waist,
holding her to me. Afraid she would leave, now that she had her answer, I held tighter.
She
finally attempted to move, but I couldn't let her go. It felt like she was the
only thing holding off the nightmares waiting behind my eyelids. I lay back on
to the bed, taking her with me. Tension filled every one of her muscles and she
tried to fight the move. I knew she was afraid and uncertain, but I couldn't
let go. Not yet.
I
rolled so she was on her back and I curled into her. Making sure she was unable
to leave me, I buried my face into her side and closed my eyes. It still wasn't
there. The memories, the nightmare, it wasn't there. It was just darkness. My
body relaxed into hers.
She
shifted a little after we relaxed, but then she tried to get up. I locked up on
her. There was no way I could give this up. Not knowing what was waiting for
me. Without moving my head out of her side, I spoke.
"Please
don't leave" It was muffled, but she heard me. She didn't leave.
When
I woke the next morning, I couldn't believe I'd slept the entire night. I slept
a whole night without waking up screaming. I haven't slept like that for, hell;
I couldn't remember the last time I slept like this. Let alone a night where I
slept without pills.
The
night came back to me and I dropped my head down to the body pressed mine. Mia
was still in bed with me, she hadn't left. Gently pulling my arm off her, I sat
up in bed. Running my hand through my hair, I looked over once more to Mia
curled up on her side still fast asleep. She didn't leave.
Panic
set in. This was too personal. It was too intimate. How did I let this happen?
I had to get out of here. Grabbing some clothes on the way out of the room, I
showered and dressed. Leaving the bus, I went for a walk to clear my head.
This
wasn't in my plan. I didn't need to be an emotional wreck right now.
Maybe
having her on the bus was a bad idea. Yeah, it was bad timing to have her on
the bus with me. It was so close to…to that night and…it doesn't matter, I'm
sticking to the plan. This changes nothing.
About
to step onto the bus and make sure she realized that nothing had changed, she
stepped off the last step. I furrowed my brow at her, just waiting for her to
say something about what happened. She didn't. Her face was completely blank.
She ignored me and kept walking toward the arena.
Holy
shit, was she really going to pretend it didn't happen? Part of me felt
relieved, but a small part was angry with her.
*
* * * *
The
Salt Lake City concert was amazing. The arena was the largest we'd been in,
yet, and the crowd was insane. We had been so into the concert and pushing ourselves
on stage that we decided to hang out on the bus and relax afterward.
"So
how are things with the lunatic?" Laney giggled and took a drink of her
beer.
I
rolled my eyes and took a drink of mine. There was no way I was telling them
about last night. No way in hell.
"Same
ass, same hole" I laughed.
Kat
broke into hysterics.
"I
don't know how you do it" Serena shook her head. "We really shouldn't
have let you get on that bus." She looked apologetic.
"No,
I could've just refused." I sighed and took another drink.
"Is
the song at least coming along?" Laney asked.
"Sort
of," I shrugged. "We haven't worked on it much since the last time I
told you about it. I guess we have to work on asshole time." Winking at
Laney, she giggled.
"Fuck,"
Kat breathed out. "He is a real dickhead isn't he?"
"Who
is?" All of our heads turned to see Una standing there smirking at us.
"Christopher,"
I answered nonchalantly "who else?"
"Is
he still giving you a hard time?" She came in and sat down with us.
"You
could say that, but what else is new?" I stretched my arms over my head. "Once
we get this damn song finished I won't have to deal with him like this anymore."
I gave her a large smile.
Una
stood up.
"Mia
can we take a walk?" My face dropped and I instantly got nervous. "Calm
down, I just want to talk one on one, you
holding her to me. Afraid she would leave, now that she had her answer, I held tighter.
She
finally attempted to move, but I couldn't let her go. It felt like she was the
only thing holding off the nightmares waiting behind my eyelids. I lay back on
to the bed, taking her with me. Tension filled every one of her muscles and she
tried to fight the move. I knew she was afraid and uncertain, but I couldn't
let go. Not yet.
I
rolled so she was on her back and I curled into her. Making sure she was unable
to leave me, I buried my face into her side and closed my eyes. It still wasn't
there. The memories, the nightmare, it wasn't there. It was just darkness. My
body relaxed into hers.
She
shifted a little after we relaxed, but then she tried to get up. I locked up on
her. There was no way I could give this up. Not knowing what was waiting for
me. Without moving my head out of her side, I spoke.
"Please
don't leave" It was muffled, but she heard me. She didn't leave.
When
I woke the next morning, I couldn't believe I'd slept the entire night. I slept
a whole night without waking up screaming. I haven't slept like that for, hell;
I couldn't remember the last time I slept like this. Let alone a night where I
slept without pills.
The
night came back to me and I dropped my head down to the body pressed mine. Mia
was still in bed with me, she hadn't left. Gently pulling my arm off her, I sat
up in bed. Running my hand through my hair, I looked over once more to Mia
curled up on her side still fast asleep. She didn't leave.
Panic
set in. This was too personal. It was too intimate. How did I let this happen?
I had to get out of here. Grabbing some clothes on the way out of the room, I
showered and dressed. Leaving the bus, I went for a walk to clear my head.
This
wasn't in my plan. I didn't need to be an emotional wreck right now.
Maybe
having her on the bus was a bad idea. Yeah, it was bad timing to have her on
the bus with me. It was so close to…to that night and…it doesn't matter, I'm
sticking to the plan. This changes nothing.
About
to step onto the bus and make sure she realized that nothing had changed, she
stepped off the last step. I furrowed my brow at her, just waiting for her to
say something about what happened. She didn't. Her face was completely blank.
She ignored me and kept walking toward the arena.
Holy
shit, was she really going to pretend it didn't happen? Part of me felt
relieved, but a small part was angry with her.
*
* * * *
The
Salt Lake City concert was amazing. The arena was the largest we'd been in,
yet, and the crowd was insane. We had been so into the concert and pushing ourselves
on stage that we decided to hang out on the bus and relax afterward.
"So
how are things with the lunatic?" Laney giggled and took a drink of her
beer.
I
rolled my eyes and took a drink of mine. There was no way I was telling them
about last night. No way in hell.
"Same
ass, same hole" I laughed.
Kat
broke into hysterics.
"I
don't know how you do it" Serena shook her head. "We really shouldn't
have let you get on that bus." She looked apologetic.
"No,
I could've just refused." I sighed and took another drink.
"Is
the song at least coming along?" Laney asked.
"Sort
of," I shrugged. "We haven't worked on it much since the last time I
told you about it. I guess we have to work on asshole time." Winking at
Laney, she giggled.
"Fuck,"
Kat breathed out. "He is a real dickhead isn't he?"
"Who
is?" All of our heads turned to see Una standing there smirking at us.
"Christopher,"
I answered nonchalantly "who else?"
"Is
he still giving you a hard time?" She came in and sat down with us.
"You
could say that, but what else is new?" I stretched my arms over my head. "Once
we get this damn song finished I won't have to deal with him like this anymore."
I gave her a large smile.
Una
stood up.
"Mia
can we take a walk?" My face dropped and I instantly got nervous. "Calm
down, I just want to talk one on one, you
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