start over again. Tomorrow weâll start over. Well get some perspective on this.
And so finally I went to sleep. And dreamed.
â¢Â â¢Â â¢
The whining spin of a starter in darkness.
Silence.
The starter, whining again.
The engine fired, missed, then caught.
An engine running in darkness.
Then headlights came on, high beams, old-fashioned twin beams, spearing me like a bug on glass.
I was standing in the open doorway of Roland D. LeBayâs garage, and Christine sat insideâa new Christine with not a dent or a speck of rust on her. The clean, unblemished windshield darkened to a polarized blue strip at the top. From the radio came the hard rhythmic sounds of Dale Hawkins doing âSusie-Qââa voice from a dead age, full of somehow frightening vitality.
The motor muttering words of power through dual glass-pack mufflers. And somehow I knew there was a Hurst shifter inside, and Feully headers; the Quaker State oil had just been changedâit was a clean amber color, automotive lifeblood.
The wipers suddenly start up, and thatâs strange because thereâs no one behind the wheel, the car is empty.
âCome on, big guy. Letâs go for a ride. Letâs cruise.
I shake my head. I donât want to get in there. Iâm scared to get in there. I donâ t want to cruise. And suddenly the engine begins to rev and fall off, rev and fall off; itâs a hungry sound, frightening, and each time the engine revs Christine seems to lunge forward a bit, like a mean dog on a weak leash . . . and I want to move . . . but my feet seem nailed to the cracked pavement of the driveway.
âLast chance, big guy.
And before I can answerâor even think of an answerâthere is the terrible scream of rubber kissing off concrete and Christine lunges out at me, her grille snarling like an open mouth full of chrome teeth, her headlights glaringâ
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I screamed myself awake in the dead darkness of two in the morning, the sound of my own voice scaring me, the hurried, running thud of bare feet coming down the hall scaring me even worse. I had double handfuls of sheet in both hands. Iâd pulled the sheet right out; it was all wadded up in the middle of the bed. My body was sweat-slippery.
Down the hall, Ellie cried out âWhat was that?â in her own terror.
My light flooded on and there was my mom in a shorty nightgown that showed more than she would have allowed except in the direst of emergencies, and right behind her, my dad, belting his bathrobe closed over nothing at all.
âHoney, what is it?â my mom asked me. Her eyes were wide and scared. I couldnât remember the last time she had called me âhoneyâ like thatâwhen I was fourteen? twelve? ten, maybe? I donât know.
âDennis?â Dad asked.
Then Elaine was standing behind and between them, shivering.
âGo back to bed,â I said. âIt was a dream, thatâs all. Nothing.â
âWow,â Elaine said, shocked into respect by the hour and the occasion. âMust have been a real horror-movie. What was it, Dennis?â
âI dreamed that you married Milton Dodd and then came to live with me,â I said.
âDonât tease your sister,â Mom said. âWhat was it, Dennis?â
âI donât remember,â I said.
I was suddenly aware that the sheet was a mess, and there was a dark tuft of pubic hair poking out. I rearranged things in a hurry, with guilty thoughts of masturbation, wet dreams, God knows what else shooting through my head. Total dislocation. For the first spinning moment or two, I hadnât even been sure if I was big or littleâthere was only that dark, terrifying, and overmastering image of the car lunging forward a little each time the engine revved, dropping back, lunging forward again, the hood vibrating over the engine-bucket, the grille like steel
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