Experiment in Terror 06.5 And With Madness Comes the Light by Karina Halle Page B

glad it wasn’t worse. I fished
some Nicorette out of my pocket and popped the last two pieces in
my mouth, chewing away like it was going to save my sanity.
    We didn’t say much to each other. There was
nothing we really could say. Talking seemed futile. Thinking seemed
useless. I just stared over her white-blonde head and out the
hole-covered screen door, to the back yard that seemed to stretch
on forever in hills of dust and light. Yesterday I had been having
pizza with Rebecca, thinking I’d never see Perry again. Now, I was
with her, but her soul was far away. It didn’t seem fair. It didn’t
seem easy. All the back and forth between us, all our struggles
with each other and with ourselves and we still weren’t fixed. We
were still both terribly broken, and for once, it seemed like Perry
was the one beyond repair.
    After what seemed like forever, Roman opened
the door and stuck his head out into the hall.
    “You can come back in now,” he said,
retreating back inside.
    Ada and I exchanged an anxious glance and
got to our feet. The room now was completely black with the shades
drawn tight and a bunch of smelly smoke lingered in the air.
    Ada coughed and waved it away from her
face.
    But Roman was quick. “No,” he said, firmly
grabbing Ada’s hand in mid-wave. “Don’t move it. It is to help us.
Breathe it in. It will help purify you both.”
    I did as he said, hoping that a lungful of
sage and whatever else it was would be as good for me as a
cigarette. Christ, I could have killed for one.
    He shut the door behind us and told us to
stand at the foot of the bed. We both approached Perry with
trepidation as he went to the other side of her. She looked no
worse than before, but also no better.
    Roman kept his eyes on Perry as he said to
us, “Tell me how this all started.”
    I gave Ada a look. I was a late party to
this whole thing. She nodded, knowing it was her responsibility,
and stepped closer to Roman, going over everything that happened
from the start. It hurt to hear it all over again.
    When she was done, Roman turned to me.
    “And where do you come in?”
    I cleared my throat, feeling like an idiot
for being on the outside. “The little one called me. I was the only
one who believed what was wrong with Perry.”
    “What was Perry’s state of mind before all
of this happened?”
    I opened my mouth but had no idea what to
say. How was Perry? How did I leave her? She had been ruined, just
like me. We’d ruined each other and left the other one for
dead.
    Ada was watching me, her blue eyes sparkling
hotly. She was not amused.
    “Perry’s state of mind?” Ada repeated. “She
was emo as shit.”
    Yeah, it was going to take a while before I
was out of the doghouse.
    Ada came up to me and stuck her pointy
finger underneath my chin, her nail digging in uncomfortably. “This
asshole broke up with Perry. Broke her poor fucking heart right in
two. I’m only tolerating him because he was the last chance we
had.”
    Right. So now I knew it for sure. She was
relying on me because she had to. She dug her finger in deeper,
emphasizing her point, and my eyes went to the floor. Shame didn’t
quite explain it. She thought this was all my fault. Everyone now
knew this was all my fault. The floor seemed to wave underneath my
gaze but maybe that was the water in my eyes.
    “I see,” Roman said slowly and with a heavy
sigh.
    “Yeah,” Ada continued, “basically slept with
her and ditched her, used her...”
    “Hey, okay, wait a minute,” I said, stepping
away from her lethal tips. “That’s not exactly what happened.”
    She glared at me with all the condemnation a
teenage girl could muster (which, by the way, is a lot). “Oh yeah,
perhaps you better explain what happened. Why Perry cried in her
room for days wondering what the hell went wrong. You weren’t
there. You didn’t have to help her day in and out, hoping that one
day she’d come out of it and realize what a goddamn asshole you
are. You