help from Wade.
“Just breath, slowly and steadily. Listen to my voice. It will guide you back to your body once you fall asleep.”
My body was stiff with tension. Sleep seemed impossible. “I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
“What we think and what we do are sometimes very different things.” Marie sounded unconcerned. “Dreamwalking has benefits. If you develop your awareness, you can learn many useful skills. You can even gain the knowledge of your ancestors.”
A flash of canine fangs. The tear of flesh under my teeth. I shifted on the bed. My heart rate increased. Maybe I didn’t want to know the things my ancestors did. From the little bit of information my mother had told me, wolven history was a bloody mess.
“I’m going to cleanse your spirit, prepare you for the journey.” Though my eyes were closed, I could picture Marie in the room. I was outside my body and looking down on us. Me looking peaceful, rested, and Marie holding the pointed end of a bundle of sweetgrass to the candle’s solid flame. The herbs began to smolder. She guided the smoke over my body in slow, sweeping motions.
“Imagine the smoke passing through you, cleansing, removing the negative energy trapped in your body.”
All this talk of energy and spirits had me biting my tongue. The last thing I needed was a dream-walking, pissed-off Marie, because I told her she sounded like a flake.
The fragrant aroma filled my nostrils, my lungs. I exhaled slowly as if I’d just dodged a silver bullet and couldn’t believe I was still alive. I was in the presence of grace. Pretty heady stuff.
“Let my voice guide you. For this test I want you to do one simple thing. The moment you realize you’re in a dream, wake yourself up. If you see something impossible, something unreal, wake up. But for now, sleep, Eryn, sleep.”
My heart resumed its normal beat, then slowed. The bed beneath me spun. I was slipping away, losing control. Fading.
Lovely. Alec’s mom had just gotten me stoned.
I gasped, fighting the pull to that other place. I sat upright. My eyes flashed open.
The room was aglow in candlelight. Marie was sitting in a wooden chair beside my bed. Her lips twisted with disappointment, when I slid my legs off the mattress, a direct indication I was done with lying around.
“I guess it didn’t work,” I said. “But at least we tried, right?” I walked to the window and stretched, my muscles knotted with tension. My athame’s leather holster rubbed against my skin. I pushed back the lace curtains. The moon was high in the starry sky. “At least I got in a snooze. I haven’t been sleeping much lately. What time is it?” I turned to face Marie, expecting her to be still seated in the chair. But she stood a few feet away.
Cheeks hollow, mouth gaping. Her eyes rolled back in her head.
Really not a great look.
She groaned and lurched forward. A billow of sour gas hit me as her breath struck my face. Her arms raised, floating in front of her, reaching for me.
“Or,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “Maybe it worked after all.”
I dove under Marie’s arm and unsheathed my athame, moonlight glinting on the jagged silver blade. Marie whirled, bones snapping in her face as fangs filled her mouth, her nose and upper lip elongated. She was shifting.
Like a werewolf.
Like wolven.
Like me.
“Get it together, Eryn,” I said, swallowing back fear. “She’s not real.” I stabbed my athame in the air, inches from Marie’s bestial visage. “You’re not real, you hear me? This is just a dream.”
But I was supposed to do something.
A cool wind swirled up from the wooden floorboards. The candle’s flame dipped, and then rose steady once more.
Eryn, wake up . Mint tinged the air.
My vision darkened. I blinked hard to refocus. Marie was no longer a mass of flesh and fur. She was herself again. Fully human. About to take me down.
“My son dies because of you.” Marie’s voice was clipped, none of the Zen shaman about her now. She was
“Just breath, slowly and steadily. Listen to my voice. It will guide you back to your body once you fall asleep.”
My body was stiff with tension. Sleep seemed impossible. “I don’t think that’s going to happen.”
“What we think and what we do are sometimes very different things.” Marie sounded unconcerned. “Dreamwalking has benefits. If you develop your awareness, you can learn many useful skills. You can even gain the knowledge of your ancestors.”
A flash of canine fangs. The tear of flesh under my teeth. I shifted on the bed. My heart rate increased. Maybe I didn’t want to know the things my ancestors did. From the little bit of information my mother had told me, wolven history was a bloody mess.
“I’m going to cleanse your spirit, prepare you for the journey.” Though my eyes were closed, I could picture Marie in the room. I was outside my body and looking down on us. Me looking peaceful, rested, and Marie holding the pointed end of a bundle of sweetgrass to the candle’s solid flame. The herbs began to smolder. She guided the smoke over my body in slow, sweeping motions.
“Imagine the smoke passing through you, cleansing, removing the negative energy trapped in your body.”
All this talk of energy and spirits had me biting my tongue. The last thing I needed was a dream-walking, pissed-off Marie, because I told her she sounded like a flake.
The fragrant aroma filled my nostrils, my lungs. I exhaled slowly as if I’d just dodged a silver bullet and couldn’t believe I was still alive. I was in the presence of grace. Pretty heady stuff.
“Let my voice guide you. For this test I want you to do one simple thing. The moment you realize you’re in a dream, wake yourself up. If you see something impossible, something unreal, wake up. But for now, sleep, Eryn, sleep.”
My heart resumed its normal beat, then slowed. The bed beneath me spun. I was slipping away, losing control. Fading.
Lovely. Alec’s mom had just gotten me stoned.
I gasped, fighting the pull to that other place. I sat upright. My eyes flashed open.
The room was aglow in candlelight. Marie was sitting in a wooden chair beside my bed. Her lips twisted with disappointment, when I slid my legs off the mattress, a direct indication I was done with lying around.
“I guess it didn’t work,” I said. “But at least we tried, right?” I walked to the window and stretched, my muscles knotted with tension. My athame’s leather holster rubbed against my skin. I pushed back the lace curtains. The moon was high in the starry sky. “At least I got in a snooze. I haven’t been sleeping much lately. What time is it?” I turned to face Marie, expecting her to be still seated in the chair. But she stood a few feet away.
Cheeks hollow, mouth gaping. Her eyes rolled back in her head.
Really not a great look.
She groaned and lurched forward. A billow of sour gas hit me as her breath struck my face. Her arms raised, floating in front of her, reaching for me.
“Or,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “Maybe it worked after all.”
I dove under Marie’s arm and unsheathed my athame, moonlight glinting on the jagged silver blade. Marie whirled, bones snapping in her face as fangs filled her mouth, her nose and upper lip elongated. She was shifting.
Like a werewolf.
Like wolven.
Like me.
“Get it together, Eryn,” I said, swallowing back fear. “She’s not real.” I stabbed my athame in the air, inches from Marie’s bestial visage. “You’re not real, you hear me? This is just a dream.”
But I was supposed to do something.
A cool wind swirled up from the wooden floorboards. The candle’s flame dipped, and then rose steady once more.
Eryn, wake up . Mint tinged the air.
My vision darkened. I blinked hard to refocus. Marie was no longer a mass of flesh and fur. She was herself again. Fully human. About to take me down.
“My son dies because of you.” Marie’s voice was clipped, none of the Zen shaman about her now. She was
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