you, I always loved cars and the biggest and best ones I’d ever seen up close were the big black Daimlers of the funeral directors.
‘I was fascinated by their sheer size and majesty and was thrilled to inveigle my way into getting a Saturday job washing and polishing them. While generally hanging around I began to learn more about the bigger picture they were involved in. Gradually I became fascinated, obsessed almost, by the art of funeral directing. It was only a question of time before I moved inside, away from my valeting duties, to take up my first post in the business, accessorizing coffins. After that, I was hooked.’
I’m not sure I’ve ever come across anyone quite as passionate about what they do for a living as Dave.
His voice is a unique blend of enthusiasm, energy, warmth, gentleness and sensitivity. Like a librarian dying to tell a colleague they’ve won the lottery but not wanting to disturb anyone in the process.
‘We funeral directors are available to our customers 24/7, 365 days a year. We have to be, it’s our duty. If I get a call on Christmas Day at three o’clock in the morning then either I, or one of my staff, will be there within the hour. That’s what happens when you are responsible for dealing with approximately a hundred thousand funerals a year, as my team and I are now. That’s roughly a fifth of all deaths annually in Britain.’
A figure I later discovered is down on recent years, as we are beginning to die later and later. This means funerals are currently experiencing a lag until we catch up with ourselves, circa 2018.
‘I say to all my team, being a funeral director is a privileged and highly regarded position. Whether you’re suited and booted and ready for someone’s final send-off, or you’re in jeans and a T-shirt down the pub, you are always representing what we do.
‘And I have to say – to a man and to a woman, they all totally get it. We funeral directors are a breed unto ourselves; it is a vocation and a calling much more than it will ever be an occupation. We are born to serve and wouldn’t want it any other way.’
There is no doubt in my mind. Dave’s the perfect person to be our nation’s go-to funeral man.
But he’s so obviously sincere and genuine that suddenly I feel I don’t want to unleash my disapproval and frustration at the general wincing and cowering mindset we have surrounding dying and funerals in the UK. It’s not Dave’s fault. Though I need not worry: Dave’s thought about little else all his life.
‘Make no mistake, funeral directors are on hand to help people organize an event that nobody wants. Most people will only organize one or two funerals in their life, if that. We are constantly dealing with bereaved individuals who haven’t the faintest idea what to do. And then there are complications when natural causes may not necessarily be the cause of death and legal implications have to be taken into consideration – surrounding cases of murder, for example, or suicide and the like. Add to that the fact that our clients are not exactly in the best frame of mind to make balanced retail and consumer decisions and it’s not difficult to see the fragility of many of the situations we encounter on a daily basis.’
Of course. In many ways it’s a salesman’s dream – but not for Dave, no way.
‘It’s very important that we ask the newly bereaved what they would like, as opposed to telling them what they should have, or what will make us most money. Every initial meeting is a crash course in funeral planning. We are professionals dealing with therawest of amateurs in the most extreme emotional circumstances imaginable.’
This response gives me an opportunity to ease into a mildly confrontational line of questioning.
I suggest to Dave that we need to start talking about funerals pre-death. This last-minute-dot-com approach is surely no good for all parties concerned. How come it has been thus, and for far too
‘I was fascinated by their sheer size and majesty and was thrilled to inveigle my way into getting a Saturday job washing and polishing them. While generally hanging around I began to learn more about the bigger picture they were involved in. Gradually I became fascinated, obsessed almost, by the art of funeral directing. It was only a question of time before I moved inside, away from my valeting duties, to take up my first post in the business, accessorizing coffins. After that, I was hooked.’
I’m not sure I’ve ever come across anyone quite as passionate about what they do for a living as Dave.
His voice is a unique blend of enthusiasm, energy, warmth, gentleness and sensitivity. Like a librarian dying to tell a colleague they’ve won the lottery but not wanting to disturb anyone in the process.
‘We funeral directors are available to our customers 24/7, 365 days a year. We have to be, it’s our duty. If I get a call on Christmas Day at three o’clock in the morning then either I, or one of my staff, will be there within the hour. That’s what happens when you are responsible for dealing with approximately a hundred thousand funerals a year, as my team and I are now. That’s roughly a fifth of all deaths annually in Britain.’
A figure I later discovered is down on recent years, as we are beginning to die later and later. This means funerals are currently experiencing a lag until we catch up with ourselves, circa 2018.
‘I say to all my team, being a funeral director is a privileged and highly regarded position. Whether you’re suited and booted and ready for someone’s final send-off, or you’re in jeans and a T-shirt down the pub, you are always representing what we do.
‘And I have to say – to a man and to a woman, they all totally get it. We funeral directors are a breed unto ourselves; it is a vocation and a calling much more than it will ever be an occupation. We are born to serve and wouldn’t want it any other way.’
There is no doubt in my mind. Dave’s the perfect person to be our nation’s go-to funeral man.
But he’s so obviously sincere and genuine that suddenly I feel I don’t want to unleash my disapproval and frustration at the general wincing and cowering mindset we have surrounding dying and funerals in the UK. It’s not Dave’s fault. Though I need not worry: Dave’s thought about little else all his life.
‘Make no mistake, funeral directors are on hand to help people organize an event that nobody wants. Most people will only organize one or two funerals in their life, if that. We are constantly dealing with bereaved individuals who haven’t the faintest idea what to do. And then there are complications when natural causes may not necessarily be the cause of death and legal implications have to be taken into consideration – surrounding cases of murder, for example, or suicide and the like. Add to that the fact that our clients are not exactly in the best frame of mind to make balanced retail and consumer decisions and it’s not difficult to see the fragility of many of the situations we encounter on a daily basis.’
Of course. In many ways it’s a salesman’s dream – but not for Dave, no way.
‘It’s very important that we ask the newly bereaved what they would like, as opposed to telling them what they should have, or what will make us most money. Every initial meeting is a crash course in funeral planning. We are professionals dealing with therawest of amateurs in the most extreme emotional circumstances imaginable.’
This response gives me an opportunity to ease into a mildly confrontational line of questioning.
I suggest to Dave that we need to start talking about funerals pre-death. This last-minute-dot-com approach is surely no good for all parties concerned. How come it has been thus, and for far too
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