Leaving Lancaster by Kate Lloyd Page B

home. Nathaniel directed him around the side of his house to the barnyard.
    I hopped out—a long way for a shorty like me. Gathering my courage, I stroked the horse’s rump, then moved to his neck to feel his smooth, moist hair, the warmth traveling up my arm.

CHAPTER TWELVE
    Storing leftovers in the refrigerator, Esther listened to Greta coax her children up the stairs for naptime. Oh, how Esther adored the sound of their youthful voices. If only Holly got married and made her a grandmother. Grandchildren would finally bring Esther fulfillment, she was sure of it.
    She removed unused flatware and cups from the table. She hoped to keep her hands and mind occupied while Holly dallied with Nathaniel. What was taking them so long? She shouldn’t be aggravated, Esther told herself. But she was.
    She noticed Mamm open the refrigerator door and rearrange the leftovers Esther had just put away. Apparently Esther still couldn’t do anything right. Up to Mamm’s high standards, that is. Although Esther saw no logic in Mamm’s method of storing the vegetables next to the cottage cheese, nowhere close to the sour cream and yogurt. And her mother put cubes of butter in three locations.
    â€œI’ll scrape and wash the dishes,” Esther said. She flushed hot water into the sink, followed by a squirt of liquid soap.
    â€œNee, I always do the dishes,” Mamm said.
    If she could see Esther’s kitchen, its sink piled with soaking plates, she’d be shocked. Not to mention the empty soup and tuna cans. But no problem; Mamm would never visit Seattle.
    â€œYou didn’t eat much,” Mamm said. She closed the refrigerator door, then slipped the dishes into the sink. “Don’t ya like my cookin’ anymore?”
    â€œYes, as I mentioned before, it’s as tasty as ever.” Esther swiped the vinyl-covered table with a sponge. In truth, she felt like her taste buds had gone dormant. “Beth fed us breakfast this morning. And I’ve gained some unwelcome weight recently.” She attempted to lighten the mood by adding, “Either that or my skirt’s waistband is shrinking.” Who needed a diet? With her jangled nerves, if she ate every meal in this kitchen, Esther would be down to a size eight lickety-split.
    â€œDon’t go blaming your measly appetite on Beth.”
    Esther wished she hadn’t brought up Beth’s name and vowed not to repeat it. If all went well, their paths wouldn’t cross again. Ever.
    â€œ Now, what was I doin’?”Leaving the dishes in the sink, Mamm set about transforming the kitchen back to its tidy self. Decades had evaporated, but her insistence on tidiness and order persevered. Esther wondered if her mother wanted a woman-to-woman talk now that they were alone. Did she expect Esther to do the listening, as if she were still an obedient child? For better or worse, Esther was a completely changed person and used to speaking her mind.
    Over the years, Esther’s letters had stated emphatically she had no intention of returning here. “If you want to see us, hop on the train to Seattle,” Esther had written, knowing the trip would never happen. Esther recalled she’d sent Mamm Holly’s graduation picture and several others. Had Mamm tossed them in the fireplace? Well, Esther knew she’d plunked Mamm in the impossible position of disobeying the Ordnung, the rules passed down from generation to generation, by which Old Order Amish must live, especially with Isaac being a preacher.
    And now here Esther was, in spite of all her refusals to return—because Mamm had tricked her, feigning to be on her deathbed.
    Mamm minced around the room swabbing counters. She bent down to pick up an errant crumb, then straightened, her hand on the small of her back as if feeling a zap of discomfort. Was she putting on a show for Esther? Yes, Esther had been duped into coming to rescue her vigorously healthy