head by her thigh and his hand holding her own. She reached over to stroke the soft hair he had let grow out over the past year just because she liked it. She squeezed his hand and thought about all the times over the years she had sketched them. He was so beautiful to her. She felt the tears roll down her face at the thought of the lost child they hadn’t even known they’d created. What would he have looked like?
She heard a baby cry down the hall, and she sniffed. Reed’s head shot up, looking around the room in shock, before he saw Sam lying on the bed. His tired eyes tensed, and he reached a hand up to cup her wet cheek.
“Are you hurting? I’ll get a nurse. Don’t cry. It’s going to be okay. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Sammy.”
She sniffed again, wiping her eyes with the edge of the sheet that lay over her. “Why are you sorry? I’m the one who didn’t even realize I was pregnant. So stupid… it’s probably my fault. You’re always saying I don’t take care of myself enough,” she muttered as she tried to staunch her tears.
“Don’t. It’s no one’s fault, okay? The doctor said there could be a million reasons this happened.” He exhaled a shaky breath. “Sometimes shit just happens. You’re going to be fine.” He stood and leaned over, pressing a kiss to her forehead and holding her cheek in his hand. “You’re going to be fine. That’s the most important thing. That’s what scared me the most. I was so—” Reed choked. “I thought I was going to lose you for a while.” He leaned over her hospital bed so he could hold her head to his chest as he squeezed her limp hand.
Sam let the tears fall, finally allowing her body to shake with sobs as Reed held her in his safe arms.
“I wish I could lay down with you.” He stroked her cheek. ”It’s so cold in here.”
“It’s okay. I don’t really feel it.”
After her tears had dried some, Sam lay back, reclining on the bed and watching Reed as he sat next to her. He was obviously exhausted, but he traced his rough fingers up and down her arm with the lightest of touches. The feel of his skin on hers seemed to soothe them both. His voice finally broke the silence.
“You know I’d never leave you alone if you were pregnant, right? You know I’d love our baby, too?” he asked hoarsely, his eyes tracking his fingers as they continued to trail up and down her soft arm.
She reached over with her other hand, tangling her fingers in his shaggy hair. “I know, Reed. I’ve never worried about that.”
“Just wanted to make sure.” His left hand reached up, and he wove their fingers together as he lay his cheek down on her thigh and stared into her brown eyes. “I love you so much, Sam. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you,” he said in the dark room.
She stroked his stubbled cheek. “Sleep. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered as he closed his eyes. “Just look for me in your dreams.”
“I always do,” he murmured as he drifted off to sleep. “Always.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Newport Beach, California
June 2010
K ate sat on the deck of her parents’ home, watching the sailboats as they left the harbor. Though the day was likely to be warm, a high fog still hung over the coast, keeping the sun at bay. She was thinking of taking her camera down to the harbor to take some pictures, but had second thoughts.
It all seemed so unbearably sterile. The boats were perfectly painted and washed. The docks were scraped free of mussels and barnacles. It was the ideal setting her parents had worked so hard for, but she suddenly found it as empty as the minds of the tanned girls who giggled as they posed on the bows of passing luxury boats.
“Hey, grumpy.” Her father came out to the deck and sat next to her as she stared off into the distance.
“Hi.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the boats, the water and waving to a few neighbors who walked or
She heard a baby cry down the hall, and she sniffed. Reed’s head shot up, looking around the room in shock, before he saw Sam lying on the bed. His tired eyes tensed, and he reached a hand up to cup her wet cheek.
“Are you hurting? I’ll get a nurse. Don’t cry. It’s going to be okay. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Sammy.”
She sniffed again, wiping her eyes with the edge of the sheet that lay over her. “Why are you sorry? I’m the one who didn’t even realize I was pregnant. So stupid… it’s probably my fault. You’re always saying I don’t take care of myself enough,” she muttered as she tried to staunch her tears.
“Don’t. It’s no one’s fault, okay? The doctor said there could be a million reasons this happened.” He exhaled a shaky breath. “Sometimes shit just happens. You’re going to be fine.” He stood and leaned over, pressing a kiss to her forehead and holding her cheek in his hand. “You’re going to be fine. That’s the most important thing. That’s what scared me the most. I was so—” Reed choked. “I thought I was going to lose you for a while.” He leaned over her hospital bed so he could hold her head to his chest as he squeezed her limp hand.
Sam let the tears fall, finally allowing her body to shake with sobs as Reed held her in his safe arms.
“I wish I could lay down with you.” He stroked her cheek. ”It’s so cold in here.”
“It’s okay. I don’t really feel it.”
After her tears had dried some, Sam lay back, reclining on the bed and watching Reed as he sat next to her. He was obviously exhausted, but he traced his rough fingers up and down her arm with the lightest of touches. The feel of his skin on hers seemed to soothe them both. His voice finally broke the silence.
“You know I’d never leave you alone if you were pregnant, right? You know I’d love our baby, too?” he asked hoarsely, his eyes tracking his fingers as they continued to trail up and down her soft arm.
She reached over with her other hand, tangling her fingers in his shaggy hair. “I know, Reed. I’ve never worried about that.”
“Just wanted to make sure.” His left hand reached up, and he wove their fingers together as he lay his cheek down on her thigh and stared into her brown eyes. “I love you so much, Sam. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you,” he said in the dark room.
She stroked his stubbled cheek. “Sleep. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered as he closed his eyes. “Just look for me in your dreams.”
“I always do,” he murmured as he drifted off to sleep. “Always.”
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Newport Beach, California
June 2010
K ate sat on the deck of her parents’ home, watching the sailboats as they left the harbor. Though the day was likely to be warm, a high fog still hung over the coast, keeping the sun at bay. She was thinking of taking her camera down to the harbor to take some pictures, but had second thoughts.
It all seemed so unbearably sterile. The boats were perfectly painted and washed. The docks were scraped free of mussels and barnacles. It was the ideal setting her parents had worked so hard for, but she suddenly found it as empty as the minds of the tanned girls who giggled as they posed on the bows of passing luxury boats.
“Hey, grumpy.” Her father came out to the deck and sat next to her as she stared off into the distance.
“Hi.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the boats, the water and waving to a few neighbors who walked or
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