Jumping the Scratch by Sarah Weeks Page B

cushions. I didn’t even mind it when I felt Audrey untie my shoes and pull them off. “I want you to imagine that you are on a sandy beach. Warm sun shines down on you, caressing your body with its healing light. Gentle waves lap at the shore, and a moist, cool sea breeze blows through your hair.” I had a feeling Audrey must be reading from the yellow book, because the words didn’t sound like things she would actually say. She went on in a soft, dreamy voice. “In the distance you see a tall building. That is your destination. The tall building. Your feet walk effortlessly upon the warm sand. Almost as though you are gliding.”
    I was still listening to Audrey’s voice, but I was also picturing myself on the beach, gliding along toward the tall building. I was moving sosmoothly, my feet barely touched the ground. The sun poured over me like warm syrup and the waves sparkled and Audrey’s voice seemed to come from somewhere far away, out where the blue of the sea met the blue of the sky and they both just kept going.
    â€œYou are focused on the building. That is your destination. You are almost there. I want you to stop walking and take three deep breaths with me now.”
    I lay on the couch, with my eyes closed tight, and took three slow, deep breaths, exhaling through my mouth each time.
    â€œYou are walking again. You are walking upon the warm sand. And now, at last, you reach the tall building,” Audrey continued in her faraway voice. “As you enter, you notice a large elevator on your right. You can see yourself reflected in the shiny metal doors. Do you see yourself in the doors?”
    I did see myself. Like in a dream.
    â€œMmm-hmm,” I murmured softly.
    â€œGood. Now the doors slide open, and you enter the elevator. The number ten lights up as the elevator doors close. The car begins to move. Youare going down. You see the numbers light up in red as you descend. Down, down, down you go, and the numbers go down too. Ten…nine…eight…”
    She counted slowly all the way down to one.
    â€œAnd now you have arrived. You are all the way down. All the way down under the ground, where it is safe and warm. You can relax now and be at peace with yourself.”
    I was floating a million miles away. I could hear her voice, so I knew I was still awake, but it was as if I were sound asleep at the same time. It felt so good, I didn’t want it ever to end. I wanted to keep floating like that forever and never have to come back. Everything would get smaller and smaller, just the way the house in Battle Creek had after we drove away from it for the last time. I wanted to keep floating until no matter where I looked, there was nothing to see but clear blue water, and then I would close my eyes, take a deep breath, and finally let myself forget….
    â€¦the way Old Gray always seemed to be sitting out on the office steps when I came home from school each day. How he’d wave to me and start up a conversation as I walked past. And thenhow one day he said if I would help him hang up his Christmas lights, he’d give me five dollars. I said sure, and I put down my books and climbed up on the ladder to help him hang the strings of colored bulbs from the rain gutters.
    While we worked, Old Gray asked me all kinds of questions. What was my favorite subject at school? Did I have a best friend? And how did I feel about not having a father around anymore? I told him that my mom didn’t like it when I talked about my dad, but Old Gray said he didn’t mind a bit if I wanted to talk about my dad. In fact I could talk about him all day long if I wanted to, and he promised he would never tell my mother. “Trust me,” he said. “It will be our secret.”
    He was so easy to talk to. He made me feel like I was the most important person in the world. He kept asking me questions, and I kept telling him things. How I hadn’t made any friends