people feel embarrassed about buying condoms? I felt it was important to speak out. Why should I feel self-conscious about protecting myself?Thatâs the right thing to do. Or there was the time I thought I was pregnant when Iâd not even had sex yet! I even did a test. That was pretty embarrassing too.
Boys can be real shits at times. I started dating a guy when I was fourteen. I think he was the first guy I kissed. I canât really remember, which shows just how memorable it was! It was all a bit childish really and it wasnât serious. Weâd only been going out for a couple of weeks when he dumped me in front of everyone in the playground. His reason? He said I was fat. That really bloody hurt. He then started spreading these horrible rumours around school about me, like saying I was thick or something equally ridiculous. I went home from school one night really upset that this guy had been mean to me.
The next day, my mum turned up at school â I wasnât expecting to see her. The guy whoâd dumped me was hanging out at the basketball court and she marched over. She tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around and she said, âIf you donât leave my daughter alone and stop saying nasty lies about her, Iâm going to chop your dick off and shove it down your throat.â
It would be fair to say that no guy at school said horrible things about me again after that.
I WAS fifteen when I started to become sexually aware and I began to realise that boys were cool and not disgusting. We were all at Ozzfest. When we were on the tour we were all on different buses.Quite a lot of the teenagers were on our bus and anyone who had a teenage daughter or son would join us â it was chaos!
All the bands would have a different bus â there were loads of them. Each bus had a number. That was just for organisational reasons. Every year, we would put all the numbers into a hat, pick out a number and sleep in someone elseâs bus for the night. It was a great way of getting to know different people.
On this particular year, we played the game and I got the same bus as this guy who I really fancied and was in one of the bands that was performing. He was about seventeen or eighteen. We somehow ended up sleeping in the same bunk. You have to remember that Iâd done a lot of my growing up on tour hanging out with the boys. So it wasnât a big deal for me to innocently share someoneâs bunk. But that soon changed â¦
We were lying there and he turned to me and asked, âHas anyone ever licked your pussy?â
At this point, Iâd never really kissed a boy properly. That word really frightened me â I donât fucking have a cat between my legs! There had been the guy at school, but weâd just pecked. My head was in the romantic clouds.
I said, âWhat?â I didnât realise what he was talking about.
He wouldnât shut up. He kept saying, âI love how youâre so beautiful.â
And I was like, âWhat the fuck are you talking about?â
Then the penny dropped and I thought, âOh my God, heâs talking about wanting to lick my fanny. Get me the hell out of here.â
I jumped straight out of the bunk and got into Jackâs. I was absolutely mortified.
âWe were lying there and he turned to me and asked, âHas anyone ever licked your pussy?â At this point, Iâd never really kissed a boy properly. That word really frightened me â I donât fucking have a cat between my legs! There had been the guy at school, but weâd just pecked. My head was in the romantic clouds.â
I still see this person to this day and now itâs funny. It definitely wasnât then.
Some really fucked-up things happened to me on tour and some really amazing things â I guess that was one of the more fucked-up things.
W HAT Iâve always found funny is that older men are attracted to me. I
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