are. I know it’s not just at night. Would you let me smell what’s in that thermos you always carry around? That little “spa” your parents sent you to last summer? Please. You don’t want everyone to know you have a problem, do you?”
Her face colored a deep purple. “You don’t know shit, Clay Forbes. And you’ll be sorry you ever said that to me.”
She turned on her expensive high heel and stomped out of the Student Center.
Sixteen
Paige
Strolling toward the Student Center in the golden autumn sunshine on a real college campus, my college campus, made me want to pinch myself. When I woke up this morning, I suddenly knew something I hadn’t before.
I hadn’t known I’d been looking for Clay. The idea of having a man in my life had never even occurred to me since the fire; it wasn’t a necessity, not something essential I needed for my recovery. It wasn’t something I needed each day in order to trudge my way through life, like breath or pain medication, or Gillian.
But now I knew. I wasn’t sure what I knew, but I knew that whatever came next in my life, Clay was going to be a big part of it.
And the thought caused a smile to break out all over my body. I was smiling so hard that my bones ached.
“Hey,” Clay greeted me with open arms when I stepped into the Student Center.
I walked into his arms and was home again.
“Hey,” I whispered.
He held me back at arms length. “You okay?”
“Definitely okay,” I answered. “What do you want for lunch?”
“On, no you don’t,” he said, laughing. “I know better than that. You’re a girl. The right answer is, what do you want for lunch, sweetheart?”
I laughed. “Smart man. I just want a chicken sandwich.”
“Then let’s get you one,” he answered.
~**~
I floated back into the apartment I shared with Gillian on a fluffy white cloud. The cloud dissipated when I took a good look at Gill’s face.
“The report is in, Paige,” she said, getting straight to the point.
In place of my cloud, a butcher knife appeared to slice neatly through my happiness.
“What’d it say?” I asked, sinking down onto the couch with wooden limbs.
“I didn’t open it,” she answered. “It’s yours. But I’m here for you.”
I took the envelope from her hands. Almost a year later, and the investigators finally had an answer to my most burning question.
I unfolded the crisp white letter and began to read.
Dear Miss Hill,
Upon thorough investigation of the fire that destroyed your home, our team has concluded that the fire was incited through accidental means.
I breathed a deep, rattling sigh, and scanned the rest of the paperwork until I found what I was looking for.
Origin: upstairs bedroom, candle left on bed
I remembered absolutely nothing of the night that took my family’s life, but reading those words created a picture in my mind, a memory that wasn’t there before.
The paper fluttered to the floor, and my now-unconscious body followed.
Clay
“Clay, she needs you,” Gillian’s voice said into the earpiece.
I was already running out my front door and to my car when I saw Gillian’s name on the Caller ID.
“What happened?”
“How fast can you get here?”
“Gill, I’m on my way already. Two minutes, tops. Is Paige okay?”
“She will be. I just think you should—“ she paused, and I wanted to ram my hand through the phone and make her lips move.
“I just think she needs you,” she finished awkwardly. “See you soon.”
I threw the phone onto my passenger seat and focused on the front windshield to keep from focusing on anything else. All of the possibilities running through my brain were endless and pointless. I wouldn’t know anything until I got to Paige.
Pulling up to the complex, I sprinted as best I could with a limp up to Paige and Gillian’s apartment and burst through the door without knocking.
The living room was empty,
Her face colored a deep purple. “You don’t know shit, Clay Forbes. And you’ll be sorry you ever said that to me.”
She turned on her expensive high heel and stomped out of the Student Center.
Sixteen
Paige
Strolling toward the Student Center in the golden autumn sunshine on a real college campus, my college campus, made me want to pinch myself. When I woke up this morning, I suddenly knew something I hadn’t before.
I hadn’t known I’d been looking for Clay. The idea of having a man in my life had never even occurred to me since the fire; it wasn’t a necessity, not something essential I needed for my recovery. It wasn’t something I needed each day in order to trudge my way through life, like breath or pain medication, or Gillian.
But now I knew. I wasn’t sure what I knew, but I knew that whatever came next in my life, Clay was going to be a big part of it.
And the thought caused a smile to break out all over my body. I was smiling so hard that my bones ached.
“Hey,” Clay greeted me with open arms when I stepped into the Student Center.
I walked into his arms and was home again.
“Hey,” I whispered.
He held me back at arms length. “You okay?”
“Definitely okay,” I answered. “What do you want for lunch?”
“On, no you don’t,” he said, laughing. “I know better than that. You’re a girl. The right answer is, what do you want for lunch, sweetheart?”
I laughed. “Smart man. I just want a chicken sandwich.”
“Then let’s get you one,” he answered.
~**~
I floated back into the apartment I shared with Gillian on a fluffy white cloud. The cloud dissipated when I took a good look at Gill’s face.
“The report is in, Paige,” she said, getting straight to the point.
In place of my cloud, a butcher knife appeared to slice neatly through my happiness.
“What’d it say?” I asked, sinking down onto the couch with wooden limbs.
“I didn’t open it,” she answered. “It’s yours. But I’m here for you.”
I took the envelope from her hands. Almost a year later, and the investigators finally had an answer to my most burning question.
I unfolded the crisp white letter and began to read.
Dear Miss Hill,
Upon thorough investigation of the fire that destroyed your home, our team has concluded that the fire was incited through accidental means.
I breathed a deep, rattling sigh, and scanned the rest of the paperwork until I found what I was looking for.
Origin: upstairs bedroom, candle left on bed
I remembered absolutely nothing of the night that took my family’s life, but reading those words created a picture in my mind, a memory that wasn’t there before.
The paper fluttered to the floor, and my now-unconscious body followed.
Clay
“Clay, she needs you,” Gillian’s voice said into the earpiece.
I was already running out my front door and to my car when I saw Gillian’s name on the Caller ID.
“What happened?”
“How fast can you get here?”
“Gill, I’m on my way already. Two minutes, tops. Is Paige okay?”
“She will be. I just think you should—“ she paused, and I wanted to ram my hand through the phone and make her lips move.
“I just think she needs you,” she finished awkwardly. “See you soon.”
I threw the phone onto my passenger seat and focused on the front windshield to keep from focusing on anything else. All of the possibilities running through my brain were endless and pointless. I wouldn’t know anything until I got to Paige.
Pulling up to the complex, I sprinted as best I could with a limp up to Paige and Gillian’s apartment and burst through the door without knocking.
The living room was empty,
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