Satan Burger by Iii Carlton Mellick Page A

teeth.  Its appearance is meant to be scary .  Once he touches them, they turn into demons and spend most of their time scaring people.  This is how humans believed demons looked, but they were mistaken.  Only few demons were made in this style.  All of them are dead now.  The majority of demons are pieces of furniture or doors or tools.
    The demons in Satan Burger are all sleeping on their backs, or stirring quietly in the kitchen.  The draining feeling of an endless night seeping into a stale morning has gotten into us all.  Even the furniture-demons need rest.
    Gin, Nan, and Vodka have left for home.  They used a teleportation device - a satanic device - to travel back to the warehouse.  The device looks similar to a piece of candy corn.  When you touch the yellow butt, a door shoots out of the white tip.  And you can go anywhere you want through that door, if you program it right.  Satan has programmed the door so that all of us can get between the warehouse and the restaurant with no trouble or time wasted.
    Vodka found the teleporting door very interesting, but nobody else seemed to care.  Doors are doors, no matter how unusual or magical they might seem.  Everyone else said, "That’s a very convenient door," but nothing else.  The door looks even more bizarre than the candy corn remote for it.  It’s made of energy, orange colors that swirl all around, which is why Vod likes it.  He’s into bizarre-looking things.  He’s a bizarre-looking thing himself.
    Gin, Nan, and Vodka went to sleep.  Their shift is in the morning and they’ll have to work all day collecting souls from unsuspecting customers.  Mort, Christian, and I have the later shift, so it’s not necessary for us to go to sleep right away.  My body is getting awfully tired, though, so I let it sleep.  But my vision stays awake, soaring into the air above, hovering over Satan and Christian.  Neither one of them have tired.  Christian doesn’t wear down easily, going for days at a time without sleep.  He has started on another bottle of gold liqueur, soon to be gritty-mad drunk.  This brand is called Gold Rush , the second best brand you can buy.  Fool’s Gold is piss compared to Gold Rush.
               Christian and Satan are drinking and smoking with each other’s company.  Satan is drinking a beer from a living bottle - the bottle’s beer is its blood, so Satan is bleeding it to death - but the bottle can’t complain. Satan is its master, after all.

              
               Satan gets to talking about where he came from.  First, he first mentions his father, Yahweh, who is God.
               Yahweh’s main job is to create things.  It is the job that all gods are paid to do.  There is a god inside every living star.  Within our sun, there is Yahweh.  He is not in our dimension, however.  If God was in our dimension, the sun’s fire stomach would burn Him up.
               Inside of the god dimension, a sun looks like a shopping mall, where the temperature is always perfect, and there are plenty of benches to sit on near fountains and plants.  Some people call this shopping mall Heaven .
               Inside of the shopping mall, God creates all of his creations. 
               The first thing Mr. Yahweh ever created was a small table.  It was not a very good table.  The legs were not evenly cut and it wobbles when you touch it.  Near the center of the shopping mall, you can still go and see it on display.  It’s a good example of how nobody is perfect, not even God.
               Satan was the first intricate structure Yahweh ever made.  Satan was the first angel.  An angel is the same as a human, only it’s born in the dimension where gods live.  They also get special powers.  Some angels have the power to fly.  Others can see in the dark, or read minds, or run really fast.  Satan has the touch of life.  Satan was God’s