On Her Own by Wanda E. Brunstetter Page B

left them with no mother? Sure, her folks would step in and raise the boys, but because they were getting up in years, it would be difficult for them to take on such a big responsibility. Her four married sisters might be willing to take the boys, but two of them lived near Sweet Springs, and the other two had moved to Minnesota. It would be hard for the boys to move from the only home they’d ever known.
    Try not to worry , she admonished herself. As the book of Matthew states: “ ‘Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?’ ”
    Barbara turned away from Davey’s crib and tiptoed out of the room. She needed to turn the future of her sons over to God. She decided to go outside and enjoy the rest of the day.
    As soon as Barbara stepped onto the front porch, she spotted Paul sitting under a maple tree with Joseph nestled in his lap. Her heart nearly melted at the sight. He looked sonatural holding her son, and Joseph appeared as content as a cat lying in a patch of sun.
    I need to speak with Paul , she told herself. I need to apologize for my abruptness the other day .
    Barbara walked swiftly across the lawn before she lost her nerve.
    “Hi, Mama,” Joseph said with a wide smile. “Me and the harness man—I mean, Paul—we’re plannin’ a fishin’ trip.”
    Paul’s ears turned pink, and he gave Barbara a sheepish-looking grin. “Guilty as charged. I thought maybe next Saturday after I close the shop in the afternoon.”
    Before Barbara could respond, Joseph thumped the spot beside him. “Have a seat, and we’ll tell ya all about it.”
    Barbara knelt on the grass next to her son. “I’m all ears.”
    “I heard there’s some pretty nice catfish in the pond over by Ben Swartley’s place,” Paul said. “I thought it might be fun to take the boys fishing.” He motioned to Barbara. “You’re welcome to come along if you like.”
    The thought of going fishing was like honey in Barbara’s mouth. She hadn’t been on such an outing in over a year. Not since David had taken her and the boys to the pond for a picnic a few weeks before his death.
    “It sounds like fun,” she murmured. “But I couldn’t leave Davey that long.”
    “You wouldn’t have to,” Paul said. “You could bring the baby along.”
    Joseph nodded enthusiastically. “Jah, Mama. The boppli can come, too.”
    Barbara shook her head. “He can’t be in the sun all day.”
    “We could put up a little tent,” Paul suggested. “We’ll set his baby carriage inside, and he’ll be just fine.”
    Barbara had some netting in her sewing cabinet. Maybe she could drape it over the carriage to keep the bugs away, and if she put the carriage under the shade of a tree, it might work out okay. It would be nice to get away and do something fun. But did she really want to spend several hours alone with Paul? Of course , she reasoned, I wouldn’t really be alone with him. The boys will be there, too .
    “Can we go, Mama? Please?”
    She patted her son’s shoulder. “I’ll think on it. In the meantime, I’d like you to go find Aaron.”
    “What for? He don’t wanna play with me; he said so.”
    “Tell him I want to head for home soon.”
    Joseph’s lower lip protruded. “Aw, do we have to?”
    “Jah. I’m going back to the house to get Zachary and Davey in a few minutes, and I’d like you and Aaron to be ready to go.”
    The boy stood and squeezed Paul around the neck. It was obvious that he’d taken a liking to the man. And from the way Paul responded by grinning and patting Joseph on the back, Barbara was fairly sure the feeling was returned.
    As Joseph skipped away, Barbara searched for the necessary words. “I. . .uh. . .owe you an apology for the other day.”
    Paul’s eyebrows rose.
    “I shouldn’t have been so testy about Aaron’s black hands, and I didn’t mean to question your judgment. I hope you’ll accept my apology.”
    A slow smile spread across his face, and a familiar longingcrept