Rocked All Night (BBW New Adult Rock Star Romance) by Clara Bayard Page B
Authors: Clara Bayard
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I was sixteen and didn’t even know how to make friends anymore with people my own age. So, I’d graduated early in an accelerated program and left the country to find my fortune in Europe.
Even then, when I’d found a group to sing with, we weren’t friends. I was seventeen and the others in their early twenties. They wanted nothing to do with me offstage and I didn’t really mind. I spent my nights off writing my own songs and dreaming of the day I could play them for the world.
And now, that day is here. So while it spoke to a tiny bit of regret inside me for the normal life I never led, I couldn’t really feel sorry for myself. Everything I gave up, everyone I lost was worth it. Had to be worth it to get me here. About to start shows where I sang the songs I wrote. With a backing band I picked.
“…Multimedia component. Julia, what do you think?”
I shifted my attention back to the people in front of me. “Sure, I guess. As long as the smoke doesn’t obscure the screens too much, I don’t mind.”
“Wonderful.” The suit noted something on his tablet and went back to his list of boring things I didn’t give a shit about. Like, I still didn’t understand why I needed smoke machines and a giant screen and laser lights. But that’s part of the show. When fans pay so much money to see a concert in a stadium so big that every act is a tiny dot, they need to feel like they’re getting their money’s worth. So, I’d sing my little songs I wrote in my bathtub in front of what looked like a Fourth of July light show going off behind me. None of that mattered as long as I could sing.
“What about another wardrobe fitting? I’d like her to have three of each approved outfit, just to be safe.”
I rolled my eyes. “Laura, two is plenty. And I’ve had a million fittings already.”
“Yes, but Julia, you need to look your best. And,” she continued, allowing her gaze to pass over my bare leg, “We need to make sure nothing has changed, size-wise.”
“For fuck’s sake. Don’t you think I’d notice if I gained weight? I would say something.”
She sniffed. “Well, or lost. One might think with all the rehearsals and moving around.”
“I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Let’s move on.” My voice was clipped and tense.
“All right, I just…”
“Well, ladies,” suit guy interrupted. “I need to make a quick call. Do you mind?”
“Not at all,” my mother said, sweet as pie again.
“Won’t be a moment.” He grinned and walked out to the hallway, already talking into his phone.
“Mom, what the hell?”
“What? What have I done now?”
I groaned. “Do you have to bring up my weight every meeting? I’m not gaining. I’m not losing. I’m fine. Leave it alone.”
“Don’t be so sensitive. I’m just checking.”
“No,” I hissed. “You’re needling. And you can stop. It didn’t work when I started getting bigger at fifteen and it isn’t working now. This is my body. It’s how I look. Unless you want me to starve myself and die, you have to accept it.”
She waved a hand dismissively. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t have any problem with your body. Granted, I can’t really understand what happened. You were such a lean child and I come from thin people. Maybe it was the candy and…”
“Stop. We are not having this conversation. I look fine. I feel fine. I can sing and dance and jump and play just like all the other kids. No one needs a forklift to get me on stage so let’s just all be happy about that, okay?”
“Please. We’re just having a conversation. No need to get touchy.” She ignored my rude gesture as she continued to talk to herself, really. “I suppose being overweight could run in your father’s family.”
“Sure, how could you know? I don’t imagine you exchanged family health history before screwing in the back of his limo without a condom.”
“Julia Clark! Don’t you talk to me like that.” She seemed
Even then, when I’d found a group to sing with, we weren’t friends. I was seventeen and the others in their early twenties. They wanted nothing to do with me offstage and I didn’t really mind. I spent my nights off writing my own songs and dreaming of the day I could play them for the world.
And now, that day is here. So while it spoke to a tiny bit of regret inside me for the normal life I never led, I couldn’t really feel sorry for myself. Everything I gave up, everyone I lost was worth it. Had to be worth it to get me here. About to start shows where I sang the songs I wrote. With a backing band I picked.
“…Multimedia component. Julia, what do you think?”
I shifted my attention back to the people in front of me. “Sure, I guess. As long as the smoke doesn’t obscure the screens too much, I don’t mind.”
“Wonderful.” The suit noted something on his tablet and went back to his list of boring things I didn’t give a shit about. Like, I still didn’t understand why I needed smoke machines and a giant screen and laser lights. But that’s part of the show. When fans pay so much money to see a concert in a stadium so big that every act is a tiny dot, they need to feel like they’re getting their money’s worth. So, I’d sing my little songs I wrote in my bathtub in front of what looked like a Fourth of July light show going off behind me. None of that mattered as long as I could sing.
“What about another wardrobe fitting? I’d like her to have three of each approved outfit, just to be safe.”
I rolled my eyes. “Laura, two is plenty. And I’ve had a million fittings already.”
“Yes, but Julia, you need to look your best. And,” she continued, allowing her gaze to pass over my bare leg, “We need to make sure nothing has changed, size-wise.”
“For fuck’s sake. Don’t you think I’d notice if I gained weight? I would say something.”
She sniffed. “Well, or lost. One might think with all the rehearsals and moving around.”
“I’m fine. Everything’s fine. Let’s move on.” My voice was clipped and tense.
“All right, I just…”
“Well, ladies,” suit guy interrupted. “I need to make a quick call. Do you mind?”
“Not at all,” my mother said, sweet as pie again.
“Won’t be a moment.” He grinned and walked out to the hallway, already talking into his phone.
“Mom, what the hell?”
“What? What have I done now?”
I groaned. “Do you have to bring up my weight every meeting? I’m not gaining. I’m not losing. I’m fine. Leave it alone.”
“Don’t be so sensitive. I’m just checking.”
“No,” I hissed. “You’re needling. And you can stop. It didn’t work when I started getting bigger at fifteen and it isn’t working now. This is my body. It’s how I look. Unless you want me to starve myself and die, you have to accept it.”
She waved a hand dismissively. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t have any problem with your body. Granted, I can’t really understand what happened. You were such a lean child and I come from thin people. Maybe it was the candy and…”
“Stop. We are not having this conversation. I look fine. I feel fine. I can sing and dance and jump and play just like all the other kids. No one needs a forklift to get me on stage so let’s just all be happy about that, okay?”
“Please. We’re just having a conversation. No need to get touchy.” She ignored my rude gesture as she continued to talk to herself, really. “I suppose being overweight could run in your father’s family.”
“Sure, how could you know? I don’t imagine you exchanged family health history before screwing in the back of his limo without a condom.”
“Julia Clark! Don’t you talk to me like that.” She seemed
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