See You in Hell (Mel Goes to Hell Series Book 2) by Demelza Carlton Page B
Authors: Demelza Carlton
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looks like they've given us the worst job they can think of – ah, it'll be easy for a couple of angels, you'll see. Welcome to HELL. It's not too bad, once you get used to it."
Gabi shrugged. "I probably won't be here that long."
The phone rang and Gabi answered it, turning away. She looked pained.
Mel's phone rang, too, so she took a deep breath and answered it. "Good morning, HELL Corporation. How may I help?"
"This is shit."
Mel fought not to laugh. "What is, sir?"
"The new changes to the laws. We're the Cane Toad Action Group and according to the new animal welfare laws, we can't kill any animal in the State without it being done by an authorised veterinarian. It's BULLSHIT."
Mel agreed with him so she tried to be soothing. "Surely that can't be right. I'm sure the new animal welfare laws were only changed to… 'better protect native species, pets and stock.'" She read the list quickly off the front of the brochure, hoping he wouldn't notice her hesitation.
"Well someone better fix this then, because I'm not going to get a vet to personally kill a thousand cane toads. First, I'm going to ring my mate, who's a reporter with Channel Six. Then, I'm going to put the buggers in a bag and gas them the same as we always do…and you can tell your fucking policy people they're stupid!" The irate man hung up.
Mel made a note of the man's point and picked up the brochure with a sigh. Surely no one could write legislation that protected cane toads from being killed. They were a noxious pest that had to be neutralised on sight…
The phone rang again. This time the enquirer was female. "I have a question about the new laws."
Please don't let it be about cane toads, Mel prayed.
The woman's voice shook. "I have a redback spider in my house and I'm terrified it will bite my dog or me, but my neighbour told me that the new laws mean I can't kill it. I can't afford to get a vet out here to do it. What do I do? I don't want it to kill me…"
Mel privately thought she would have preferred cane toads. "I'm sure the laws don't cover redback spiders. You just spray it, squish it or shift it outside, like you would normally."
The woman sniffled as she agreed to do what Mel said, before ending the call.
Gabi was looking at Mel as she hung up. "So, what's the deal with this legislation?" Mel asked, feeling that she'd been dropped into something she hadn't agreed to.
Gabi's expression darkened. She reached for Mel's brochure, flipping quickly through the pages. "The animal rights activists managed to push through this new legislation, which apparently applies to 'all non-human animals in the state' where they must die a humane death, as administered by an authorised vet. The first query I got was about rats, the next was about fishing…and the list just grows. Apparently you can't kill the fish you've caught without a vet, you can't poison rats, can't spray flies and your pet fish can't die of natural causes…and whoever wrote this isn't living in the real world."
Mel started to laugh. "Well, they'll just have to change it to say some animals are exempt from the law, right?"
Gabi shook her head. "They probably will, but it won't be today. Until they do, we'll be dealing with all the questions."
"Excuse me, ladies," a sleazy voice said.
Don't let it be Luce, Mel prayed. The last thing she needed was for Gabi to positively identify him as Lucifer and throw the office into chaos.
Both Gabi and Mel looked up, eyebrows raised.
"I couldn't help but overhear," the stranger said smoothly, "but is it true that the new legislation is a little, ah, problematic and short-sighted?"
Mel found this smarmy stranger familiar. "Legislation is law. What else it is I'd say is up to the policy makers who have to deal with it." She looked hard at him. "Can I help you?"
"I'm from Channel Six news and I've come to interview your CEO about the new legislation. He's expecting me." He grinned greasily at Mel.
She suppressed a shudder, changing
Gabi shrugged. "I probably won't be here that long."
The phone rang and Gabi answered it, turning away. She looked pained.
Mel's phone rang, too, so she took a deep breath and answered it. "Good morning, HELL Corporation. How may I help?"
"This is shit."
Mel fought not to laugh. "What is, sir?"
"The new changes to the laws. We're the Cane Toad Action Group and according to the new animal welfare laws, we can't kill any animal in the State without it being done by an authorised veterinarian. It's BULLSHIT."
Mel agreed with him so she tried to be soothing. "Surely that can't be right. I'm sure the new animal welfare laws were only changed to… 'better protect native species, pets and stock.'" She read the list quickly off the front of the brochure, hoping he wouldn't notice her hesitation.
"Well someone better fix this then, because I'm not going to get a vet to personally kill a thousand cane toads. First, I'm going to ring my mate, who's a reporter with Channel Six. Then, I'm going to put the buggers in a bag and gas them the same as we always do…and you can tell your fucking policy people they're stupid!" The irate man hung up.
Mel made a note of the man's point and picked up the brochure with a sigh. Surely no one could write legislation that protected cane toads from being killed. They were a noxious pest that had to be neutralised on sight…
The phone rang again. This time the enquirer was female. "I have a question about the new laws."
Please don't let it be about cane toads, Mel prayed.
The woman's voice shook. "I have a redback spider in my house and I'm terrified it will bite my dog or me, but my neighbour told me that the new laws mean I can't kill it. I can't afford to get a vet out here to do it. What do I do? I don't want it to kill me…"
Mel privately thought she would have preferred cane toads. "I'm sure the laws don't cover redback spiders. You just spray it, squish it or shift it outside, like you would normally."
The woman sniffled as she agreed to do what Mel said, before ending the call.
Gabi was looking at Mel as she hung up. "So, what's the deal with this legislation?" Mel asked, feeling that she'd been dropped into something she hadn't agreed to.
Gabi's expression darkened. She reached for Mel's brochure, flipping quickly through the pages. "The animal rights activists managed to push through this new legislation, which apparently applies to 'all non-human animals in the state' where they must die a humane death, as administered by an authorised vet. The first query I got was about rats, the next was about fishing…and the list just grows. Apparently you can't kill the fish you've caught without a vet, you can't poison rats, can't spray flies and your pet fish can't die of natural causes…and whoever wrote this isn't living in the real world."
Mel started to laugh. "Well, they'll just have to change it to say some animals are exempt from the law, right?"
Gabi shook her head. "They probably will, but it won't be today. Until they do, we'll be dealing with all the questions."
"Excuse me, ladies," a sleazy voice said.
Don't let it be Luce, Mel prayed. The last thing she needed was for Gabi to positively identify him as Lucifer and throw the office into chaos.
Both Gabi and Mel looked up, eyebrows raised.
"I couldn't help but overhear," the stranger said smoothly, "but is it true that the new legislation is a little, ah, problematic and short-sighted?"
Mel found this smarmy stranger familiar. "Legislation is law. What else it is I'd say is up to the policy makers who have to deal with it." She looked hard at him. "Can I help you?"
"I'm from Channel Six news and I've come to interview your CEO about the new legislation. He's expecting me." He grinned greasily at Mel.
She suppressed a shudder, changing
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