screaming ‘NERD’.
‘ Let’s go,’ he said.
‘ Aren’t you going to get changed first?’
He shrugged. ‘What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?’
Where did I start with that? But I could fix that, I ’m sure. I walked into his room to find him something decent to wear. It looked like a war zone. I kicked aside magazines and pizza boxes and Coke bottles to clear a path then rummaged through the biggest pile of clothes and found a halfway decent pair of jeans. But, when I picked them up, the smell nearly made me hurl.
‘ When’s the last time you did laundry?’ I called out to him.
‘ The other day.’
‘ What day?’
‘ The weekend, remember when you came over and we watched Evil Dead.’
‘ That was three weeks ago. You pig.’ I walked into the lounge room and threw the jeans at him. ‘These things will be walking on their own soon.’
Craig looked up at me blankly. ‘Oh yeah, I spilt lasagne on them. I meant to wash them.’ Domestically, Craig wasn’t like people. More like a bear with furniture.
I shook my head and walked back to find him an outfit. The problem was, Craig ’s mum bought most of his clothes. Polo shirts and baggy jeans. Not exactly the thing you wear to a groovy bar. I really needed to go shopping for him.
‘ Do you own anything that isn’t nerdwear?’ I asked him.
‘ I am a nerd. I love being a nerd. I’m going in the Nerd Pride march. And what’s up with you anyway, Jules? Since when do you care about clothes and going out?’
I found a plain black t-shirt and some reasonably clean jeans.
‘Just put these on while I fix my makeup.’ I handed him the clothes and walked in the bathroom.
‘ Fix your makeup?’ Craig muttered to himself while I reapplied my lip gloss. I took the front section of my hair and folded it over, fringe-like, but I couldn’t get an idea of how it would look. I thought of asking Craig’s advice but that would be pointless. He hadn’t even noticed my makeover. I could shave all my hair off and he’d not even realise.
Craig had changed when I came out. I looked at him and sighed. He ’d tried but he just didn’t wear clothes well. I straightened his tee shirt, tried tucking it in then untucking it. I flattened his hair and mucked around. Nothing helped.
Suddenly, I couldn ’t see Craig in some flash café. It would be like one of those picture puzzles you do as a kid where you have to work out the thing that doesn’t fit. It would take a five year old a whole two seconds to realise that thing was Craig. We’d have a crap night out. He’d feel awkward and out of place and spend the whole time nagging to come home. Just because I’d been made over didn’t mean that Craig had to change. In fact, I think Craig was un-makeover-able.
I picked up the controller off the floor.
‘Why don’t you call Tony’s,’ I said, handing it to him. ‘I’ve decided to stay home.’
***
Beth and Imogen stared at me when I got the Bad Girls’ Club meeting.
‘ What’s up?’ I asked. When they didn’t answer me, I got paranoid. I covered my face with my hands. ‘Tell me.’
‘ It’s just... what’s with this look?’ asked Beth.
I ’d tried to do my makeup like she’d shown me but then I thought some black eyeliner would look good. And I had to wear my new skirt to show it off.
I turned to Imogen to get her reaction.
‘It’s… different,’ she said. ‘Dramatic.’
‘ Dramatic, my arse,’ said Beth. ‘With your pale skin, you look like a vampire and that lipstick does nothing for you. Juliette, subtlety is the key.’
She sighed as I sat down.
‘I think you should wash it off.’ She looked around the bar, which was empty except for a couple of old codgers sitting at the bar. ‘What if someone saw you looking like that? You didn’t go to work with all that stuff on your face, did you?’
She had to be kidding. I didn ’t look that bad. I half expected her to pull out a hanky and spit on it then start rubbing
‘ Let’s go,’ he said.
‘ Aren’t you going to get changed first?’
He shrugged. ‘What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?’
Where did I start with that? But I could fix that, I ’m sure. I walked into his room to find him something decent to wear. It looked like a war zone. I kicked aside magazines and pizza boxes and Coke bottles to clear a path then rummaged through the biggest pile of clothes and found a halfway decent pair of jeans. But, when I picked them up, the smell nearly made me hurl.
‘ When’s the last time you did laundry?’ I called out to him.
‘ The other day.’
‘ What day?’
‘ The weekend, remember when you came over and we watched Evil Dead.’
‘ That was three weeks ago. You pig.’ I walked into the lounge room and threw the jeans at him. ‘These things will be walking on their own soon.’
Craig looked up at me blankly. ‘Oh yeah, I spilt lasagne on them. I meant to wash them.’ Domestically, Craig wasn’t like people. More like a bear with furniture.
I shook my head and walked back to find him an outfit. The problem was, Craig ’s mum bought most of his clothes. Polo shirts and baggy jeans. Not exactly the thing you wear to a groovy bar. I really needed to go shopping for him.
‘ Do you own anything that isn’t nerdwear?’ I asked him.
‘ I am a nerd. I love being a nerd. I’m going in the Nerd Pride march. And what’s up with you anyway, Jules? Since when do you care about clothes and going out?’
I found a plain black t-shirt and some reasonably clean jeans.
‘Just put these on while I fix my makeup.’ I handed him the clothes and walked in the bathroom.
‘ Fix your makeup?’ Craig muttered to himself while I reapplied my lip gloss. I took the front section of my hair and folded it over, fringe-like, but I couldn’t get an idea of how it would look. I thought of asking Craig’s advice but that would be pointless. He hadn’t even noticed my makeover. I could shave all my hair off and he’d not even realise.
Craig had changed when I came out. I looked at him and sighed. He ’d tried but he just didn’t wear clothes well. I straightened his tee shirt, tried tucking it in then untucking it. I flattened his hair and mucked around. Nothing helped.
Suddenly, I couldn ’t see Craig in some flash café. It would be like one of those picture puzzles you do as a kid where you have to work out the thing that doesn’t fit. It would take a five year old a whole two seconds to realise that thing was Craig. We’d have a crap night out. He’d feel awkward and out of place and spend the whole time nagging to come home. Just because I’d been made over didn’t mean that Craig had to change. In fact, I think Craig was un-makeover-able.
I picked up the controller off the floor.
‘Why don’t you call Tony’s,’ I said, handing it to him. ‘I’ve decided to stay home.’
***
Beth and Imogen stared at me when I got the Bad Girls’ Club meeting.
‘ What’s up?’ I asked. When they didn’t answer me, I got paranoid. I covered my face with my hands. ‘Tell me.’
‘ It’s just... what’s with this look?’ asked Beth.
I ’d tried to do my makeup like she’d shown me but then I thought some black eyeliner would look good. And I had to wear my new skirt to show it off.
I turned to Imogen to get her reaction.
‘It’s… different,’ she said. ‘Dramatic.’
‘ Dramatic, my arse,’ said Beth. ‘With your pale skin, you look like a vampire and that lipstick does nothing for you. Juliette, subtlety is the key.’
She sighed as I sat down.
‘I think you should wash it off.’ She looked around the bar, which was empty except for a couple of old codgers sitting at the bar. ‘What if someone saw you looking like that? You didn’t go to work with all that stuff on your face, did you?’
She had to be kidding. I didn ’t look that bad. I half expected her to pull out a hanky and spit on it then start rubbing
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