Dominant for the Night (For The Night #7) by C. J. Fallowfield Page A

flower and velvet box containing the key
to my apartment, so she could come as go as she wanted, were still sitting
there untouched, ready to go on the breakfast tray when I woke her up. I ran my
hand over the box containing the key and sighed. I’d even cleared out space in
my wardrobe for her to leave some clothes, a drawer in my bedroom too. That’s
what couples did when they got serious, they made room in each other’s lives
for the other, but she’d run from me. And it hurt like hell.
    I pocketed my car keys and looked around for my
phone. It was where I left it last night, on the lamp table next to my
armchair, where I’d sat watching her stripping off her coat. I closed my eyes
and shook my head to get rid of the visual. I was used to playing roles, well
today I was Lucas Steel, Private Investigator. A real life James Bond. I had a
mission, to find out why she’d fled and nothing was going to stop me getting to
the bottom of it. If she thought I’d let her get away from me that easily, she
had another think coming. I picked up my phone and saw that I had an iMessage.
I felt my heart rate spike. If it was her, if she was messaging me to say it
was over, that would kill me. To not even say it to my face? Something like
that should be said in person. Surely I deserved that much? I tapped on it with
a shaking finger, swallowing hard as I saw it was from her.
    Lucas, please don’t be mad with me, it’s not
what it looks like. I panicked. You told me that you loved me and I panicked
and ran. I’m so scared of you breaking my heart. I hurt so badly that time we
were apart for a week and we barely knew each other then. We’re further down
the line and you’re confessing your love for me, how would I feel if we took
this further and you broke my heart now? I don’t think I could handle that, so
I ran. I need to talk to you when you wake up, as long as you’re not going to
punish me. I’m feeling emotional and vulnerable, so I don’t want to be punished
today. I know I may deserve it for doing this to you, but I really need to talk
to you. Not by phone. There are things that should only be said face to face
and I’m sorry I didn’t have the courage to try to be honest with you before I
ran out on you. I contemplated coming to you, but in case you wouldn’t hear me
out, I couldn’t face the humiliation of another journey home with David, while
I was in floods of tears again. I’m at home and I’ll be on tenterhooks waiting
to hear from you. Don’t make me run out of oxygen this time Lucas Steel.
Summer x
    I read the message a few times, my heart cantering
in my chest. What was she trying to say? I couldn’t work out if she was telling
me that she needed to see me tell me it was over, even though technically we
weren’t an item yet, or if she was telling me, without saying the actual words,
that she was in love with me and terrified of it. When I’d asked her out she’d
had a panic attack and had told me that she needed time to think it over. That
time it had been me that told her not to make me run out of oxygen, as I waited
for her answer. Was that what this was? She was having a panic attack
again and just needed some space to work it through? There was a link at the
bottom of the message to a song, which I clicked. I played it once and had to
sit down in my armchair as my legs gave way, my hands trembled and my mouth
went dry. I sat in a stupefied daze for a while, thinking about what I’d just
heard and relating it to us, as my heart beat like a bass drum against my rib
cage.
    I played the track again, just to be one-hundred
per cent sure I’d not misunderstood her message. The song had been edited, so I
could only hear a part of it.
     

     
    You catch me in your eyes
    That beauty on my pillow
    That holds me in the night
    And I will find my strength to untame my mouth
    When I used to be afraid of the words
    But with you I've learned just to let it out
    Now my heart is ready to burst
     
    'Cause I,