before she says her name.
It's Layla.
Lukas's mom.
Her eyes are bright blue, and her hair is fair and curly, but it's the way she looks me over, like she knows something. It feels like I'm right back at the Refuge with Lukas.
"Colton, Junie -- who did you bring here?" she asks holding the radio device out away from her, both arms outstretched as she cautiously walks down the steps of the large porch.
A man follows out the door behind her, like a mad professor. He's even wearing a lab coat. I grab Timid's hand, instinctively, pulling her behind me.
"Layla, what is the meaning of this noise? It must be broken. Turn the damned thing off!" He shouts at her, trampling down the stairs.
"Hi, Layla. We brought ... I mean ... umm they wanted to come...." Junie stammers over the buzz.
The man grabs the receiver from Layla, and with a click of a button the machine turns off.
Silence.
It's Lukas's dad, Ernie.
My face is hot, sweat gathers on my forehead. I knew I was coming here to meet Lukas's parents, but I didn't think about how seeing them would make me feel. These are the people who abandoned the man I love. They've chosen to live in this world, instead of the world that held their precious son.
I can't forgive them.
But I do need them.
Stepping forward I raise my head, determined to speak loud and clear.
"My name is Lucy. I've been looking for you. I come from The Light."
CHAPTER TWELVE
Lukas
All night I dream of Dad and Mom and Charles.
And me.
I watch as they ride in the boat leaving The Light -- leaving me -- with hot tears falling down their faces. I watch them make it to shore, where Mom falls into the water, screaming that she can't leave her baby here. In the dream they hike across a wilderness I've only read about. Charles begs to go back to The Light, come back to me.
I relive the memory of being strapped to my chair, unable to run, as Conviction tells me my parents left me. They wanted the power you have, he says to my ten-year-old face, crumbling with the reality that I've been left alone. I watch myself struggle to breathe as the weight of the Refuge, and of being an orphan, pounds on the gate of my tender, broken heart.
I wake with a start. My face, chest, hands, drip of sweat. My chest beats wildly, fast and furious, because Conviction was wrong.
He's the one that's always wanted my power.
I wake knowing I'm going to stop giving him what he wants.
Lucy
Layla drops the receiver and pulls her hands to her mouth, gasping at my words. Ernie walks toward us with his lab coat blowing in the wind. His gaze lowers to my standard-issue moccasin-covered feet and the ripped and ragged dress hanging at my knees. He's trying to remain strong, I can tell from his clenched jaw and straight shoulders. But his eyes betray him. They are grey like the clouds in the sky, filled with tears, just like the rain the clouds themselves hold.
They stand speechless and they should be. I want to prey on the guilt I hope they feel, in order to get them to help us. I want them so overrun with remorse that they become desperate to find a way back to their boy. Speechless is a good thing.
"I am here only because I need your help. And so does your son."
The last part is too much for them. The woman walks towards me, shaking her head, "You know our son? You know our Lukas?" She suddenly looks so fragile, not the woman from moments ago waving a radio in her outstretched hand.
I nod my head, yes. Because I do. I do know their boy. He is the boy who told me I was beautiful. The boy who gave me courage to reveal all of myself to him. The boy whose hand I want to hold right now, but can't.
Because the people before me -- his parents -- abandoned him.
I want to yell in their face, tell them the things they've missed by choosing to leave. They missed seeing him grow into a man so selfless; he stayed at the Refuge instead of running away with Timid and me. But I don't. Because I need
It's Layla.
Lukas's mom.
Her eyes are bright blue, and her hair is fair and curly, but it's the way she looks me over, like she knows something. It feels like I'm right back at the Refuge with Lukas.
"Colton, Junie -- who did you bring here?" she asks holding the radio device out away from her, both arms outstretched as she cautiously walks down the steps of the large porch.
A man follows out the door behind her, like a mad professor. He's even wearing a lab coat. I grab Timid's hand, instinctively, pulling her behind me.
"Layla, what is the meaning of this noise? It must be broken. Turn the damned thing off!" He shouts at her, trampling down the stairs.
"Hi, Layla. We brought ... I mean ... umm they wanted to come...." Junie stammers over the buzz.
The man grabs the receiver from Layla, and with a click of a button the machine turns off.
Silence.
It's Lukas's dad, Ernie.
My face is hot, sweat gathers on my forehead. I knew I was coming here to meet Lukas's parents, but I didn't think about how seeing them would make me feel. These are the people who abandoned the man I love. They've chosen to live in this world, instead of the world that held their precious son.
I can't forgive them.
But I do need them.
Stepping forward I raise my head, determined to speak loud and clear.
"My name is Lucy. I've been looking for you. I come from The Light."
CHAPTER TWELVE
Lukas
All night I dream of Dad and Mom and Charles.
And me.
I watch as they ride in the boat leaving The Light -- leaving me -- with hot tears falling down their faces. I watch them make it to shore, where Mom falls into the water, screaming that she can't leave her baby here. In the dream they hike across a wilderness I've only read about. Charles begs to go back to The Light, come back to me.
I relive the memory of being strapped to my chair, unable to run, as Conviction tells me my parents left me. They wanted the power you have, he says to my ten-year-old face, crumbling with the reality that I've been left alone. I watch myself struggle to breathe as the weight of the Refuge, and of being an orphan, pounds on the gate of my tender, broken heart.
I wake with a start. My face, chest, hands, drip of sweat. My chest beats wildly, fast and furious, because Conviction was wrong.
He's the one that's always wanted my power.
I wake knowing I'm going to stop giving him what he wants.
Lucy
Layla drops the receiver and pulls her hands to her mouth, gasping at my words. Ernie walks toward us with his lab coat blowing in the wind. His gaze lowers to my standard-issue moccasin-covered feet and the ripped and ragged dress hanging at my knees. He's trying to remain strong, I can tell from his clenched jaw and straight shoulders. But his eyes betray him. They are grey like the clouds in the sky, filled with tears, just like the rain the clouds themselves hold.
They stand speechless and they should be. I want to prey on the guilt I hope they feel, in order to get them to help us. I want them so overrun with remorse that they become desperate to find a way back to their boy. Speechless is a good thing.
"I am here only because I need your help. And so does your son."
The last part is too much for them. The woman walks towards me, shaking her head, "You know our son? You know our Lukas?" She suddenly looks so fragile, not the woman from moments ago waving a radio in her outstretched hand.
I nod my head, yes. Because I do. I do know their boy. He is the boy who told me I was beautiful. The boy who gave me courage to reveal all of myself to him. The boy whose hand I want to hold right now, but can't.
Because the people before me -- his parents -- abandoned him.
I want to yell in their face, tell them the things they've missed by choosing to leave. They missed seeing him grow into a man so selfless; he stayed at the Refuge instead of running away with Timid and me. But I don't. Because I need
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