the channels. “Do you want to order an adult movie?”
No, really, what is happening? “No, I’m good, thanks,” I say before sipping some more wine.
“You don’t like sex?”
I laugh nervously. She’s so blunt. I’m not sure if that’s a European thing or the wine. “You know Greg likes you. I can tell,” she says.
“We’re just friends,” I say, staring at the carpet.
“He just doesn’t do it for you. I understand.” Saskia turns off the TV. “It’s so boring up here. Do you want food or anything?”
“I’m not very hungry.”
“So you’re definitely not interested in Greg?” she asks.
“No. I’m not.”
Saskia leans in closer as she puts her glass on the table. Her breath smells of wine. “Then who are you interested in?” she asks calmly, scanning my face. I stare at her in shock, clutching my glass. Is she suggesting what I think she is? She smiles and says, “Well, go on and kiss me. I don’t mind.”
I let out a nervous squeak and Saskia laughs. She takes the glass from my hand and puts it on the table. “We’ll keep it between us, yeah?” she says, and I nod, dazed. She leans in and kisses me, tentatively at first, and I tremble a little before I respond. I close my eyes and try to lose myself in the kiss. Saskia makes me forget almost everything as she claims my mouth.
Wow.
I back away and she smiles sweetly. “Should we try again?” I don’t really know how to answer her, so I nod once more and she takes the lead again, slowing her pace. Just as I am hoping we can do this for hours, she breaks away. Laughing, she holds her hand up for a high five. “We are awesome!”
Um. Okay.
“Was I your first girl kiss?” she asks slyly.
I almost want to lie to her so she doesn’t feel disappointed. “No. There was someone over the summer,” I say. I can’t stop staring at her lips.
She bites her bottom lip. “Was she prettier than me?” Seriously?
“No. There’s no one prettier than you,” I admit. Anastasia was adorable, but no one I’ve met before has Saskia’s supermodel good looks.
“Was she better at kissing than I was?” I don’t know why she’s asking, but I’m willing to risk a bold answer. I lean in to kiss her this time and she moans. I nearly die.
“No,” I answer at last. That isn’t exactly true, because nothing can really compete with the feeling of a first kiss . . . but I’m pretty sure an entire garden of Georgia O’Keeffe flowers has bloomed to life in my chest.
Seventeen
When Ms. Taylor comes back to school I’m glad, because I thought I would finally have someone to talk to about my lurid encounter with Saskia. Only I was right, she and Mr. Harris have broken up. She doesn’t say so explicitly, but in all her classes she’s really upset and gets weepy about totally mundane things. We started reading
The Scarlet Letter
.
“So Hester has to wear a scarlet
A
because she commits the sin of adultery. But there aren’t any men wearing something to show their sins. I mean, let’s say a man said he was ready to take the next step in a relationship and then backed out because he felt ‘overwhelmed.’ That man should then wear a scarlet
C
for cowardice, don’t you think?” No one can look away from Ms. Taylor as she rants.
Ashley mouths the word
crazy
to Robert, and Ms. Taylor must see her. Ms. Taylor’s eye twitches and she walks over to Ashley. Ashley shrinks in her seat a little.
“Ashley, with all of your gifts of perception, I’m surprised you weren’t able to find all the grammatical errors in your paper.” Lisa and I look at each other. Maybe the Mr. Harris/Ashley affair is more than just a rumor after all.
Ms. Taylor walks back to her desk. “No homework tonight. You guys can go.” The class files out. Robert doesn’t even wait for the door to close before he starts laughing hysterically. I linger behind and approach Ms. Taylor’s desk.
“Do you need anything?” I ask.
“Oh, no Leila, thank you.
No, really, what is happening? “No, I’m good, thanks,” I say before sipping some more wine.
“You don’t like sex?”
I laugh nervously. She’s so blunt. I’m not sure if that’s a European thing or the wine. “You know Greg likes you. I can tell,” she says.
“We’re just friends,” I say, staring at the carpet.
“He just doesn’t do it for you. I understand.” Saskia turns off the TV. “It’s so boring up here. Do you want food or anything?”
“I’m not very hungry.”
“So you’re definitely not interested in Greg?” she asks.
“No. I’m not.”
Saskia leans in closer as she puts her glass on the table. Her breath smells of wine. “Then who are you interested in?” she asks calmly, scanning my face. I stare at her in shock, clutching my glass. Is she suggesting what I think she is? She smiles and says, “Well, go on and kiss me. I don’t mind.”
I let out a nervous squeak and Saskia laughs. She takes the glass from my hand and puts it on the table. “We’ll keep it between us, yeah?” she says, and I nod, dazed. She leans in and kisses me, tentatively at first, and I tremble a little before I respond. I close my eyes and try to lose myself in the kiss. Saskia makes me forget almost everything as she claims my mouth.
Wow.
I back away and she smiles sweetly. “Should we try again?” I don’t really know how to answer her, so I nod once more and she takes the lead again, slowing her pace. Just as I am hoping we can do this for hours, she breaks away. Laughing, she holds her hand up for a high five. “We are awesome!”
Um. Okay.
“Was I your first girl kiss?” she asks slyly.
I almost want to lie to her so she doesn’t feel disappointed. “No. There was someone over the summer,” I say. I can’t stop staring at her lips.
She bites her bottom lip. “Was she prettier than me?” Seriously?
“No. There’s no one prettier than you,” I admit. Anastasia was adorable, but no one I’ve met before has Saskia’s supermodel good looks.
“Was she better at kissing than I was?” I don’t know why she’s asking, but I’m willing to risk a bold answer. I lean in to kiss her this time and she moans. I nearly die.
“No,” I answer at last. That isn’t exactly true, because nothing can really compete with the feeling of a first kiss . . . but I’m pretty sure an entire garden of Georgia O’Keeffe flowers has bloomed to life in my chest.
Seventeen
When Ms. Taylor comes back to school I’m glad, because I thought I would finally have someone to talk to about my lurid encounter with Saskia. Only I was right, she and Mr. Harris have broken up. She doesn’t say so explicitly, but in all her classes she’s really upset and gets weepy about totally mundane things. We started reading
The Scarlet Letter
.
“So Hester has to wear a scarlet
A
because she commits the sin of adultery. But there aren’t any men wearing something to show their sins. I mean, let’s say a man said he was ready to take the next step in a relationship and then backed out because he felt ‘overwhelmed.’ That man should then wear a scarlet
C
for cowardice, don’t you think?” No one can look away from Ms. Taylor as she rants.
Ashley mouths the word
crazy
to Robert, and Ms. Taylor must see her. Ms. Taylor’s eye twitches and she walks over to Ashley. Ashley shrinks in her seat a little.
“Ashley, with all of your gifts of perception, I’m surprised you weren’t able to find all the grammatical errors in your paper.” Lisa and I look at each other. Maybe the Mr. Harris/Ashley affair is more than just a rumor after all.
Ms. Taylor walks back to her desk. “No homework tonight. You guys can go.” The class files out. Robert doesn’t even wait for the door to close before he starts laughing hysterically. I linger behind and approach Ms. Taylor’s desk.
“Do you need anything?” I ask.
“Oh, no Leila, thank you.
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