I supposed to do if I catch him?”
Alice’s mischievous eyebrow wiggling set them both off on a rail of giggling.
“I’m serious! The last thing I need is another man in my life. I’ve got plenty, thanks.”
“No one said you have to keep them. You walk into a room like you own every single man you see. Even the married ones.” Alice stopped walking, putting a hand on Cass’s sleeve to make her look. “Lift your chin. Roll your shoulders back. Look down at them. Never let them think you’re happy to see any of them. Look at a man once, never look back unless he comes to you .”
Cass stared, wide-eyed. Right in front of her, Alice had gone from mini-van mom to runway model. Her eyes had gone smoky and half-lidded, a blank expression of disinterest smoothing her features. Without so much as a flip of her ponytail or a fluff of her a-line kerchief blouse, she’d changed into someone Cass wouldn’t have recognized. A blink later it was gone and Alice’s impish grin was back. “See?”
“How did you do that?”
“Easy. I believed there wasn’t a man in this mall who wouldn’t think I’m sexy.” She patted her belly. “You’d be surprised how many guys think pregnancy is hot. You can do it. Just believe in yourself a little.”
“Believe.” Cass tried to picture it as she walked. When she walked into rooms, no one noticed but Burke and usually only because he was waiting for her. The thought of trying to get everyone’s attention the way Alice recommended made her face start itching again. When
“Only sometimes?”
Alice shrugged.
This is important, Cass wanted to yell. My head isn’t that hard to get through! Instead, she waited, breath held, for Alice to continue.
“Sometimes, it’s the way you feel when you hold your baby. Or when another woman says you look nice. Sometimes, it’s a simple as believing in yourself and the rest follows naturally. I know you don’t want to hear this, but Burke was right to tell you you’d know it when you see it. You’ll know it when you feel it.”
That’s it? “But I can’t feel it. Why else do you think I’m doing all this?” The frustration made Cass want to hit something. Or kick something. Neither the little girl in the stroller or the woman with the belly were acceptable targets, meaning she had to buck up and deal. Alice nibbled her candy, watching while Cass tried to fit this new information in with the other confusing pieces.
They stood looking at each other for a while, silent while the mall hummed around them. People walked this way and that, moving from store to store as if something important weren’t happening in front of them. For Cass, the only thing clicking was resentment.
“You’re like everyone else, aren’t you? You think I’m doing this because of Luke. Like I want him back or something.”
“Truthfully?”
“Yeah, truthfully.”
“I think you’re doing it for Burke.”
Cass laughed, but it felt almost as hollow as it sounded. “Burke is the last person who wants me to change. If you heard some of our arguments…” She laughed again, which didn’t make any sense because she had the strangest urge to cry. “I’m doing this for me , Alice. If Burke had his way, I’d be Little Miss Mud Pie forever.”
Though Alice’s eyes gleamed, she nodded her head. “That’s a big first step, Cass. Makes me think you might pull this off.”
“Because I’m not doing it for Burke?”
“Because you should never change for anyone else.”
Cass’s smile came easier this time.
Alice gestured for them to continue walking when Reva’s mad rocking of the stroller finally got her attention. “I still think you should set your sights on someone. Like target practice. It might help.”
She imagined walking into a roomful of men with her father’s old rifle. “Oh sure, that’ll work. What am I supposed to do if I catch him?”
Alice’s mischievous eyebrow wiggling set them both off on a rail of giggling.
“I’m serious! The last thing I need is another man in my life. I’ve got plenty, thanks.”
“No one said you have to keep them. You walk into a room like you own every single man you see. Even the married ones.” Alice stopped walking, putting a hand on Cass’s sleeve to make her look. “Lift your chin. Roll your shoulders back. Look down at them. Never let them think you’re happy to see any of them. Look at a man once, never look back unless he comes to you .”
Cass stared, wide-eyed. Right in front of her, Alice had gone from mini-van mom to runway model. Her eyes had gone smoky and half-lidded, a blank expression of disinterest smoothing her features. Without so much as a flip of her ponytail or a fluff of her a-line kerchief blouse, she’d changed into someone Cass wouldn’t have recognized. A blink later it was gone and Alice’s impish grin was back. “See?”
“How did you do that?”
“Easy. I believed there wasn’t a man in this mall who wouldn’t think I’m sexy.” She patted her belly. “You’d be surprised how many guys think pregnancy is hot. You can do it. Just believe in yourself a little.”
“Believe.” Cass tried to picture it as she walked. When she walked into rooms, no one noticed but Burke and usually only because he was waiting for her. The thought of trying to get everyone’s attention the way Alice recommended made her face start itching again. When
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