The Milestone Tapes by Ashley Mackler-Paternostro Page A

know? Watching someone else raise your kid. It’s like the hardest thing in the world and I have no choice in the matter. Mia needs someone and most of the time I’m worthless.” Jenna held her hands up in defeat.
    “Yes, that would be really ... trying,” Sophia said as she sought out the right word. “It’s a balance, and you’re doing just fine.”
    Sophia and Jenna continued to speak in hushed tones as the kids gobbled up their sandwiches and slurped on icy sodas.
    “It’s been a long time coming, honestly,” Sophia started, unprompted, as she speared bits of lettuce with her fork. “We became different people. Alex became this man who was so set in his ways, and I became this woman who changed her life to wrap around his
    “We weren’t happy. We tried to be, for the boys, but I couldn’t wait for him to leave for work in the morning, and I would try to drag my day out at the store to avoid seeing too much of him at home. Isn’t that awful? That’s not a healthy marriage, that’s not a good example to set for the boys. That’s not a marriage.” Sophia sipped her sugary iced tea and looked at Jenna meaningfully.
    Jenna thought of Gabe. She still loved him madly, couldn’t wait to be around him, hated to be away from him. Even now that their marriage was older, and they were older and so much had changed, she still couldn’t imagine not being with him, loving him.
    “I’m really, really sorry Sophia. Truly. I wish I had known.” Jenna spoke in hushed tones pursing her lips.
    “It wasn’t something I was telling anyone, no one knows,” Sophia rationalized.
    Jenna nodded in understanding. Sophia and Alex were small town society people, public people. She owned the local boutique, he was a family practitioner: successful and respected with a practice in full bloom. They had three handsome sons, a beautiful, stately home. The crust of their relationship was perfection; it must have been very hard to admit the inside wasn’t as good, slowly rotting away.
    “What will you do when you get home?” Jenna pushed on. The candid nature of their conversation had bolstered her courage to pry a little deeper into Sophia’s long term plans.
    “I’ll move forward, I suppose.” Sophia shrugged her shoulders in defeat. “What else can I do? Alex wants out, he’s said as much. He doesn’t love me anymore. I’m just catching up to feeling the same.” Her voice peaked with hurt that showed beneath the suffering in scrunched, reflective brow.
    “You’re going to be just fine,” Jenna comforted, consoled, wrapping her hands around the damp glass of her drink.
    “Of course, we all will. The boy’s will still get the best of us, I’ll make sure of that, at least on my end of things. I will have the store, and Alex will have his practice, and hopefully, in time, we’ll be able to be friends.” She mustered the fading optimism.
    Jenna longed to offer her sister more. A place to live, a safe harbor here with her if things at home, in South Carolina, were too hard. But she couldn’t. Sooner than later, she’d no longer have that to offer. She was Sophia’s only remaining family, only remaining blood. Their father had died a few years ago, and their mother before him. It was just the two girls, sisters, left to be each other’s only remaining bit.
    “I don’t mean to put this on you, Jenna, really. I’m sorry for even mentioning it.” Sophia sighed, crumbling her napkin and placing it on her plate. “I don’t know what I was thinking!”
    “No, it’s okay. I worry about you, I want you to be able to tell me anything, without censoring yourself. Please.” Jenna meant every word.
    “But still, you have more than enough to deal with without me adding to the heap. I’m sorry.”
    “Sophia, you’re my sister.”
    “This is why I didn’t want to tell you!” Sophia closed her eyes, pushing her fingers into her temples. “You, Jenna, no matter what you say, have a lot—more than enough—on