Asher
“What’s wrong with you?”
    “Many things,” I say. “Want a list?”
    “Shut up.”
    “You asked.”
    Zane comes to stand over me, wearing a dark scowl. “You think you’re funny?”
    I shrug. “Do you think I’m funny?”
    “Dammit, Ash.” He straightens. “I didn’t want to let her come ’cause I thought she’d be a bitch. Turns out it’s you I should have been worried about.”
    “Oh yeah?”
    “Yeah, fucker. You could at least be civil. You could be friends.”
    “She doesn’t need a friend like me.”
    “The hell she doesn’t. What the fuck does that even mean— a friend like me ?” He mimics my voice, making a face. “This is bull and you know it.”
    “If you say so.” I don’t need this shit.
    “You’re one of the most decent guys I know, Ash. So get your head out of your ass and head over for Christmas.”
    That is so not happening. I set my beer on the table, my hands shaking. “Shouldn’t you be getting ready for your trip?”
    “Trying to get rid of me? The voice of reason?”
    “Kiss my ass, Z-man.”
    “No, thank you, I’m good. Going to pack now.”
    He leaves to his bedroom and I sit staring at the opposite wall. Christmas. It’s in two days. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve.
    Time passes so fast. What do I have to show for it? I need to set my plan into motion to earn enough money, find a place to stay, return to my evening classes and finish my GED. That may open some doors.
    Land me a better job. A legal one.
    And then maybe Audrey will...
    Will what? Don’t be such an idiot. Too many ifs in my plan—go back to the club, make them take me on. And win. Preferably without getting crippled for life.
    Fuck Christmas. I’m not going to Audrey’s or anywhere else for that matter. I’ll train. I’ll be ready. I can do this. For once in my life I have a goal.
    I’m gonna turn my life around.

Chapter Nine

    Audrey

    Christmas Day.
    I’m standing at the bay window of my living room, staring out at the grey of early afternoon. Snow is falling in light swirls.
    I spoke to my mom in the morning and we wished each other a Merry Christmas. Then I tried to work on my astronomy project but had to stop because I couldn’t concentrate.
    Today’s supposed to be a happy day, a fun day. This is my first time without any family—or friends. The loneliest Christmas in history. How depressing.
    And Ash hasn’t come.
    He said he wouldn’t, but I held out hope he’d change his mind. Not that I can blame him for not coming. I didn’t even find the courage to apologize to him, and after what he’s been through, I can understand the anger.
    I know anger. After the accident, fury had boiled in my veins. I’d wanted to scream and kick and break everything down. The unfairness of it all had been too much to bear. Why me? Why my dad? Why?
    Maybe I can understand Ash better than anyone. So ironic.
    But he kissed me. The memory lingers, making me feel hot and restless. The way his hard body pressed against me, the power of his arms, his tongue thrusting into my mouth... God. I want to touch him, skin to skin, explore his body. I want to see how hard he is for me, to touch his arousal, feel it, stroke it.
    Okay, something’s definitely wrong with me. I’ve never felt this way about any other boy. Besides, Ash obviously doesn’t want to see me again, and here I am, fantasizing about his hot body.
    Get real, Audrey.
    Getting through this holiday alone is going to be a bummer, but I’ll make it just one more challenge. I can do this. I’ve been through so much worse that I know I can do almost anything.
    On most days, that is. On others, especially after waking up from a nightmare, the world crashes around me, sending me to my knees.
    Not today, though. I’ve cooked a simple pasta with sauce from a jar and watched TV. Played my music real loud and danced around the apartment to the sounds of German groups, the strong percussion of In Extremo and the mellower melodies of Faun and Helium

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