FITNESS CONFIDENTIAL by Vinnie Tortorich, Dean Lorey
Authors: Vinnie Tortorich, Dean Lorey
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sobering fact in mind, let me ask you again:
Why do you want to exercise ?
Remember, aerobic exercise is great for your cardiovascular system, not to mention your muscular and skeletal systems, but you don’t have to do it to lose weight.
Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
Let me take a crack at it. We need to exercise because, in order to achieve a maximum level of health and fitness, we have to move our bodies.
Did you just nod off?
Well, I did and I was actually the one doing the talking. Look, what I just said is the truth—in order to stay healthy, we have to exercise. But here’s another, bigger truth: you probably don’t care. I could write chapter after chapter explaining how exercise strengthens your heart and can help improve your longevity but, let’s be honest, at the end of the day what most people care about is how they look.
We care about this so much, in fact, we’ll pursue sex appeal even at the expense of our health. Case in point, men and women actually inject poison into their faces to get rid of wrinkles. We have no idea what the long-term effects of Botox are, but people do it anyway because they want to look great. I don’t think Botox makes you attractive, by the way, unless you think looking perpetually startled is sexy.
Even though most people care more about their looks than about their health, I have some good news for you—exercise gives you both. It’s a two-fer. Like I tell my clients:
If I can get you healthy by appealing to your vanity, I’m not above it .
So how does exercise improve your looks if you don’t really need to do it to drop weight? Let me ask you a question. What’s the best-looking version of you? Is it the skinniest version?
Magazine ads want you to think so.
How many times do we have to see what I call “the supermodel race” to see which sticks out farther, their cheek or hip bones? If you saw these women on the street, you’d think they were heroin addicts. When did we start using the aliens at the end of Close Encounters as the model for beauty? You know who thinks these emaciated women are sexy?
No one.
At least no one sane. If you’re a woman and you finally made it to a size 0 but you have a saggy butt and loose skin on your arms due to muscle loss, is that what you were looking for? A body that looks like Willem Dafoe’s face? If you’re a guy and you hop on a scale and you’re the lightest you’ve ever been in your adult life, but you just lost an arm wrestling match to a toddler, is that what you were looking for?
It’s true that diet will help you lose weight, but losing weight is only one side of the coin. The other side—just as important—is putting on lean muscle mass. That’s what turns Olive Oyl into Shakira and Shaggy into Channing Tatum, but you can’t get there through diet alone. So let’s talk exercise. How much do you need to do per week to see results?
Well, let’s look at our options.
If we follow Tim Ferriss’s plan in The Four Hour Body , we only have to invest four hours a month in the gym to get the body we want. That’s pretty good! That’s only one hour a week, or just over seven minutes a day. I’ll take it!
But wait! Why settle for spending all that time in the gym when we could follow Jennifer Jolan’s advice in 5-Second Flat Belly Secret . My God, Jennifer is telling us that we can have a flat belly by working at it just five seconds at a time. That’s way shorter than seven minutes!
Tim, you suck!
Not only that, but Jennifer promises we can get there without hard exercise and eating differently. We just have to use the palm of our hand to “literally ‘burn’ fat cells away.” I’ve used the palm of my hand for many things, but never that!
Holy shit, let’s do it!
By the way, her book sells on Amazon for $2.99. I’ll make you a deal. Give me two dollars and I’ll save you a buck by telling you not to buy it.
Here’s the truth, and like most things that are true, you probably already knew
Why do you want to exercise ?
Remember, aerobic exercise is great for your cardiovascular system, not to mention your muscular and skeletal systems, but you don’t have to do it to lose weight.
Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
Let me take a crack at it. We need to exercise because, in order to achieve a maximum level of health and fitness, we have to move our bodies.
Did you just nod off?
Well, I did and I was actually the one doing the talking. Look, what I just said is the truth—in order to stay healthy, we have to exercise. But here’s another, bigger truth: you probably don’t care. I could write chapter after chapter explaining how exercise strengthens your heart and can help improve your longevity but, let’s be honest, at the end of the day what most people care about is how they look.
We care about this so much, in fact, we’ll pursue sex appeal even at the expense of our health. Case in point, men and women actually inject poison into their faces to get rid of wrinkles. We have no idea what the long-term effects of Botox are, but people do it anyway because they want to look great. I don’t think Botox makes you attractive, by the way, unless you think looking perpetually startled is sexy.
Even though most people care more about their looks than about their health, I have some good news for you—exercise gives you both. It’s a two-fer. Like I tell my clients:
If I can get you healthy by appealing to your vanity, I’m not above it .
So how does exercise improve your looks if you don’t really need to do it to drop weight? Let me ask you a question. What’s the best-looking version of you? Is it the skinniest version?
Magazine ads want you to think so.
How many times do we have to see what I call “the supermodel race” to see which sticks out farther, their cheek or hip bones? If you saw these women on the street, you’d think they were heroin addicts. When did we start using the aliens at the end of Close Encounters as the model for beauty? You know who thinks these emaciated women are sexy?
No one.
At least no one sane. If you’re a woman and you finally made it to a size 0 but you have a saggy butt and loose skin on your arms due to muscle loss, is that what you were looking for? A body that looks like Willem Dafoe’s face? If you’re a guy and you hop on a scale and you’re the lightest you’ve ever been in your adult life, but you just lost an arm wrestling match to a toddler, is that what you were looking for?
It’s true that diet will help you lose weight, but losing weight is only one side of the coin. The other side—just as important—is putting on lean muscle mass. That’s what turns Olive Oyl into Shakira and Shaggy into Channing Tatum, but you can’t get there through diet alone. So let’s talk exercise. How much do you need to do per week to see results?
Well, let’s look at our options.
If we follow Tim Ferriss’s plan in The Four Hour Body , we only have to invest four hours a month in the gym to get the body we want. That’s pretty good! That’s only one hour a week, or just over seven minutes a day. I’ll take it!
But wait! Why settle for spending all that time in the gym when we could follow Jennifer Jolan’s advice in 5-Second Flat Belly Secret . My God, Jennifer is telling us that we can have a flat belly by working at it just five seconds at a time. That’s way shorter than seven minutes!
Tim, you suck!
Not only that, but Jennifer promises we can get there without hard exercise and eating differently. We just have to use the palm of our hand to “literally ‘burn’ fat cells away.” I’ve used the palm of my hand for many things, but never that!
Holy shit, let’s do it!
By the way, her book sells on Amazon for $2.99. I’ll make you a deal. Give me two dollars and I’ll save you a buck by telling you not to buy it.
Here’s the truth, and like most things that are true, you probably already knew
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