telling this little twit that yes, Jake was my boyfriend and we were dating.
Wait, what if he thought
I
was the one telling people that we were together? After all, I had asked him to hug me. Maybe he would think I was trying to take advantage of the situation. He would think I was so pathetic. I had to set the record straight so it wouldn't fall back on me.
"Um, no, we're not dating."
The first girl looked smug, the second crestfallen. The mini-Mercedes turned to her friend and said, "See, I told you he'd, like, never date someone like her. He only goes out with girls like Ella. Come on."
My good mood totally evaporated. I wanted to protest, to call her back and tell her she was wrong. But I had the uncomfortable, sinking feeling that she was right.
Jake did date girls like Ella. He never dated girls like me.
* * *
Jake continued to drive me to school, and we spent the time working on our manga
Pride & Prejudice
project. He would give me dialogue for the story, and I would edit it and insert it into the scenes I had already drawn. We worked well together, and his words went perfectly with my pictures. We would sit in the parking lot until we absolutely had to leave for class.
We talked mostly about the project, but we did talk about other stuff too. There was the day I discovered he was a Dodgers fan too. But when he told me he didn't like Clayton Kershaw, I gasped and said, "Inconceivable."
"I do not think that word means what you think it means," he shot back.
"You like
The Princess Bride
too?" He nodded. Other than John Hughes's films, it was one of my favorite movies ever. "Very quotable."
"Agreed," he said.
Over the next few days I also found out that, like me, he was not a vegetarian, had a dog named Scooby due to his childhood love of cartoons, and we even argued back and forth about the best manga and anime series.
I couldn't believe how much I looked forward to the time we spent together. I tried not to read too much into it, because my imagination could very quickly go to an unreal place.
Although I never imagined a weekend could be so freaking long. Every minute felt excruciating. I wondered what Jake was doing, wondered if he wondered what I was doing, if he thought about me at all. I had never been so excited for Monday morning before.
Ella asked how things were going, and while I felt a bit more comfortable talking to her about it, I explained that there was honestly nothing to tell. Jake just saw me as a project partner. He hadn't asked me out or acted like he wanted to spend more time with me. My head knew this, but my heart overanalyzed the tiniest inflections in his voice and every little expression hoping that I was just misunderstanding and that by some great miracle, he felt about me the way I felt about him.
"It's not going to happen," I told her for the millionth time.
She gave me that Ella shrug and said, "You never know."
Oh, to be blonde and beautiful and totally delusional.
I sat in study hall and drew some pictures of Ella as a mellower version of Sailor Moon in my sketchbook. I heard a noise and glanced up. Mrs. Putnam was looking at me and quickly turned her gaze toward the window. I put my head back down and resumed my drawing. I used to like having Mrs. Putnam as both my art teacher and study hall supervisor, but now it was awkward. I did my best to not make eye contact or ask any questions. My dad had been gone frequently in the evenings and Mrs. Putnam seemed to be avoiding me just as much I was avoiding her, which pretty much confirmed my theory that they were still seeing one another.
Halfway through class the phone from the office rang. After she answered it, Ms. Putnam raised her eyebrows and looked at me. "Mattie, they want you to go to the office."
I could feel the eyes of every kid in study hall on me. "Oh, busted," Mercedes said and then whispered something to one of her minions that made them both giggle.
The silvery, bitter taste of fear filled my senses. I
Wait, what if he thought
I
was the one telling people that we were together? After all, I had asked him to hug me. Maybe he would think I was trying to take advantage of the situation. He would think I was so pathetic. I had to set the record straight so it wouldn't fall back on me.
"Um, no, we're not dating."
The first girl looked smug, the second crestfallen. The mini-Mercedes turned to her friend and said, "See, I told you he'd, like, never date someone like her. He only goes out with girls like Ella. Come on."
My good mood totally evaporated. I wanted to protest, to call her back and tell her she was wrong. But I had the uncomfortable, sinking feeling that she was right.
Jake did date girls like Ella. He never dated girls like me.
* * *
Jake continued to drive me to school, and we spent the time working on our manga
Pride & Prejudice
project. He would give me dialogue for the story, and I would edit it and insert it into the scenes I had already drawn. We worked well together, and his words went perfectly with my pictures. We would sit in the parking lot until we absolutely had to leave for class.
We talked mostly about the project, but we did talk about other stuff too. There was the day I discovered he was a Dodgers fan too. But when he told me he didn't like Clayton Kershaw, I gasped and said, "Inconceivable."
"I do not think that word means what you think it means," he shot back.
"You like
The Princess Bride
too?" He nodded. Other than John Hughes's films, it was one of my favorite movies ever. "Very quotable."
"Agreed," he said.
Over the next few days I also found out that, like me, he was not a vegetarian, had a dog named Scooby due to his childhood love of cartoons, and we even argued back and forth about the best manga and anime series.
I couldn't believe how much I looked forward to the time we spent together. I tried not to read too much into it, because my imagination could very quickly go to an unreal place.
Although I never imagined a weekend could be so freaking long. Every minute felt excruciating. I wondered what Jake was doing, wondered if he wondered what I was doing, if he thought about me at all. I had never been so excited for Monday morning before.
Ella asked how things were going, and while I felt a bit more comfortable talking to her about it, I explained that there was honestly nothing to tell. Jake just saw me as a project partner. He hadn't asked me out or acted like he wanted to spend more time with me. My head knew this, but my heart overanalyzed the tiniest inflections in his voice and every little expression hoping that I was just misunderstanding and that by some great miracle, he felt about me the way I felt about him.
"It's not going to happen," I told her for the millionth time.
She gave me that Ella shrug and said, "You never know."
Oh, to be blonde and beautiful and totally delusional.
I sat in study hall and drew some pictures of Ella as a mellower version of Sailor Moon in my sketchbook. I heard a noise and glanced up. Mrs. Putnam was looking at me and quickly turned her gaze toward the window. I put my head back down and resumed my drawing. I used to like having Mrs. Putnam as both my art teacher and study hall supervisor, but now it was awkward. I did my best to not make eye contact or ask any questions. My dad had been gone frequently in the evenings and Mrs. Putnam seemed to be avoiding me just as much I was avoiding her, which pretty much confirmed my theory that they were still seeing one another.
Halfway through class the phone from the office rang. After she answered it, Ms. Putnam raised her eyebrows and looked at me. "Mattie, they want you to go to the office."
I could feel the eyes of every kid in study hall on me. "Oh, busted," Mercedes said and then whispered something to one of her minions that made them both giggle.
The silvery, bitter taste of fear filled my senses. I
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