dwelled. The gears that clearly had a wrench tossed in them and he whispered to him. “Even if it’s only going to be for a short time.”
Maxum didn’t relax, he fell. His mind and emotions tumbling inside, into a wrecking ball of shit, because he did like Darko. No, it was more than a liking and he meant to respect him, as a man should be. As someone who he enjoyed being with should be, but he had not been truthful. He could change that now. “Ask.” He swallowed hard, because he knew it still wasn’t going to be easy.
“When you went back home to him, did you sleep with him as if nothing else had happened?”
Maxum let out a puff of air, unsure of how the question made him feel. His hand came up, landing on his head and raked through his hair until it was parked between head and pillow, where it stayed, as he stared up at the ceiling, looking for some teletype answer when there was none. Only he did feel some bizarre relief, because the answer wasn’t going to be as painful as he feared. Because at that very moment he knew, he didn’t want to hurt Darko. “I never slept with him at all.”
Darko reached for Maxum taking his jaw in his hand and pulled him around to look at him, their eyes meeting in the darkness. Lonely, pained eyes, “Not at all?”
Maxum shook his head slowly, the words came out drained almost lethargic and definitely defeated. “I tried to cuddle with him. I wanted to hold his hand. I wanted my relationship with my partner to feel like this. Connected. Only no matter how hard I try or look to have it there with him, I can’t find it. I want someone to be forever in my life. I’m an investor. I want my home and sex life to be the same as my money. I don’t want a stranger in my bed. I don’t want to start all over with a new face and new pet peeves every couple of weeks or months. I don’t do short term investments. I want the same man day in and day out to build and grow old with. And I failed.”
“Maybe it never existed? A shady investment. Or its life has perished? Company went belly-up. Or you found something that feeds your life better than anything else ever has before. A new up and coming company or idea that has the future in mind like green energy.” He paused in thought, pulling up more metaphors to fit, “Life changes around every bend. Investments have to have a flex fund, don’t they?” Darko dropped on the pillow, still looking at the man looking back. He would have laughed at himself for the analogy he’d just given. Frankly, he didn’t know squat about investments. On the other hand, he knew friends and family, so it was only matter of changing out a few words to turn it into Maxum St. Laurents laymen terms .
Maxum turned his eyes back up at the ceiling, his thoughts ironing out until the ticker tape in his head came out blank. While everything Darko said made sense. He still didn’t have a clue what to do with himself or the partnership that had given him no satisfaction in almost as many years as they had been together. Or with the man who laid at his side right now who had given him all he would have liked in those years in just a matter of two weeks. To top it all off, Darko made more sense in his prattling attempt to put things into perspective than any attempt Simeon might have ever made. Then again, he couldn’t think of a time when Simeon gave much concern for his thoughts. At least not lately. Okay, not in a long time.
Maxum tossed the disgruntled shit from his mind; repositioned and glanced at Darko and the face watching sideways from his pillow. “So what can I expect on our third date?”
A smile sprouted from the pillow, “Funny thing you should bring it up. Wanna take off with me this coming weekend?”
“It’s Thanksgiving weekend.” Maxum blinked at him at the unexpected holiday invite.
“Precisely, perfect time to get away from it all. Good food, lay around all day— I’ll let you take full advantage of me— or whatever
Maxum didn’t relax, he fell. His mind and emotions tumbling inside, into a wrecking ball of shit, because he did like Darko. No, it was more than a liking and he meant to respect him, as a man should be. As someone who he enjoyed being with should be, but he had not been truthful. He could change that now. “Ask.” He swallowed hard, because he knew it still wasn’t going to be easy.
“When you went back home to him, did you sleep with him as if nothing else had happened?”
Maxum let out a puff of air, unsure of how the question made him feel. His hand came up, landing on his head and raked through his hair until it was parked between head and pillow, where it stayed, as he stared up at the ceiling, looking for some teletype answer when there was none. Only he did feel some bizarre relief, because the answer wasn’t going to be as painful as he feared. Because at that very moment he knew, he didn’t want to hurt Darko. “I never slept with him at all.”
Darko reached for Maxum taking his jaw in his hand and pulled him around to look at him, their eyes meeting in the darkness. Lonely, pained eyes, “Not at all?”
Maxum shook his head slowly, the words came out drained almost lethargic and definitely defeated. “I tried to cuddle with him. I wanted to hold his hand. I wanted my relationship with my partner to feel like this. Connected. Only no matter how hard I try or look to have it there with him, I can’t find it. I want someone to be forever in my life. I’m an investor. I want my home and sex life to be the same as my money. I don’t want a stranger in my bed. I don’t want to start all over with a new face and new pet peeves every couple of weeks or months. I don’t do short term investments. I want the same man day in and day out to build and grow old with. And I failed.”
“Maybe it never existed? A shady investment. Or its life has perished? Company went belly-up. Or you found something that feeds your life better than anything else ever has before. A new up and coming company or idea that has the future in mind like green energy.” He paused in thought, pulling up more metaphors to fit, “Life changes around every bend. Investments have to have a flex fund, don’t they?” Darko dropped on the pillow, still looking at the man looking back. He would have laughed at himself for the analogy he’d just given. Frankly, he didn’t know squat about investments. On the other hand, he knew friends and family, so it was only matter of changing out a few words to turn it into Maxum St. Laurents laymen terms .
Maxum turned his eyes back up at the ceiling, his thoughts ironing out until the ticker tape in his head came out blank. While everything Darko said made sense. He still didn’t have a clue what to do with himself or the partnership that had given him no satisfaction in almost as many years as they had been together. Or with the man who laid at his side right now who had given him all he would have liked in those years in just a matter of two weeks. To top it all off, Darko made more sense in his prattling attempt to put things into perspective than any attempt Simeon might have ever made. Then again, he couldn’t think of a time when Simeon gave much concern for his thoughts. At least not lately. Okay, not in a long time.
Maxum tossed the disgruntled shit from his mind; repositioned and glanced at Darko and the face watching sideways from his pillow. “So what can I expect on our third date?”
A smile sprouted from the pillow, “Funny thing you should bring it up. Wanna take off with me this coming weekend?”
“It’s Thanksgiving weekend.” Maxum blinked at him at the unexpected holiday invite.
“Precisely, perfect time to get away from it all. Good food, lay around all day— I’ll let you take full advantage of me— or whatever
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