to…
you know, to Ginny… and she’s going to school somewhere in
Massachusetts now.”
“Mariah’s gone?”
Emily nods. “Like… my friend Jenna might
have her number.”
This isn’t going to help me find Liam. “I… I
think I can figure out how to reach Mariah if I need her. But
thanks, anyway.” Without waiting for a response, I walk down the
hallway and out of the building.
If I want to find Liam Norwell, it looks
like I’m going to have to bump into him on campus by chance.
13
I have the same roommate as last year, BJ
Landon. He’s a good guy, and was especially cool after the theater
shooting. He packed all of my stuff in our dorm room into cardboard
boxes and loaded them into Mom’s minivan so I wouldn’t have to come
back to the school and face things I wasn’t ready for.
But BJ is wild. W.I.L.D. And sure, I like to
have a good time, but I’m not all about crashing into my bed, or on
the floor in the vicinity of my bed as is often the case for BJ, in
a drunken stupor. Every night of the week.
It’s the first weekend since we’ve returned
to Batcheldor College, and BJ is growing crazier by the minute. For
the most part, all week I have steered clear of parties, as my
attitude toward learning, and maybe even toward life in general, is
much changed from last year. I’m a much more serious and focused
guy now. But BJ has pretty much begged me to hang out with him
tonight—there are three keg parties in RetroHouse alone that
he knows of—and a late night pizza bash with some freshman girls in
the basement.
I want to be excited about the parties and
the pizza and the girls, and to be lighthearted like BJ. I want to
be the uncomplicated college student I thought I could again be, or
at a minimum, impersonate. But the apathetic reaction I’ve had to
all the welcome-back parties and crazy coeds during the past week
lets me know that I’ll never again be able to pass for a fun,
easygoing guy.
“You’ve been hitting the books too hard this
week, Jase. And you know what they say about all work and no play,
don’t you?”
I laugh. “It makes Jase a dull boy, but also
a boy with straight A’s.”
“Here, drink this.” BJ hands me a shot of
something amber, and even though I’m not in the mood, I swig it
down. Apparently, I’m still something of a follower. “Now, word is
out that you’ve been looking for some senior dude. What’s the deal
with that?”
I certainly did put the word out this week.
I did everything short of hanging signs on trees that say LOST:
One Valiant Hero to let the Batcheldor community know that I’m
looking for Liam Norwell. I’m still not exactly sure what I’m going
to say to him, but I know I need to see him. Badly. Obsessively
badly. “The deal is that I want to see the guy who saved my
butt last year.”
I now have BJ’s attention. “This Norwell
dude saved you? In Harrison Theater?”
The police know what Liam did for me, but
the details have not gone public on campus. “Yeah. And I need to
talk to him.”
“Sure as shit you do! And after you guys
talk, you gotta get him bombed off his ass, that’s what you need to
do! You owe him that much….”
“BJ, I just want to talk to him, that’s
all.”
This first week back to school has been
almost as hard for me as the week after the two shootings, which
seems like a dramatic claim, but it’s true. I thought being back in
the college environment might tear me apart because of the
reminders of Ginny and of the shooting, but what’s tearing me apart
is knowing I messed everything up with Liam because I was confused…
because I wasn’t ready to see myself in a new, nontraditional, as
in possibly gay, way.
“Well, I know a few seniors, and I’ll tell
them to kidnap him and deliver him to our dorm room, then we can
treat him to one hell of a rowdy night—I might be able to score
some weed—and we can cap it off with a freshman girl happy
ending !”
I sigh in frustration, and the
you know, to Ginny… and she’s going to school somewhere in
Massachusetts now.”
“Mariah’s gone?”
Emily nods. “Like… my friend Jenna might
have her number.”
This isn’t going to help me find Liam. “I… I
think I can figure out how to reach Mariah if I need her. But
thanks, anyway.” Without waiting for a response, I walk down the
hallway and out of the building.
If I want to find Liam Norwell, it looks
like I’m going to have to bump into him on campus by chance.
13
I have the same roommate as last year, BJ
Landon. He’s a good guy, and was especially cool after the theater
shooting. He packed all of my stuff in our dorm room into cardboard
boxes and loaded them into Mom’s minivan so I wouldn’t have to come
back to the school and face things I wasn’t ready for.
But BJ is wild. W.I.L.D. And sure, I like to
have a good time, but I’m not all about crashing into my bed, or on
the floor in the vicinity of my bed as is often the case for BJ, in
a drunken stupor. Every night of the week.
It’s the first weekend since we’ve returned
to Batcheldor College, and BJ is growing crazier by the minute. For
the most part, all week I have steered clear of parties, as my
attitude toward learning, and maybe even toward life in general, is
much changed from last year. I’m a much more serious and focused
guy now. But BJ has pretty much begged me to hang out with him
tonight—there are three keg parties in RetroHouse alone that
he knows of—and a late night pizza bash with some freshman girls in
the basement.
I want to be excited about the parties and
the pizza and the girls, and to be lighthearted like BJ. I want to
be the uncomplicated college student I thought I could again be, or
at a minimum, impersonate. But the apathetic reaction I’ve had to
all the welcome-back parties and crazy coeds during the past week
lets me know that I’ll never again be able to pass for a fun,
easygoing guy.
“You’ve been hitting the books too hard this
week, Jase. And you know what they say about all work and no play,
don’t you?”
I laugh. “It makes Jase a dull boy, but also
a boy with straight A’s.”
“Here, drink this.” BJ hands me a shot of
something amber, and even though I’m not in the mood, I swig it
down. Apparently, I’m still something of a follower. “Now, word is
out that you’ve been looking for some senior dude. What’s the deal
with that?”
I certainly did put the word out this week.
I did everything short of hanging signs on trees that say LOST:
One Valiant Hero to let the Batcheldor community know that I’m
looking for Liam Norwell. I’m still not exactly sure what I’m going
to say to him, but I know I need to see him. Badly. Obsessively
badly. “The deal is that I want to see the guy who saved my
butt last year.”
I now have BJ’s attention. “This Norwell
dude saved you? In Harrison Theater?”
The police know what Liam did for me, but
the details have not gone public on campus. “Yeah. And I need to
talk to him.”
“Sure as shit you do! And after you guys
talk, you gotta get him bombed off his ass, that’s what you need to
do! You owe him that much….”
“BJ, I just want to talk to him, that’s
all.”
This first week back to school has been
almost as hard for me as the week after the two shootings, which
seems like a dramatic claim, but it’s true. I thought being back in
the college environment might tear me apart because of the
reminders of Ginny and of the shooting, but what’s tearing me apart
is knowing I messed everything up with Liam because I was confused…
because I wasn’t ready to see myself in a new, nontraditional, as
in possibly gay, way.
“Well, I know a few seniors, and I’ll tell
them to kidnap him and deliver him to our dorm room, then we can
treat him to one hell of a rowdy night—I might be able to score
some weed—and we can cap it off with a freshman girl happy
ending !”
I sigh in frustration, and the
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