Treacle.
‘Perfect,’ she tells me. ‘All you need now is some false eyelashes and plenty of make-up.’
I look at the costume laid out on the counter. I’m suddenly hyper-aware that on Friday I’m going to be wearing it in public. ‘It’s a shame I can’t hire
courage.’
After dinner, I retreat to my room. Jessica’s costume is hidden in my wardrobe. It’s easier than explaining why I’m giving an end-of-term speech.
I snuggle into my desk chair and, drawing my feet under me, I flick on my laptop. I can hear Dad droning while Ben chirps next door. It’s bedtime and they’re reading stories.
I start work on next week’s horoscopes.
Ryan first. I’m happy that last week’s stars pointed him in the right direction, but if his relationship with Sally is going to last, he’ll need to improve his boyfriend
technique.
Leo
You idiot. Stop playing for laughs. It might work in class, but in a relationship you’ll get booed and boohooed. Think before you speak or you might end up dancing with yourself at the
prom.
Will’s next. Now that Jessica has his attention, it’s time to guide him towards a little happiness.
Aquarius
Star-ling, work is your first love, but it’s time you found a second. Cut the grind and work up a sweat doing something fun. Last week, an unexpected gift brightened your day; this
week, an unexpected hug might signal the start of romance.
The chances of anyone giving Will an unexpected hug are remote. I decide to increase them.
Aquarius
My watery friend, love is in the air. It’s time you surfaced and took a gulp. A grouchy classmate may turn out to have a tender side. Why not shower a little love on the unlovable.
Don’t forget: a hug is never wasted.
That’s at least one twelfth of Year Ten covered. Just to make sure, I decide to spread the word through another twelfth. I pick the next sign on my list.
Scorpio
Put your sting away. Your stars are lined up in Venus this week. Love will blossom wherever you go. Embrace your allure; scatter affection on everyone. You may sow the seeds of a new
romance.
Feeling warm with good intentions, I move on to Capricorn.
My warmth chills.
Capricorn is Sam’s sign. I try to remind myself that he’s not the
only
Capricorn in the world and aim for something non-Sam specific.
Capricorn
Celebrate the end of term by trying something new.
Bitterness gnaws at me.
Loyalty, for example.
How can I be non-Sam specific? Every other thought features Sam. I quit trying to be general and get personal.
I know it’s tough for an independent sign like you to commit, but stop weighing up your options. You’ve chosen your date for the prom. Stick with it before you break another
heart.
I hope he reads it. Even the Ice Queen deserves a boyfriend she can trust. I feel an ache where my heart used to be and try to ease it by writing my own horoscope.
Libra
Don’t panic. With the end of term looming, you find yourself facing a difficult week.
It’s End of Year Assembly
and
the prom on Friday. I’m not looking forward to either.
If you find yourself in the spotlight, let the stars be your guide. They haven’t let you down yet. Friday might feel lonely, but don’t forget you have friends and family who love
you. If you’re single, make the most of your freedom. It may not last forever.
Perhaps I shouldn’t go to the prom at all.
Then I remember my webzine article. I open a copy onscreen.
Make the Most of Being Single.
There’s no way I can dodge the prom. By Friday, half the school will have read my ode to
the single life. I
have
to turn up and show them I really don’t care about not having a boyfriend.
I delete the title. It sounds too apologetic. In its place I write
No Prom Date? No Problem!
I just wish it were true.
It’s drizzly on Monday. The dark sky’s so heavy, it’s scraping rooftops. To lighten the dullness in the webzine HQ, an unshaded light bulb flickers
half-heartedly above our heads. It’s the
‘Perfect,’ she tells me. ‘All you need now is some false eyelashes and plenty of make-up.’
I look at the costume laid out on the counter. I’m suddenly hyper-aware that on Friday I’m going to be wearing it in public. ‘It’s a shame I can’t hire
courage.’
After dinner, I retreat to my room. Jessica’s costume is hidden in my wardrobe. It’s easier than explaining why I’m giving an end-of-term speech.
I snuggle into my desk chair and, drawing my feet under me, I flick on my laptop. I can hear Dad droning while Ben chirps next door. It’s bedtime and they’re reading stories.
I start work on next week’s horoscopes.
Ryan first. I’m happy that last week’s stars pointed him in the right direction, but if his relationship with Sally is going to last, he’ll need to improve his boyfriend
technique.
Leo
You idiot. Stop playing for laughs. It might work in class, but in a relationship you’ll get booed and boohooed. Think before you speak or you might end up dancing with yourself at the
prom.
Will’s next. Now that Jessica has his attention, it’s time to guide him towards a little happiness.
Aquarius
Star-ling, work is your first love, but it’s time you found a second. Cut the grind and work up a sweat doing something fun. Last week, an unexpected gift brightened your day; this
week, an unexpected hug might signal the start of romance.
The chances of anyone giving Will an unexpected hug are remote. I decide to increase them.
Aquarius
My watery friend, love is in the air. It’s time you surfaced and took a gulp. A grouchy classmate may turn out to have a tender side. Why not shower a little love on the unlovable.
Don’t forget: a hug is never wasted.
That’s at least one twelfth of Year Ten covered. Just to make sure, I decide to spread the word through another twelfth. I pick the next sign on my list.
Scorpio
Put your sting away. Your stars are lined up in Venus this week. Love will blossom wherever you go. Embrace your allure; scatter affection on everyone. You may sow the seeds of a new
romance.
Feeling warm with good intentions, I move on to Capricorn.
My warmth chills.
Capricorn is Sam’s sign. I try to remind myself that he’s not the
only
Capricorn in the world and aim for something non-Sam specific.
Capricorn
Celebrate the end of term by trying something new.
Bitterness gnaws at me.
Loyalty, for example.
How can I be non-Sam specific? Every other thought features Sam. I quit trying to be general and get personal.
I know it’s tough for an independent sign like you to commit, but stop weighing up your options. You’ve chosen your date for the prom. Stick with it before you break another
heart.
I hope he reads it. Even the Ice Queen deserves a boyfriend she can trust. I feel an ache where my heart used to be and try to ease it by writing my own horoscope.
Libra
Don’t panic. With the end of term looming, you find yourself facing a difficult week.
It’s End of Year Assembly
and
the prom on Friday. I’m not looking forward to either.
If you find yourself in the spotlight, let the stars be your guide. They haven’t let you down yet. Friday might feel lonely, but don’t forget you have friends and family who love
you. If you’re single, make the most of your freedom. It may not last forever.
Perhaps I shouldn’t go to the prom at all.
Then I remember my webzine article. I open a copy onscreen.
Make the Most of Being Single.
There’s no way I can dodge the prom. By Friday, half the school will have read my ode to
the single life. I
have
to turn up and show them I really don’t care about not having a boyfriend.
I delete the title. It sounds too apologetic. In its place I write
No Prom Date? No Problem!
I just wish it were true.
It’s drizzly on Monday. The dark sky’s so heavy, it’s scraping rooftops. To lighten the dullness in the webzine HQ, an unshaded light bulb flickers
half-heartedly above our heads. It’s the
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