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dominated by the billionaire
find the answers. This limbo we’re all in
is killing me, hurting them and I’m the only one who can get us out of
it. I just don’t know where to begin.
––––––––
L eslie found me mid-afternoon the
following Wednesday. I’d gotten to work early; sifted through the rubble on my
desk that I’d left behind the day before and managed to make a dent in my
overflowing inboxes, paper and email, respectively.
“Hey, you. Feeling better than
yesterday?” She set a large Styrofoam cup of coffee in front of me. She carried
a much smaller one in her other hand, obviously meant for herself. Apparently I
looked like I needed the industrial-sized coffee cup.
I glanced up quickly, motioning
her to sit down. “Just give me a minute, let me finish this.” I typed a
sentence, hit send and pushed the keyboard away.
The coffee smelled wonderful,
hazelnut mocha if I had to guess.
“What’s this for? Do I still look
like hell? Or whatever you said it was I looked like yesterday?” I’d left work
early, almost no sleep the night before. The last night I spent with Chase.
“ ‘Fifty shades of hell’ was what
you looked like the last time you pulled an all-nighter with Jake,” she replied
teasingly. “Yesterday you looked horrible after your all-nighter with Chase.”
She pushed the cup across the desk toward me.
“It’s an apology and a gift, all
rolled into one. I wasn’t really fair to you yesterday. This must be hard...this... situation .”
She waved her fingers in the air.
“Yeah, it is.” I took a swallow of
coffee, hot, caffeinated. Just what I needed.
“So, what’s next? You have a plan?
Something you can share? I know how big you are on secrets these days.” She
grinned at me over the edge of her coffee cup.
I set the cup down, watching the
steam drift from the coffee. More secretive than you know, Leslie.
“I don’t know, Leslie. It’s really
complicated.” I suddenly felt awkward discussing my relationships with Leslie
even though she was my closest friend. It felt like I was trading secrets.
Secrets both Jake and Chase had trusted with me.
Leslie nodded sympathetically,
settling down in her chair. “I can imagine.”
I took another fortifying swallow
of coffee. The chime of an incoming email distracted me for a moment. Leslie
was still watching me.
“Do you think if you talked about
it, it would be easier? I’m always here, Abby. You know that.”
I fidgeted in my chair. Did I
really want to go into all the details with Leslie? I felt a pang of guilt; for
Jake and Chase and their secrets. And a pang of guilt for my best friend,
because right now, I really needed her, needed to not feel so alone with this
situation.
“Leslie, this is hard. These guys
trusted me with their secrets, some pretty serious stuff. I don’t know...” I
played with my pen, drawing aimless circles on my notepad.
I looked up at her. And realized I
needed to talk about this, even if it was hard. To save my own sanity, maybe.
“There’s someone I think I need to
find. Jake had a sub before me. Her name is Jane.” I took a deep breath.
“She apparently had some kind of
breakdown while they were having a session, something triggered a memory of
abuse by her step-father.”
“What would happen in a session
that would do that? I thought you said these were safe sessions?”
I could see the concern on
Leslie’s face.
“They are safe; they should be
safe. But Jane was being disciplined by Jake; he was spanking her for
disobeying while in submissive role.”
Leslie scowled. “Wait. He was
spanking her? And she let him? I don’t get this.”
“I’ve been spanked. By both of
them.” My voice was low. “Once as discipline, by Jake. And once...” I hesitated,
my voice almost a whisper.
“And once by Chase...at the club.
The first time I saw him.”
Leslie’s scowl deepened. “Oh, Abby,
you’ve been holding out on me. You never told me that. Was it hard? I mean,
after Jake?”
I
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