implication that the past was a lie. That interactions in the past ring hollow, as there was no trust there. The gay guy had been lying up until this point.
The truth of how much lying was going on can vary. Some guys don't even know themselves until they are in their twenties. In the end, all have in common the realisation of the fact that they are not the person who their peers thought they were.
And this is the irony. For whatever reason, coming out is difficult. It’s one of those things that friends are supposed to be around for. It’s overdramatic, camp, to compare it to a death in the family, but certainly it has the hallmarks of a life altering event. But, in telling people you are gay, you are also telling them there has been a lie. That the friendship that existed was not as strong or honest as previously thought.
You kill a little bit of the friendship you are relying on.
We all know that when trust is thrown into question, it’s very difficult to totally regain it. And noone is really to blame, which is the self pitying sting in the tail.
The Fifth Part-Fiona
51. Good looking people have it easy. We all know that. And the good looking are confident. Beautiful men get girl's attention, they attract men who want some of the attraction to rub off on them, or at least pick at his scraps. From this they learn that there is no social situation which should intimidate them.
Now, the good looking will tell you that they don't have it as easy as you think. They have problems too. Sure, we all do. But Brandon's problems tended to be which girl to choose, or which friend to sacrifice, because he simply did n’ t have the time.
The next time one of the good looking tells you they are having a rough day, tell them its scientific fact that their life is easy. From the moment they were born they had it easy. When they came out of the womb they were the pretty babies, the ones everyone dotes on, picks up and cuddles. That happens to all babies, but it happens to the good looking ones more so than the rest. From this they learn that people will treat them well, they learn to get what they want, they come to know that people enjoy their company. Those around them enjoy doing things for them to make them happy.
Psychologists refer to this as 'a baby constructing its own environment'. By the way a baby looks the little tot elicits responses from day one. The better looking, the cuddlier baby, elicits better and friendlier responses. And on and on ad infinitum, until they are the alpha dog who has never really been treated badly by anyone in their whole lives.
I was thinking about this as I was having coffee with Fiona and Brandon. They must have been beautiful and friendly babies. Certainly, looking at them now, they had the glow of the uber-couple. So attractive that I couldn't help but think that a nuclear missile would rebound off their smiles and charm.
52. We were finally sitting down together, all three of us. I had suspected that Brandon didn't want me to meet Fiona. The experience may have been too painful for me and he was protecting me. Or, he was afraid of what I might say about the two of us. The reason though was likely that the two were too busy falling in love to pay me much mind.
My concentration was not the best, I was distracted. Distracted by the affectionate touches, smiles, stroking of each others legs. Their physical display was like some annoying fly I couldn't stop following with my eyes and desperately wanted to swat.
I knew Brandon noticed it. And I wondered what Fiona knew. Had he told her about the two of us? Hardly. Had he told her that I was in love with him? There was a chance. It was an easy explanation as to why we'd travelled half way around the world
The truth of how much lying was going on can vary. Some guys don't even know themselves until they are in their twenties. In the end, all have in common the realisation of the fact that they are not the person who their peers thought they were.
And this is the irony. For whatever reason, coming out is difficult. It’s one of those things that friends are supposed to be around for. It’s overdramatic, camp, to compare it to a death in the family, but certainly it has the hallmarks of a life altering event. But, in telling people you are gay, you are also telling them there has been a lie. That the friendship that existed was not as strong or honest as previously thought.
You kill a little bit of the friendship you are relying on.
We all know that when trust is thrown into question, it’s very difficult to totally regain it. And noone is really to blame, which is the self pitying sting in the tail.
The Fifth Part-Fiona
51. Good looking people have it easy. We all know that. And the good looking are confident. Beautiful men get girl's attention, they attract men who want some of the attraction to rub off on them, or at least pick at his scraps. From this they learn that there is no social situation which should intimidate them.
Now, the good looking will tell you that they don't have it as easy as you think. They have problems too. Sure, we all do. But Brandon's problems tended to be which girl to choose, or which friend to sacrifice, because he simply did n’ t have the time.
The next time one of the good looking tells you they are having a rough day, tell them its scientific fact that their life is easy. From the moment they were born they had it easy. When they came out of the womb they were the pretty babies, the ones everyone dotes on, picks up and cuddles. That happens to all babies, but it happens to the good looking ones more so than the rest. From this they learn that people will treat them well, they learn to get what they want, they come to know that people enjoy their company. Those around them enjoy doing things for them to make them happy.
Psychologists refer to this as 'a baby constructing its own environment'. By the way a baby looks the little tot elicits responses from day one. The better looking, the cuddlier baby, elicits better and friendlier responses. And on and on ad infinitum, until they are the alpha dog who has never really been treated badly by anyone in their whole lives.
I was thinking about this as I was having coffee with Fiona and Brandon. They must have been beautiful and friendly babies. Certainly, looking at them now, they had the glow of the uber-couple. So attractive that I couldn't help but think that a nuclear missile would rebound off their smiles and charm.
52. We were finally sitting down together, all three of us. I had suspected that Brandon didn't want me to meet Fiona. The experience may have been too painful for me and he was protecting me. Or, he was afraid of what I might say about the two of us. The reason though was likely that the two were too busy falling in love to pay me much mind.
My concentration was not the best, I was distracted. Distracted by the affectionate touches, smiles, stroking of each others legs. Their physical display was like some annoying fly I couldn't stop following with my eyes and desperately wanted to swat.
I knew Brandon noticed it. And I wondered what Fiona knew. Had he told her about the two of us? Hardly. Had he told her that I was in love with him? There was a chance. It was an easy explanation as to why we'd travelled half way around the world
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