Eucharist wafers and had them blessed. I used to bring my own to church along with a thermos of grape juice, I hate wine.”
BT would have rolled out of his bed if his leg wasn’t in suspension.
“ Have you ever been to a Catholic mass? Its friggen disgusting.” I said starting my defense. “First they make you shake hands with all your neighbors. There’s Kenny, the eleven year old that has had his finger shoved up his nose the entire time. There’s old man Baker, who smells like 4 day old meatloaf left on the curb during a heat wave. Then there’s Mrs. Porter with her infant and she just changed a dirty diaper without using wipes. Yeah real effen sanitary!” My voice was rising with the increase of potential germs. “So then we get through that particularly nasty infectious test tube archaic trait and move right along to sipping wine out of a golden chalice that the entire mass has put their cracked, canker laced lips on not to mention those with cold sores.” I was shuddering. “Then the priest hands you a wafer that he had clutched between his thumb and forefinger, but what’s worse than that is he’s been doing that to everyone else also and they have had the chance to breathe all their germs on those two fingers as he placed the wafer on their tongues.”
“ Oh man, I needed that!” BT said holding his gut he was laughing so hard.
“ Ass.” Was all I could muster.
After a significant lull, I realized that BT had drifted off into slumber. I was close too, when distant gunshots rang out. Fully alert now, I realized my dilemma. Here I was with a damaged arm tied to a bed without a weapon, I was sort of like a human kabob without the marinade or the accompanying vegetables or wooden skewer or…OH STOP TALBOT. Great just great, I was pissing the other half of me off.
“ BT you awake?”
“ Yup I heard it too.” BT said with his eyes still closed. “Relax Talbot.”
“ Not really in my nature.”
“ We’re in a military base, I’m sure they can take care of whatever is going on.”
“ Yeah you’re probably right, I just hate being this helpless. Bambi could come in here right now and kick both of our asses.”
“ Now are you talking about a zombie Bambi or just a regular type Bambi?” BT asked in earnest. “Cause I’m going to freak out a little if you’re thinking that there could be some zombie animals. Can you imagine nests of zombie rats coming after us, with that little hairless tail, or what about zombie pigeons? They’re already the rat of the sky. Or maybe cockroach zombies.”
“ Stop already. I thought I was bad.”
“ I think maybe we have too much time on our hands.” BT said. “But you don’t think there are animal zombies do you?”
“ Fuck no.” I said much too quickly, more to defer my unbounded imagination than to qualm BT’s fears. Could the disease pass the species line? Why not, other diseases did. Super, nothing like a 600-pound silverback gorilla wanting to munch on your head. “Oh no.”
“ What Talbot?” BT asked alarmed. Looking wildly about the room for this new threat.
“ I was just thinking about a zombified Big Foot.”
BT was a half second away from calling me crazy, before he really let the thought of that set in. “Oh man, that would be really bad.” BT said and he meant it.
“ Big Foot as a zombie?” Tracy asked from the doorway. “What are you doing Talbot? Didn’t I tell you not to infect others with your touched thoughts?”
“ It could happen.” I said, defending my position.
BT nodded in agreement.
“ The Doctor either needs to up both of your meds or halve them. I don’t know which.” Tracy laughed.
“ So what gives?” I asked, nodding my head to the doorway.
“ I figured the gunshots would get you thinking, I just didn’t know how far and fast you’d go down the rabbit hole.”
“ What? BT thinks that there are zombie cockroaches.” I said deflecting the conversation.
“ He’s a pretty big guy
BT would have rolled out of his bed if his leg wasn’t in suspension.
“ Have you ever been to a Catholic mass? Its friggen disgusting.” I said starting my defense. “First they make you shake hands with all your neighbors. There’s Kenny, the eleven year old that has had his finger shoved up his nose the entire time. There’s old man Baker, who smells like 4 day old meatloaf left on the curb during a heat wave. Then there’s Mrs. Porter with her infant and she just changed a dirty diaper without using wipes. Yeah real effen sanitary!” My voice was rising with the increase of potential germs. “So then we get through that particularly nasty infectious test tube archaic trait and move right along to sipping wine out of a golden chalice that the entire mass has put their cracked, canker laced lips on not to mention those with cold sores.” I was shuddering. “Then the priest hands you a wafer that he had clutched between his thumb and forefinger, but what’s worse than that is he’s been doing that to everyone else also and they have had the chance to breathe all their germs on those two fingers as he placed the wafer on their tongues.”
“ Oh man, I needed that!” BT said holding his gut he was laughing so hard.
“ Ass.” Was all I could muster.
After a significant lull, I realized that BT had drifted off into slumber. I was close too, when distant gunshots rang out. Fully alert now, I realized my dilemma. Here I was with a damaged arm tied to a bed without a weapon, I was sort of like a human kabob without the marinade or the accompanying vegetables or wooden skewer or…OH STOP TALBOT. Great just great, I was pissing the other half of me off.
“ BT you awake?”
“ Yup I heard it too.” BT said with his eyes still closed. “Relax Talbot.”
“ Not really in my nature.”
“ We’re in a military base, I’m sure they can take care of whatever is going on.”
“ Yeah you’re probably right, I just hate being this helpless. Bambi could come in here right now and kick both of our asses.”
“ Now are you talking about a zombie Bambi or just a regular type Bambi?” BT asked in earnest. “Cause I’m going to freak out a little if you’re thinking that there could be some zombie animals. Can you imagine nests of zombie rats coming after us, with that little hairless tail, or what about zombie pigeons? They’re already the rat of the sky. Or maybe cockroach zombies.”
“ Stop already. I thought I was bad.”
“ I think maybe we have too much time on our hands.” BT said. “But you don’t think there are animal zombies do you?”
“ Fuck no.” I said much too quickly, more to defer my unbounded imagination than to qualm BT’s fears. Could the disease pass the species line? Why not, other diseases did. Super, nothing like a 600-pound silverback gorilla wanting to munch on your head. “Oh no.”
“ What Talbot?” BT asked alarmed. Looking wildly about the room for this new threat.
“ I was just thinking about a zombified Big Foot.”
BT was a half second away from calling me crazy, before he really let the thought of that set in. “Oh man, that would be really bad.” BT said and he meant it.
“ Big Foot as a zombie?” Tracy asked from the doorway. “What are you doing Talbot? Didn’t I tell you not to infect others with your touched thoughts?”
“ It could happen.” I said, defending my position.
BT nodded in agreement.
“ The Doctor either needs to up both of your meds or halve them. I don’t know which.” Tracy laughed.
“ So what gives?” I asked, nodding my head to the doorway.
“ I figured the gunshots would get you thinking, I just didn’t know how far and fast you’d go down the rabbit hole.”
“ What? BT thinks that there are zombie cockroaches.” I said deflecting the conversation.
“ He’s a pretty big guy
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