How To Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less by Nicholas Boothman Page B
Authors: Nicholas Boothman
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lead to a meaningful friendship or relationship.
To give you an idea of how sensory preferences impact on our day-to-day life, let me tell
you about my own situation. I am Auditory and my wife is Kinesthetic. If we have a
falling out, Wendy knows to connect to me in my “language,” with Auditory words. She
gets my immediate attention by saying, “Nick, you're not listening to me. You're not
hearing a word I'm saying.” If she were to say, “Can't you see what I'm saying” or, even
worse, “Can't you see how that makes me feel?” the truth is no, I could not.
Sure, I make the obvious intellectual connection, but I have to stop and think about it;
my brain has to take the extra step of translating her language into something I can
relate to. When she sends a message on my Auditory wavelength, she makes a direct
connectionfast.
Conversely, if I want to connect directly to her sensibilities, I say, “I know how you
feel when that happens.” In other words, I use a touchy-feely, Kinesthetic approach.
Simple, yet extraordinarily effective.
How to Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less
Tuning In to Sensory Preferences
What do sensory types have to do with making people like you in 90 seconds or less? More
than you might expect. When you can figure out other people's sensory preferences, you can communicate on 124
The words “I have scoured the four corners of the earth” tell a lot more than “I've looked
everywhere”; they force the connection to scrutiny, diligence,
detail, determination and more. They also easily involve sight, sound and feeling, and
this is why metaphors appeal simultaneously to Visuals, Auditories and Kinesthetics.
Visuals can picture them. Auditories can hear them and Kinesthetics can get a feel for
what's happening.
Metaphors are containers for ideas. They link our internal imagination to external
reality. We use metaphors regularly, often unconsciously, to explain our thinking. We also
use them to make things more interesting. Parables, fables, storytelling and anecdotes are
some of the oldest and most powerful communication tools we have, and their metaphorical
aspects are effective in virtually every setting. They fire up the imagination and appeal
to all the senses.
In short, metaphors help to make understanding easier, quicker and richer.
their wavelength. If you want to better relate to your spouse, win a judge over to your
side of an argument, make that sale, land that job or impress somebody at a party,
recognizing Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic people can be invaluable.
The day after one of my seminars, I received an excited phone call from a woman who had
been sitting in the audience. Her name was Barbara, and she owned a flooring store.
“It's incredible!” she said. "It's nine-thirty, we've been open for an hour and I've just
sold to my fifth out of five customers. I've never done that before!
“This is perfect for my business,” she continued, referring to my lecture on figuring out
the Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic people we come across in the course of our daily
adventures. "The first four sales were probably normal, even though I was aware of what
I'd learned. But the fifth . . . This lady came into the shop dragging her husband along
with her. It was obvious that he didn't want to be there. I figured out immediately that
he was a feeler, a Kinesthetic, and within 30 seconds I had him on his hands and knees
feeling the carpet. And they bought it.
“I just knew that if I'd said to him, 'Imagine how this will look in your house,' he
couldn't do that because he's not Visual. Or if I'd said, 'You'll discover just how quiet
it'll be when your kids run around on it,' he wouldn't connect to that, either, because he
doesn't think that wayhe's not Auditory. I knew by the way he dressed and moved and spoke
that he was Kinesthetic, so I said, 'Just feel it.' And
To give you an idea of how sensory preferences impact on our day-to-day life, let me tell
you about my own situation. I am Auditory and my wife is Kinesthetic. If we have a
falling out, Wendy knows to connect to me in my “language,” with Auditory words. She
gets my immediate attention by saying, “Nick, you're not listening to me. You're not
hearing a word I'm saying.” If she were to say, “Can't you see what I'm saying” or, even
worse, “Can't you see how that makes me feel?” the truth is no, I could not.
Sure, I make the obvious intellectual connection, but I have to stop and think about it;
my brain has to take the extra step of translating her language into something I can
relate to. When she sends a message on my Auditory wavelength, she makes a direct
connectionfast.
Conversely, if I want to connect directly to her sensibilities, I say, “I know how you
feel when that happens.” In other words, I use a touchy-feely, Kinesthetic approach.
Simple, yet extraordinarily effective.
How to Make People Like You In 90 Seconds Or Less
Tuning In to Sensory Preferences
What do sensory types have to do with making people like you in 90 seconds or less? More
than you might expect. When you can figure out other people's sensory preferences, you can communicate on 124
The words “I have scoured the four corners of the earth” tell a lot more than “I've looked
everywhere”; they force the connection to scrutiny, diligence,
detail, determination and more. They also easily involve sight, sound and feeling, and
this is why metaphors appeal simultaneously to Visuals, Auditories and Kinesthetics.
Visuals can picture them. Auditories can hear them and Kinesthetics can get a feel for
what's happening.
Metaphors are containers for ideas. They link our internal imagination to external
reality. We use metaphors regularly, often unconsciously, to explain our thinking. We also
use them to make things more interesting. Parables, fables, storytelling and anecdotes are
some of the oldest and most powerful communication tools we have, and their metaphorical
aspects are effective in virtually every setting. They fire up the imagination and appeal
to all the senses.
In short, metaphors help to make understanding easier, quicker and richer.
their wavelength. If you want to better relate to your spouse, win a judge over to your
side of an argument, make that sale, land that job or impress somebody at a party,
recognizing Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic people can be invaluable.
The day after one of my seminars, I received an excited phone call from a woman who had
been sitting in the audience. Her name was Barbara, and she owned a flooring store.
“It's incredible!” she said. "It's nine-thirty, we've been open for an hour and I've just
sold to my fifth out of five customers. I've never done that before!
“This is perfect for my business,” she continued, referring to my lecture on figuring out
the Visual, Auditory and Kinesthetic people we come across in the course of our daily
adventures. "The first four sales were probably normal, even though I was aware of what
I'd learned. But the fifth . . . This lady came into the shop dragging her husband along
with her. It was obvious that he didn't want to be there. I figured out immediately that
he was a feeler, a Kinesthetic, and within 30 seconds I had him on his hands and knees
feeling the carpet. And they bought it.
“I just knew that if I'd said to him, 'Imagine how this will look in your house,' he
couldn't do that because he's not Visual. Or if I'd said, 'You'll discover just how quiet
it'll be when your kids run around on it,' he wouldn't connect to that, either, because he
doesn't think that wayhe's not Auditory. I knew by the way he dressed and moved and spoke
that he was Kinesthetic, so I said, 'Just feel it.' And
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