Lawmakers by Tressie Lockwood, Dahlia Rose Page A

realize what she wanted was for Santi to stay and Brent to go. Brent had said what she needed was to have her feet on the ground and not live in a fantasy that Santi created. Seriously though, who gave him the right to determine what she needed? Was what Santi offered a fantasy, and if it was, so what? Why couldn’t she live a fantasy? The thought of it seemed incongruent with the life she had led up until now. Yet, she couldn’t trust Santi not to toss her aside as he did in the past. He hurt her so badly, and she might not be able to recover again.
    She uttered a low, bitter laugh at what he had said, that if she didn’t love him, he would win her heart again. He couldn’t be serious. Didn’t love him? She had never stopped, not once. That was the fantasy. Once given, she could not reclaim her heart no matter how hard she tried. Why him? Why not Brent who had been there? She had asked herself that question a million times with no satisfactory answer.
    I love Santi. I love him so much, and I can’t stop, unless…
    Could she stop if she married Brent? That would be unfair to him, but not if she gave him her all and devoted her life to being the best wife a man could ask for. Nausea roiled in her stomach. She clutched it. The two men stopped speaking, and both looked at her. Brent’s baby blue eyes burned with indignation. Santi’s topaz ones turned in an instant from anger to soft and inviting when he looked at her.
    “I…” she began and shut her eyes to block them out. “I need you to get out, Santi. Please, I’m begging you. Go now.”
    “Is that what you really want, cariño?”
    Her knees dipped, but she locked them. “Yes.”
    His steps whooshed on the carpet as he moved. The door opened and closed with a click. She let out a small cry, and her legs gave. Strong arms encircled her, and she let her head fall against Brent’s shoulder.
    “You chose me,” he whispered in her ear. “I’m so glad, Della. I love you. We’ll get married right away, nothing fancy. We’ll keep it simple.”
    She shook her head on his shoulder and then pushed up to face him. “No.”
    Confusion settled in his expression. “What? You want a big wedding?”
    “No, I’m not going to marry you,” she said. “Up until a minute ago, I decided I would, but I can’t. I don’t love you, Brent. Not like that, not like your wife should love you. I love Santi. There I said it.”
    He scowled. “That fucktard left you.”
    “Watch your mouth!”
    He flared his nostrils but settled down. They sat in silence a few moments, Della’s attention on her hands. She struggled wit her emotions, so it took a while to realize Brent fought with his too. He sniffed, and she looked up at him. To her shock and utter despair, tears rolled down his face, and his eyes had turned red. She’d have to be blind not to see the deep love reflected on her poor friend’s face.
    “I love you so much, Della.”
    “Oh, Brent.”
    He scrubbed at the tears with his middle, ring finger, and thumb. Della reached out to him, but he shook his head. After a few minutes he pulled himself together.
    She turned away from him and clutched her hands on her lap. “I’m not marrying him either. Santi has nothing to do with you and me. I just want to be honest with you, Brent.”
    “I know.”
    “He kissed me when he came today.”
    “I forgive you.” His voice was thick, but the tears had dried.
    She raised an eyebrow at him. “Anyway, what I’m saying is you and I can never be anything but friends. I’m so, so sorry, but that’s it. No maybes, no nothing. In fact… I feel like I need to take a long break from you.”
    “Della, don’t do this! I’m sorry. I was out of line today. I admit that.” He reached for her hands, but she moved out of reach.
    “I wish I could love you the way you want me to. To tell the truth, it would all be so much easier. I just can’t. You see, I don’t want my feet on the ground.”
    He blinked.
    “What I’ve been