entailed. Sometimes I just wanted to grab them by the shoulders and shake them. I wanted to tell them, yes, financially it was obviously a blessing, but if you’ve never filmed a TV show like that, you have no idea how stressful it can be. No one knows how much work it is and how exhausting it gets. It’s your real life and your real struggles out there for the world to see, and the world isn’t shy about commenting. How do you feel when people talk about you behind your back? How would you feel if you saw someone criticizing you in writing for everyone to see? Imagine if it was the entire world. Because that is what it feels like. When you get three million viewers a week, that many people are judging you. Someone has something to say about every little thing you do, and they don’t hesitate to say it. I’ve read and heard it all.
The idea that the shows glamorized teen pregnancy is something I’ve heard countless times. It was always astonishing to me that anyone could watch the show and not see how brutal and sad it was. Many of the struggles depicted on the show were heart-wrenching. Fortunately, most people do seem to get that. The ones who watch the shows and come away thinking, “Wow, I really want to be a teen mom now” are an extreme minority compared to the rest. There was never anything on that show that could have been interpreted by any reasonable person as an advertisement in favor of teen pregnancy.
The show had an impact on my personal life, too. It definitely influenced my relationships, especially with Ryan. The dads who appeared on the show got a lot of attention, too, and it was the kind of attention that made it seem a lot more fun to be absent as a boyfriend and a dad. Then there’s the fact that when you watch the show after filming, you see conversations happen that you weren’t there for. It’s sort of like getting to see what people are saying behind your back. That definitely created a wedge that was difficult to look beyond, and not just with Ryan. We all made an effort not to let it affect us, but it did. With a documentary series, the producers and crew get to pack up and go back home to their lives when work is done. But reality continues when the cameras are gone. The people being featured have to deal with the consequences of what’s been filmed, what’s been said, and what’s been started. It’s very difficult to keep all that in check.
Even the process of making friends changed after I started appearing on the show. Going out and meeting people, I had to learn the difference between people who wanted to get to know me as a person and people who wanted to be friends with “Maci from Teen Mom .” Believe it or not, there are plenty of the second kind out there. But I got used to it pretty quickly, and eventually I could tell right off the bat who was who.
That was one more way Nashville made it easier for me to stretch my limbs and kind of smooth out my steering. In Nashville I had a good circle of friends I already trusted for understanding and support, including my best friend, Kyle.
Little by little, I started to straighten things out. But, again, the loneliness got worse before it got better. In fact, at first I felt more alone than ever. The main part was still the nights when I was alone and Bentley had gone to sleep. I’d sit up at nine or ten all alone and start feeling sorry for myself. But I didn’t run from it. I tried to remind myself how many women out there would love to be a mom, even a single mom, and especially with a kid like Bentley. He always inspired me to fight for positivity, too. I never let myself get emotional in front of him. I couldn’t be a miserable mom. I wouldn’t. I was always telling myself, “You have to make it through this and be happy, because Bentley needs you to be.”
What helped the most was being self-aware. Eventually I got to a point where when I started feeling lonely, I recognized it as a mood I was in and didn’t let
The idea that the shows glamorized teen pregnancy is something I’ve heard countless times. It was always astonishing to me that anyone could watch the show and not see how brutal and sad it was. Many of the struggles depicted on the show were heart-wrenching. Fortunately, most people do seem to get that. The ones who watch the shows and come away thinking, “Wow, I really want to be a teen mom now” are an extreme minority compared to the rest. There was never anything on that show that could have been interpreted by any reasonable person as an advertisement in favor of teen pregnancy.
The show had an impact on my personal life, too. It definitely influenced my relationships, especially with Ryan. The dads who appeared on the show got a lot of attention, too, and it was the kind of attention that made it seem a lot more fun to be absent as a boyfriend and a dad. Then there’s the fact that when you watch the show after filming, you see conversations happen that you weren’t there for. It’s sort of like getting to see what people are saying behind your back. That definitely created a wedge that was difficult to look beyond, and not just with Ryan. We all made an effort not to let it affect us, but it did. With a documentary series, the producers and crew get to pack up and go back home to their lives when work is done. But reality continues when the cameras are gone. The people being featured have to deal with the consequences of what’s been filmed, what’s been said, and what’s been started. It’s very difficult to keep all that in check.
Even the process of making friends changed after I started appearing on the show. Going out and meeting people, I had to learn the difference between people who wanted to get to know me as a person and people who wanted to be friends with “Maci from Teen Mom .” Believe it or not, there are plenty of the second kind out there. But I got used to it pretty quickly, and eventually I could tell right off the bat who was who.
That was one more way Nashville made it easier for me to stretch my limbs and kind of smooth out my steering. In Nashville I had a good circle of friends I already trusted for understanding and support, including my best friend, Kyle.
Little by little, I started to straighten things out. But, again, the loneliness got worse before it got better. In fact, at first I felt more alone than ever. The main part was still the nights when I was alone and Bentley had gone to sleep. I’d sit up at nine or ten all alone and start feeling sorry for myself. But I didn’t run from it. I tried to remind myself how many women out there would love to be a mom, even a single mom, and especially with a kid like Bentley. He always inspired me to fight for positivity, too. I never let myself get emotional in front of him. I couldn’t be a miserable mom. I wouldn’t. I was always telling myself, “You have to make it through this and be happy, because Bentley needs you to be.”
What helped the most was being self-aware. Eventually I got to a point where when I started feeling lonely, I recognized it as a mood I was in and didn’t let
Similar Books
