about me.”
“I appreciate the sentiment, but I still wish you’d come to one of us immediately,” Izzy conceded. “And why not after the wedding?”
“I was dealing, and I didn’t need a lecture.”
“I don’t lecture,” Izzy argued.
Bella raised a brow. Who was her sister kidding? Izzy had a doctorate in lecturing.
“Okay, maybe I do, but just a little.”
“Try a lot.” Bella walked to the small wet bar and poured them two glasses of wine. She flopped onto the couch, and Rumble crawled up beside her, putting his big head in her lap. Izzy sat down next to her. She was quiet for a long while.
“Tell me everything.”
And Bella did. Once she got started, she didn’t stop. In between alternating tears and anger, Bella let it all out and felt ten times better for sharing her pain with her sister. Izzy held her, and for once, Bella was grateful for Izzy’s strength and mothering. Sometimes a girl needed a mother. Tears flowed freely with sobs so wrenching they drained every last bit of energy until she was a limp rag doll with her head buried in her sister’s shoulder.
Izzy rubbed her back and murmured to her. The words didn’t matter; the sentiment did. People loved her and cared for her. She’d known that, even as she’d cut her sisters out of her life recently. The attack had shattered more than her confidence and forced her to face some previously denied truths. The partying, the drinking, and anonymous hookups meant nothing, but her family and true friends like Cedric meant everything. Shutting them out didn’t do any of them any good.
Finally, Bella straightened and sniffled. She blew her nose with the tissues Izzy handed her. With her tears dried up, an awkwardness replaced the raw emotions, leaving her stripped bare and vulnerable, a position Bella had never relished.
Izzy stared into Bella’s red-rimmed eyes. She dabbed at her cheeks with another tissue. “Feel better?”
Bella nodded wordlessly.
“Are you going to be okay?”
Bella avoided her gaze. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think I am, other times I’m a mess. To think I used to teach self-defense to victims of crime and abuse. Yeah, that was me—all superior and judgmental as if I had the answers and they were all clueless. Turns out I was the clueless one.”
“Is that why you aren’t teaching?” Leave it to Izzy to leave no hard question unasked.
“I don’t deserve to be training people to defend themselves when I took every risk I warned them against and finally my recklessness caught up to me.”
“Maybe your experiences make you the right person for that job.”
Bella shook her head.
“I won’t say I told you so. You already know that.”
“Thank God for small favors.” Bella managed a feeble smile, and Izzy laughed.
“Why don’t you stay with Riley and me until Ced gets back?”
Bella shook her head. “I know I need to get beyond this overwhelming fear I feel each time I venture out of this condo. If I don’t, my life will never be mine again.”
“Give yourself some time. It’s only been a couple weeks.”
“I know, but I think it’s like falling off a horse. If you don’t get back on, you may never ride again. I don’t want that.”
“I can understand.” Izzy nodded grimly. “I want you to be careful. He took your ID and your phone. He knows who you are and where you live.”
“Where I lived,” Bella corrected. “I let the apartment go the first of January, and I had my stuff moved into storage, not that there was much worth moving. The phone’s been remote wiped and deactivated.”
“Make sure he can’t find you on social media.” Leave it to Izzy to think of things like that.
“Good idea.”
“What about Cedric? Where does he fit into all this?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t. He’d been pressuring me for an exclusive relationship before the attack, but I resisted limiting myself to just one guy. Now I don’t want a guy at all. I know that’s not fair to
“I appreciate the sentiment, but I still wish you’d come to one of us immediately,” Izzy conceded. “And why not after the wedding?”
“I was dealing, and I didn’t need a lecture.”
“I don’t lecture,” Izzy argued.
Bella raised a brow. Who was her sister kidding? Izzy had a doctorate in lecturing.
“Okay, maybe I do, but just a little.”
“Try a lot.” Bella walked to the small wet bar and poured them two glasses of wine. She flopped onto the couch, and Rumble crawled up beside her, putting his big head in her lap. Izzy sat down next to her. She was quiet for a long while.
“Tell me everything.”
And Bella did. Once she got started, she didn’t stop. In between alternating tears and anger, Bella let it all out and felt ten times better for sharing her pain with her sister. Izzy held her, and for once, Bella was grateful for Izzy’s strength and mothering. Sometimes a girl needed a mother. Tears flowed freely with sobs so wrenching they drained every last bit of energy until she was a limp rag doll with her head buried in her sister’s shoulder.
Izzy rubbed her back and murmured to her. The words didn’t matter; the sentiment did. People loved her and cared for her. She’d known that, even as she’d cut her sisters out of her life recently. The attack had shattered more than her confidence and forced her to face some previously denied truths. The partying, the drinking, and anonymous hookups meant nothing, but her family and true friends like Cedric meant everything. Shutting them out didn’t do any of them any good.
Finally, Bella straightened and sniffled. She blew her nose with the tissues Izzy handed her. With her tears dried up, an awkwardness replaced the raw emotions, leaving her stripped bare and vulnerable, a position Bella had never relished.
Izzy stared into Bella’s red-rimmed eyes. She dabbed at her cheeks with another tissue. “Feel better?”
Bella nodded wordlessly.
“Are you going to be okay?”
Bella avoided her gaze. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think I am, other times I’m a mess. To think I used to teach self-defense to victims of crime and abuse. Yeah, that was me—all superior and judgmental as if I had the answers and they were all clueless. Turns out I was the clueless one.”
“Is that why you aren’t teaching?” Leave it to Izzy to leave no hard question unasked.
“I don’t deserve to be training people to defend themselves when I took every risk I warned them against and finally my recklessness caught up to me.”
“Maybe your experiences make you the right person for that job.”
Bella shook her head.
“I won’t say I told you so. You already know that.”
“Thank God for small favors.” Bella managed a feeble smile, and Izzy laughed.
“Why don’t you stay with Riley and me until Ced gets back?”
Bella shook her head. “I know I need to get beyond this overwhelming fear I feel each time I venture out of this condo. If I don’t, my life will never be mine again.”
“Give yourself some time. It’s only been a couple weeks.”
“I know, but I think it’s like falling off a horse. If you don’t get back on, you may never ride again. I don’t want that.”
“I can understand.” Izzy nodded grimly. “I want you to be careful. He took your ID and your phone. He knows who you are and where you live.”
“Where I lived,” Bella corrected. “I let the apartment go the first of January, and I had my stuff moved into storage, not that there was much worth moving. The phone’s been remote wiped and deactivated.”
“Make sure he can’t find you on social media.” Leave it to Izzy to think of things like that.
“Good idea.”
“What about Cedric? Where does he fit into all this?”
“I don’t know. I really don’t. He’d been pressuring me for an exclusive relationship before the attack, but I resisted limiting myself to just one guy. Now I don’t want a guy at all. I know that’s not fair to
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