in his hands. He wiped her carefully, his touch sending off little shocks of sensation to remind her of what they’d just shared.
“You don’t have to do that, I can take care of it,” she protested, pushing herself up onto her elbows.
“All done already,” he answered, leaving the room again.
She slid off the desk and reached for her panties, pulling them up legs that felt about as strong as overcooked spaghetti. But she felt compelled to move fast, to be dressed before he came back into the room.
His face was impossible to read when he returned and Alexis mentally braced herself, uncertain of what would come next.
* * *
“We need to talk,” Raoul started, and he saw her pale before him, her eyes widen.
“Wasn’t that what we were doing...before?”
He made a movement with his hand, brushing aside her words. “We need to discuss us.”
“Us? What about us? Do you want to stop...?”
Her voice trailed away as if she couldn’t quite find the words to define the exquisite pleasure they’d enjoyed together. But he had no such difficulty. It was what it was. Just sex. Period. It could never be anything else and she needed to know that.
“No. But I want to be clear going forward that it is only sex between us, Alexis. It will never be, and can never be, anything more than that. You want me to be alive. Fine, I’ll be alive—with you—but it won’t be anything more than this. I want us to be sexual partners, no strings attached. Can you accept that?”
He watched her carefully for her reaction. If she looked uncomfortable about this in any way, if the idea made her unhappy because she wanted more from a partner or because she secretly harbored feelings for him that she thought might be reciprocated, he hoped it would show on her expressive face. But for once she remained a closed book to him. A faint nod of her head the only acknowledgment of what he’d just said.
“Are you certain, Alexis? Because if you can’t, we stop now. I don’t want you to be under any illusion that we’re going to fall in love and have a future. I’m never going down that road again. I did it once and I can’t trust anyone that way again.”
She caught her full lower lip between her teeth, the sheen in her eyes a telltale giveaway. A shaft of fear sliced through him. She wanted more. Of course she did. It was in her nature to love, to nurture. It was only natural she’d want the same in return. She was the kind of person who always put others first, the one others turned to when in need. But he didn’t want all of that from her—couldn’t accept it, couldn’t give it to her in return.
“Can I have some time to think about it?”
“If you need time to think about it, you obviously have questions. If you have questions, or doubts, then we should probably forget the whole idea.”
He could see her weighing his words. Before his eyes she changed. Her eyes cleared and the expression on her face hardened. She drew herself up to her full height and looked up at him. Then, to his surprise, she gave a brief nod and spoke.
“Yes, I accept.”
“Yes?”
He barely dared to hope she was giving him the answer he desperately wanted to hear.
“Yes, I’ll be your...” she hesitated just a barest moment “...your sexual partner.”
“No strings attached.”
The clarification was important. Vitally so.
“Agreed, no strings attached.”
“And you’ll keep taking your pill. I don’t want there to be any mistakes. If you’re not happy with that I’ll take care of protection myself.”
Maybe he should be using condoms as well anyway. You could never be too safe.
“I’m still taking my pill. I don’t plan to stop, so don’t worry. Is that everything you wanted to discuss?”
Hell, no, it wasn’t.
“Just one more thing.”
“And what might that be?”
“Our sleeping arrangements. I can’t stay in your room.”
“That’s okay, I can sleep just as well in your bed—if you want me there all night,
“You don’t have to do that, I can take care of it,” she protested, pushing herself up onto her elbows.
“All done already,” he answered, leaving the room again.
She slid off the desk and reached for her panties, pulling them up legs that felt about as strong as overcooked spaghetti. But she felt compelled to move fast, to be dressed before he came back into the room.
His face was impossible to read when he returned and Alexis mentally braced herself, uncertain of what would come next.
* * *
“We need to talk,” Raoul started, and he saw her pale before him, her eyes widen.
“Wasn’t that what we were doing...before?”
He made a movement with his hand, brushing aside her words. “We need to discuss us.”
“Us? What about us? Do you want to stop...?”
Her voice trailed away as if she couldn’t quite find the words to define the exquisite pleasure they’d enjoyed together. But he had no such difficulty. It was what it was. Just sex. Period. It could never be anything else and she needed to know that.
“No. But I want to be clear going forward that it is only sex between us, Alexis. It will never be, and can never be, anything more than that. You want me to be alive. Fine, I’ll be alive—with you—but it won’t be anything more than this. I want us to be sexual partners, no strings attached. Can you accept that?”
He watched her carefully for her reaction. If she looked uncomfortable about this in any way, if the idea made her unhappy because she wanted more from a partner or because she secretly harbored feelings for him that she thought might be reciprocated, he hoped it would show on her expressive face. But for once she remained a closed book to him. A faint nod of her head the only acknowledgment of what he’d just said.
“Are you certain, Alexis? Because if you can’t, we stop now. I don’t want you to be under any illusion that we’re going to fall in love and have a future. I’m never going down that road again. I did it once and I can’t trust anyone that way again.”
She caught her full lower lip between her teeth, the sheen in her eyes a telltale giveaway. A shaft of fear sliced through him. She wanted more. Of course she did. It was in her nature to love, to nurture. It was only natural she’d want the same in return. She was the kind of person who always put others first, the one others turned to when in need. But he didn’t want all of that from her—couldn’t accept it, couldn’t give it to her in return.
“Can I have some time to think about it?”
“If you need time to think about it, you obviously have questions. If you have questions, or doubts, then we should probably forget the whole idea.”
He could see her weighing his words. Before his eyes she changed. Her eyes cleared and the expression on her face hardened. She drew herself up to her full height and looked up at him. Then, to his surprise, she gave a brief nod and spoke.
“Yes, I accept.”
“Yes?”
He barely dared to hope she was giving him the answer he desperately wanted to hear.
“Yes, I’ll be your...” she hesitated just a barest moment “...your sexual partner.”
“No strings attached.”
The clarification was important. Vitally so.
“Agreed, no strings attached.”
“And you’ll keep taking your pill. I don’t want there to be any mistakes. If you’re not happy with that I’ll take care of protection myself.”
Maybe he should be using condoms as well anyway. You could never be too safe.
“I’m still taking my pill. I don’t plan to stop, so don’t worry. Is that everything you wanted to discuss?”
Hell, no, it wasn’t.
“Just one more thing.”
“And what might that be?”
“Our sleeping arrangements. I can’t stay in your room.”
“That’s okay, I can sleep just as well in your bed—if you want me there all night,
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