Pinned Up (Pinned Up Trilogy) by C. Michelle Page A

birthday. I was left behind the bleachers almost naked, beat, full of blood, and too weak to get up. I don’t know how long I remained in that position, but it seemed like forever. Eventually, a boy my age saw me and ran to me. He took off his jacket and covered me up. He was going to run off and call the police for me, but I begged him not to. I’m not sure why, I just knew I wasn’t ready to speak with the police. He helped me get up and provided me with support as I got dressed. He wrapped his arm around my waist and walked me home down that dreadful hill in silence.” I pause for a moment, allowing my words to sink in.
    “So, that’s why you’re so terrified of going down steep hills. They remind you of that dreaded day.” Josh murmurs to himself.
    I lightly nod and proceed retelling my past. “I was thankful he allowed me to cry in peace. When we reached my house, he asked if there was anything he could do. I couldn’t speak or face him. I entered my house, locked the door, and fell to the floor. The feeling of disgust and repulsion was intolerable. I remained in that position for several hours. I have never felt so violated. I trusted the boy who I helped out at school and befriended. I couldn’t comprehend why he betrayed me, took advantage of my friendship, and set me up to get raped. I vowed never to trust anyone again so easily. When I realized that my mom was due to come home from work, I gathered up what was left of my will power and took a shower with my clothes still on. I felt so dirty, I couldn’t move, instead I cried uncontrollably. Slowly, I managed to take off my clothes and intensely tried to wash off the layers of filth I felt penetrated on every inch of my skin. That dirty sensation I tried so desperately to scrub off…wouldn’t. Exhaustion from crying and the endurance of such violence left me feeling spiritless. I fought against it and was ready to get out of the shower. I heard noise outside the bathroom door and realized my mom was home. Panic set in. I had to inform her and recreate that appalling scene all over again. I prayed for strength to endure the retelling of my horrific and traumatic experience.
    When my mother saw my swollen face, busted lip, and black eye, she lost all self-control. She cried hysterically, insisted on taking me to the hospital, asked what happened, and demanded to know who had done this to me. Tears I wasn’t aware I still had came rushing out. I knew I had to tell her, but couldn’t make myself repeat the heinous crime I had just undergone, so…I shut down completely. I couldn’t tolerate the thought of my mom looking at me different, just like everyone else. Between my sobs, I lied stating I had gotten into a fight and was jumped by three girls after school.”
    My body is steady and my face expressionless except for the traitorous tears that flow so easily from my eyes. I focus my sight on our beautiful scenery of the park with its palm trees. Josh attempts to hold my hand and bring me closer to him, but I stop him.
    No pity. I don’t deserve sympathy or comfort nor do I want it.
    “I’m so sorry you had to endure such inhumane abuse. If you don’t wanna talk about it anymore, you don’t have to. Just know that I’m here to listen and help you any way that I can. Do you want to continue?” He asks me cautiously. I can’t face him, but for some unfathomable reason, I want to continue shedding light onto my dark past.
    I close my eyes and slowly nod.
    “I refused to go to the hospital. I asked my mom not to make an issue of it at school. I reminded her it would be pointless since we were now officially on summer vacation. I asked her to simply transfer me to a different school. Reluctantly, she agreed.
    One day, towards the end of summer, I went to a doctor’s appointment with my mom due to severe stomach aches. I was informed by my pediatrician that I was pregnant. My whole world came to a halt and shock took over my body. My mom was in the