playing games and loving the googly eyes that I’ve been making at him all night and he’s just soaking in the attention or what. Whatever it is, I’m trapped in the whirlwind that is Kellen. His hands blanket mine and his chest is slightly touching my back. The skin of our forearms kiss. A bead of sweat trickles down my back. The touch is icy and for the first time, strangely I feel protected by him. Whether he knows it or not, I haven’t felt this connected to him in so long.
I’m seconds from crumbling like a stale cookie right before his feet. I wouldn’t even be embarrassed if I did. He guides the golf club back and the iron strikes the ball, spinning over the green felt, past the tiny boulders in its path, up the hilly curve and bullseye into the cup!
“It went in!” I scream in delight. Before I can jump in the air and do my victory slash happy dance, Kellen grabs me by the waist, spinning me around.
“I told you! I told you you’d be able to do it.” The feeling of victory is overwhelmed by the feeling of how it feels so safe and sound I feel in his arms. My arms clench around his broad, rippling shoulders and somehow, becoming swirled up in the moment, I wrap my legs around his waist. I cling to him, chest to chest and as we twirl around, it feels like slow motion and all moments from our childhood—the ones that float through my mind as still lay on my pillow staring up at the ceiling at night—appear before my mind’s eyes. And I pray this moment lasts forever, that he feels the same way as I do; that even when we stopped speaking, stopped being the closet of friends I crushed on him hard. Even when I was with Lucas, I kissed him, hoping, wishing, that it were Kellen’s lips on mine. And just as quickly as he holds me in his arms, he lets me down. But I don’t let him go and he doesn’t let me go. Our eyes are pad-locked onto one another. Our faces are close, tiny moist breaths mixing between us.
He parts his lips and moistens them with his tongue. And my eyes trace every motion of it, my heartbeat now hurried.
“All this time and we still haven’t practiced our kiss,” I say breathless.
“I guess now is as good of a time as any,” he adds. I’m weightless in his arms and I bite the corner of my bottom lip.
We lean in slowly and time ceases to exist. This is the elusive moment that I’ve ached over for years.
My close my eyes, fading to black. I feel him lean in and an urgent need fills my bones.
“Excuse me guys,” says a voice from the landing above us startles me, stealing my breath away…what little breath I did have left in my lungs.
We uncoil our limbs from each other, a molten-hot moment, now awkward. Kellen looks at me with a wavering smile. “I guess it’s time to go.” He pulls his keys out of his back pocket and walks toward the inside, leaving me behind in a puddle of...something. I have actually no words to describe how I feel right now.
The only reason we hung out tonight was to polish our pretend relationship and make it believable. At this point I don’t know what to believe. I may be here because of a lot of different reasons: to make Lucas jealous, to get Ashley’s blood boiling to the point of an aneurysm or the reason that pounds my skull; that I think I’m falling in love with Kellen Murdock and I don’t want to lose him this time.
Chapter 14
I sprint down the stairs with an umbrella and a jacket under my arm. The forecast says to expect a spritzing of rain. No way I’m getting my hair frizzy and wrecking my makeup for a football game, no matter how much I want Kellen and the team to win.
I dart for the door, but not without my Mom catching me.
“So you’re not going to tell me why you’re not going out with Lucas anymore?” my Mom says from the couch. She says this nonchalantly tucked into the corner of the couch, the top half of her body shielded behind the newspaper she’s reading.
How did you know that?” I ask stuttering. Wow,
I’m seconds from crumbling like a stale cookie right before his feet. I wouldn’t even be embarrassed if I did. He guides the golf club back and the iron strikes the ball, spinning over the green felt, past the tiny boulders in its path, up the hilly curve and bullseye into the cup!
“It went in!” I scream in delight. Before I can jump in the air and do my victory slash happy dance, Kellen grabs me by the waist, spinning me around.
“I told you! I told you you’d be able to do it.” The feeling of victory is overwhelmed by the feeling of how it feels so safe and sound I feel in his arms. My arms clench around his broad, rippling shoulders and somehow, becoming swirled up in the moment, I wrap my legs around his waist. I cling to him, chest to chest and as we twirl around, it feels like slow motion and all moments from our childhood—the ones that float through my mind as still lay on my pillow staring up at the ceiling at night—appear before my mind’s eyes. And I pray this moment lasts forever, that he feels the same way as I do; that even when we stopped speaking, stopped being the closet of friends I crushed on him hard. Even when I was with Lucas, I kissed him, hoping, wishing, that it were Kellen’s lips on mine. And just as quickly as he holds me in his arms, he lets me down. But I don’t let him go and he doesn’t let me go. Our eyes are pad-locked onto one another. Our faces are close, tiny moist breaths mixing between us.
He parts his lips and moistens them with his tongue. And my eyes trace every motion of it, my heartbeat now hurried.
“All this time and we still haven’t practiced our kiss,” I say breathless.
“I guess now is as good of a time as any,” he adds. I’m weightless in his arms and I bite the corner of my bottom lip.
We lean in slowly and time ceases to exist. This is the elusive moment that I’ve ached over for years.
My close my eyes, fading to black. I feel him lean in and an urgent need fills my bones.
“Excuse me guys,” says a voice from the landing above us startles me, stealing my breath away…what little breath I did have left in my lungs.
We uncoil our limbs from each other, a molten-hot moment, now awkward. Kellen looks at me with a wavering smile. “I guess it’s time to go.” He pulls his keys out of his back pocket and walks toward the inside, leaving me behind in a puddle of...something. I have actually no words to describe how I feel right now.
The only reason we hung out tonight was to polish our pretend relationship and make it believable. At this point I don’t know what to believe. I may be here because of a lot of different reasons: to make Lucas jealous, to get Ashley’s blood boiling to the point of an aneurysm or the reason that pounds my skull; that I think I’m falling in love with Kellen Murdock and I don’t want to lose him this time.
Chapter 14
I sprint down the stairs with an umbrella and a jacket under my arm. The forecast says to expect a spritzing of rain. No way I’m getting my hair frizzy and wrecking my makeup for a football game, no matter how much I want Kellen and the team to win.
I dart for the door, but not without my Mom catching me.
“So you’re not going to tell me why you’re not going out with Lucas anymore?” my Mom says from the couch. She says this nonchalantly tucked into the corner of the couch, the top half of her body shielded behind the newspaper she’s reading.
How did you know that?” I ask stuttering. Wow,
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