else and think only about him.
“Is something wrong?” I asked, as if I didn’t know the answer.
His eyes were piercing through my skin by now. Suddenly, it was not inside my head anymore, it wasn’t just some fantasy I can enjoy, but it was real and it was happening and it was happening right now…the fear and the excitement were both trying to get me to do things, and I couldn’t decide which side to pick. Without warning, I felt him coming closer, his hands touching my arm, and just when I know he was about to kiss me my instincts make me back off.
“I can’t,” I said lamely and my legs were shaking, the tremors felt like they might be reaching my entire body if I didn’t get out of the limo.
“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Thorne said. “But I was under the impression that you liked me.”
How could I tell him he doesn’t even know what he’s talking about! How could I explain how much I really wanted him! How I have been thinking about him!
“I do like you,” I said. “I just…I don’t think…”
“If you need more time, I understand. Or if you’re not completely over Nick—”
“That’s not it Thorne,” I said, a little annoyed that he thinks that. “I’m over him.”
At this he went quiet. He didn’t say anything but there was anger in his gaze. We said nothing throughout the ride. I couldn’t wait to get out. When finally the apartment building arrived we went our separate ways. I started crying my heart out the minute he was gone.
What was wrong with me?
This was supposed to be a good thing.
He was a nice guy!
Every guy is nice when you’re starting out. Nick was nice too, my brain argued.
I didn’t like my brain very much that moment but it was making a whole lot of sense, I had to agree.
I was scared.
I worked with this guy. Hell, I work for this guy. This wasn’t something I was supposed to do. I didn’t like the pressure. I just wanted something that was easier, something that didn’t require me thinking about the pros and cons all the time.
Yes, that was probably why I couldn’t go through with it. But another part of me can’t forget the heat that I felt inside that closed limo. Or the way it felt being close to Thorne inside his home and outside just hanging out that day. The way it felt just to be with him. The things we talked about, usual, trivial stuff normal people talk about but it all felt important somehow. Like every word, every gesture was a world on its own.
THORNE
It was the closest I had come to actually liking someone, the closest I had come to opening myself up to someone in years. I thought that part of me was over, that every relationship I would be in after that debacle that is my love life, I would be more careful about throwing my heart out there. But I couldn’t help that she made me feel this way, or that I kept picturing us having some kind of a future together. But things weren’t going to just happen because I pictured them to be a certain way, that wasn’t how life worked. I should have known she wasn’t ready to do this with me. Now I’d led myself into an awkward situation with someone I worked with and I didn’t even know how I was going to remedy that. I think I should stop thinking about her, stop getting excited every time she takes my name or comes close to me. I need to resist the urge to kiss her and make her want me even more.
I need to stop.
ELENA
After that episode, we didn’t run into each other for a while.
And I know that wasn’t a coincidence.
I tried to ignore Thorne and he had successfully been doing the same. But of course you can’t really ignore someone you are working with. I didn’t know what to do anymore. The one or two times I saw him now it was always awkward, always tense, always just incredibly odd and I was getting sick and tired of trying to keep up the act. I didn’t think I could do it any longer. But I still had time left in my employment and I
“Is something wrong?” I asked, as if I didn’t know the answer.
His eyes were piercing through my skin by now. Suddenly, it was not inside my head anymore, it wasn’t just some fantasy I can enjoy, but it was real and it was happening and it was happening right now…the fear and the excitement were both trying to get me to do things, and I couldn’t decide which side to pick. Without warning, I felt him coming closer, his hands touching my arm, and just when I know he was about to kiss me my instincts make me back off.
“I can’t,” I said lamely and my legs were shaking, the tremors felt like they might be reaching my entire body if I didn’t get out of the limo.
“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Thorne said. “But I was under the impression that you liked me.”
How could I tell him he doesn’t even know what he’s talking about! How could I explain how much I really wanted him! How I have been thinking about him!
“I do like you,” I said. “I just…I don’t think…”
“If you need more time, I understand. Or if you’re not completely over Nick—”
“That’s not it Thorne,” I said, a little annoyed that he thinks that. “I’m over him.”
At this he went quiet. He didn’t say anything but there was anger in his gaze. We said nothing throughout the ride. I couldn’t wait to get out. When finally the apartment building arrived we went our separate ways. I started crying my heart out the minute he was gone.
What was wrong with me?
This was supposed to be a good thing.
He was a nice guy!
Every guy is nice when you’re starting out. Nick was nice too, my brain argued.
I didn’t like my brain very much that moment but it was making a whole lot of sense, I had to agree.
I was scared.
I worked with this guy. Hell, I work for this guy. This wasn’t something I was supposed to do. I didn’t like the pressure. I just wanted something that was easier, something that didn’t require me thinking about the pros and cons all the time.
Yes, that was probably why I couldn’t go through with it. But another part of me can’t forget the heat that I felt inside that closed limo. Or the way it felt being close to Thorne inside his home and outside just hanging out that day. The way it felt just to be with him. The things we talked about, usual, trivial stuff normal people talk about but it all felt important somehow. Like every word, every gesture was a world on its own.
THORNE
It was the closest I had come to actually liking someone, the closest I had come to opening myself up to someone in years. I thought that part of me was over, that every relationship I would be in after that debacle that is my love life, I would be more careful about throwing my heart out there. But I couldn’t help that she made me feel this way, or that I kept picturing us having some kind of a future together. But things weren’t going to just happen because I pictured them to be a certain way, that wasn’t how life worked. I should have known she wasn’t ready to do this with me. Now I’d led myself into an awkward situation with someone I worked with and I didn’t even know how I was going to remedy that. I think I should stop thinking about her, stop getting excited every time she takes my name or comes close to me. I need to resist the urge to kiss her and make her want me even more.
I need to stop.
ELENA
After that episode, we didn’t run into each other for a while.
And I know that wasn’t a coincidence.
I tried to ignore Thorne and he had successfully been doing the same. But of course you can’t really ignore someone you are working with. I didn’t know what to do anymore. The one or two times I saw him now it was always awkward, always tense, always just incredibly odd and I was getting sick and tired of trying to keep up the act. I didn’t think I could do it any longer. But I still had time left in my employment and I
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