be the real thing, if there’s not a pinch of truth in the brew.
This is the truth, I shouted. I want to walk where he walks. To walk in his world, down there in the big city. For his eyes to catch on me when I’m dancing.
Go dance for him, then; what’s stopping you?
No, I said, stamping my foot on the turf. You must change me first. Make me better. Make me right. Make me like a woman he could love.
She knotted her hands in her frayed shawl. What’s wrong with you, girl, that you would make yourself over again?
Everything.
Change for your own sake, if you must, not for what you imagine another will ask of you.
I’m doing the asking now, I said.
A gull screamed; we watched it flap by.
After a moment, I asked, Is it possible, then?
She turned her palms up to the sky. Anything’s possible.
It felt like a victory. I stood up straighter. I have no money today, I told her, but if you’ll give me a little time –
She ignored that. It’ll cost you your voice, she said.
I stared at her.
You won’t be able to laugh or answer a question, to shout when something spills on you or cry out with delight at the full moon. You will neither be able to speak your love nor sing it
with that famous voice of yours.
But –
But you will have him. Also, she said, while I was still taking a breath, there will be pain.
Pain?
Like a sword cutting you in half. You will bleed for this man.
Yes, I said all in a rush, before my other selves could stop me.
The witch gave me a gentle smile. Well done, my child.
Then I have chosen rightly?
Not at all. But I have a weakness for brave fools. She looked around her for a thistle, came close to me and combed my hair with it. Then she turned to go into the cave.
I stood like a stone, bedded in the earth. She looked over her shoulder. Yes?
Don’t you . . . don’t I . . . isn’t there something we have to do?
What? she said wearily. Should I make you vomit up your voice and bury it under the cliff? Pull it out of your mouth like a silken rope and seal it in a jar?
I tried again. All I want to know is, when will it happen?
She reached out one filthy finger and touched me lightly on the throat. It already has, she said. Then the shadows around the cave mouth took her in.
I walked down the hill, my cold ears ringing.
At first I could hardly believe that the change had happened, but soon I had proof. My mother saw me packing my bundle, and asked what I was doing, but when I tried to answer her I found my
throat was sealed tight as a drum. At last she understood and shrank back on her stool. One of my sisters turned angry, one mocked me, another wept as I set off from our cottage, heading into the
mountains.
I walked and walked. Whenever I would have liked to sing I counted sheep instead. After a day I could no longer smell the sea. On the third day I immersed myself in a mountain lake, and when I
stepped out I was white as the wind. I wound wild roses in my hair. Men who passed me on the road turned their heads to stare. It was all true, the witch had done what she promised. By the time I
reached the city I had no more fear. I sold all I had for a new dress that reached to the ground whispering as I walked. Power was ringing through my lovely body: what need had I of words?
I found him easily, by walking down the street of merchants to the tallest house and sitting on the steps. After a while he came out with his father. As soon as he saw me he laughed. He said
something to his father, and ran down to help me up. My feet were like raw meat, but my smile held his eyes. He was just as I had remembered. It was I who had changed. When he offered me his hand,
I felt completely new.
He was sure he’d seen me somewhere before. I was a puzzle to him. After a few days he began to call me his little foundling; how the words were sweet to my ear. He didn’t seem to
mind that I answered all his questions with kisses. He gave me silk slippers for my feet, and a huge velvet cushion
This is the truth, I shouted. I want to walk where he walks. To walk in his world, down there in the big city. For his eyes to catch on me when I’m dancing.
Go dance for him, then; what’s stopping you?
No, I said, stamping my foot on the turf. You must change me first. Make me better. Make me right. Make me like a woman he could love.
She knotted her hands in her frayed shawl. What’s wrong with you, girl, that you would make yourself over again?
Everything.
Change for your own sake, if you must, not for what you imagine another will ask of you.
I’m doing the asking now, I said.
A gull screamed; we watched it flap by.
After a moment, I asked, Is it possible, then?
She turned her palms up to the sky. Anything’s possible.
It felt like a victory. I stood up straighter. I have no money today, I told her, but if you’ll give me a little time –
She ignored that. It’ll cost you your voice, she said.
I stared at her.
You won’t be able to laugh or answer a question, to shout when something spills on you or cry out with delight at the full moon. You will neither be able to speak your love nor sing it
with that famous voice of yours.
But –
But you will have him. Also, she said, while I was still taking a breath, there will be pain.
Pain?
Like a sword cutting you in half. You will bleed for this man.
Yes, I said all in a rush, before my other selves could stop me.
The witch gave me a gentle smile. Well done, my child.
Then I have chosen rightly?
Not at all. But I have a weakness for brave fools. She looked around her for a thistle, came close to me and combed my hair with it. Then she turned to go into the cave.
I stood like a stone, bedded in the earth. She looked over her shoulder. Yes?
Don’t you . . . don’t I . . . isn’t there something we have to do?
What? she said wearily. Should I make you vomit up your voice and bury it under the cliff? Pull it out of your mouth like a silken rope and seal it in a jar?
I tried again. All I want to know is, when will it happen?
She reached out one filthy finger and touched me lightly on the throat. It already has, she said. Then the shadows around the cave mouth took her in.
I walked down the hill, my cold ears ringing.
At first I could hardly believe that the change had happened, but soon I had proof. My mother saw me packing my bundle, and asked what I was doing, but when I tried to answer her I found my
throat was sealed tight as a drum. At last she understood and shrank back on her stool. One of my sisters turned angry, one mocked me, another wept as I set off from our cottage, heading into the
mountains.
I walked and walked. Whenever I would have liked to sing I counted sheep instead. After a day I could no longer smell the sea. On the third day I immersed myself in a mountain lake, and when I
stepped out I was white as the wind. I wound wild roses in my hair. Men who passed me on the road turned their heads to stare. It was all true, the witch had done what she promised. By the time I
reached the city I had no more fear. I sold all I had for a new dress that reached to the ground whispering as I walked. Power was ringing through my lovely body: what need had I of words?
I found him easily, by walking down the street of merchants to the tallest house and sitting on the steps. After a while he came out with his father. As soon as he saw me he laughed. He said
something to his father, and ran down to help me up. My feet were like raw meat, but my smile held his eyes. He was just as I had remembered. It was I who had changed. When he offered me his hand,
I felt completely new.
He was sure he’d seen me somewhere before. I was a puzzle to him. After a few days he began to call me his little foundling; how the words were sweet to my ear. He didn’t seem to
mind that I answered all his questions with kisses. He gave me silk slippers for my feet, and a huge velvet cushion
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