that type
of girl. She noticed I was watching and stood, the Tuatha Dé man clinging to her and
finishing up even while she stood there. It was like watching a dog hump a person's leg while the
person stood ultimately still. It was kinda funny. I couldn't help giggling.
"Don't care," Cu was saying. "She's coming with us."
Crista gave a smile and lifted the man off of her. He immediately went about humping
her leg but she shook it to disengage him. The Tuatha Dé man went flying but quickly
found himself another partner. "So I can go?" Crista said, once again righting her under things
and pulling her robe back around her.
"Yes," drooled my guide. "Yes yes yes!"
"Cool," Crista said. "Just let me get my things." She quickly ducked into a doorway and
came back moments later with a duffle bag in her hand that proclaimed she was a member of
Gryffindor House. "It was free," she said when she saw me eyeing the duffle. "Can't pass up
free."
"I didn't ask," I said. I turned to Cu who was still drooling, even though there was a
significant puddle at his feet. "This is Cu," I told her, making an introductory gesture. "Cu, this is
Crista Himmelmen."
"Crista Himmelmen," Cu said, in gurgling Homer Simpson fashion.
Crista ignored him long enough to put on some shoes that looked more like slippers, and
then we were off again, now a group of three. It took a while to find the place where Amergin
was last seen because Cu kept stopping to watch certain sexual activities and I occasionally had
to drag Crista around by the belt of her robe, but eventually we found the inn.
It was called The Inn and the owner/proprietor/pimp was a little dude named Nemain
who sat us down and gave us pints of beer. He did this because Cu insisted that we ignore the
water. Everyone else in the place was downing gallons of it and getting off any way they
could.
"See," Crista said. "Told you it was the water."
I only smirked as I watched some Tuatha Dé getting it on with the leg of a piano,
which was mildly protesting in notes that oddly enough produced the tune of Barry Manilow's
"Mandy."
Nemain sat across from the three of us and said, "So, you're looking for Amergin?"
"How come you aren't sexually engaged?" I said.
"No drinking on the job," he said.
"Oh," was my answer to that.
"Amergin?" Nemain repeated.
"Oh, yeah," I said. "When was he last here?"
"About a month ago," Nemain answered. "You just missed him. You friends of
his?"
"No," Cu said. "We're looking to kill him."
"Oh. Good. I was wondering when someone would go and do that." Then he muttered,
"Stupid bastard."
"Him or me?" Cu demanded.
"Amergin, of course," Nemain said.
"Good," Cu said, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. "Any idea where he
was going?"
"Yeah," Nemain said. "Probably back to Black Mountain."
"Black Mountain?" I repeated ominously.
"Yeah," Nemain said quietly, echoing my ominous tone. "Black Mountain."
"It has an English name?" I said.
"Yeah," Nemain said, still speaking ominously.
"Okay."
"Yeah," Nemain said, still being ominous.
"Stop that!" Cu belted. He drank down a big gulp of his pint.
I suddenly realized that I now had beer in front of me and down my entire glass in one
gulp.
"Damn, Fractious," Cu said, "slow the fuck down. I don't need you drunk."
"But I need to be drunk," I slurred. "More beer!"
Nemain gestured to a wench who brought me another pint. I paid for it with the wicket I
had in my pocket and, to my surprise, the wench brought me a second pint. I blinked at Nemain
in surprise.
"You wanted change you shoulda asked for it," Nemain said. "We don't give change
unless you ask."
"No change!" I yelled, downing my second pint. "More beer!"
Cu ignored my desires and said, "So what makes you think Amergin went to Black
Mountain?"
"A little bird told me," Nemain said.
"Seriously?" Cu said seriously.
"Seriously!" Nemain echoed. "I have this bird, see. I had him follow Amergin home just
in case some people eventually came to
of girl. She noticed I was watching and stood, the Tuatha Dé man clinging to her and
finishing up even while she stood there. It was like watching a dog hump a person's leg while the
person stood ultimately still. It was kinda funny. I couldn't help giggling.
"Don't care," Cu was saying. "She's coming with us."
Crista gave a smile and lifted the man off of her. He immediately went about humping
her leg but she shook it to disengage him. The Tuatha Dé man went flying but quickly
found himself another partner. "So I can go?" Crista said, once again righting her under things
and pulling her robe back around her.
"Yes," drooled my guide. "Yes yes yes!"
"Cool," Crista said. "Just let me get my things." She quickly ducked into a doorway and
came back moments later with a duffle bag in her hand that proclaimed she was a member of
Gryffindor House. "It was free," she said when she saw me eyeing the duffle. "Can't pass up
free."
"I didn't ask," I said. I turned to Cu who was still drooling, even though there was a
significant puddle at his feet. "This is Cu," I told her, making an introductory gesture. "Cu, this is
Crista Himmelmen."
"Crista Himmelmen," Cu said, in gurgling Homer Simpson fashion.
Crista ignored him long enough to put on some shoes that looked more like slippers, and
then we were off again, now a group of three. It took a while to find the place where Amergin
was last seen because Cu kept stopping to watch certain sexual activities and I occasionally had
to drag Crista around by the belt of her robe, but eventually we found the inn.
It was called The Inn and the owner/proprietor/pimp was a little dude named Nemain
who sat us down and gave us pints of beer. He did this because Cu insisted that we ignore the
water. Everyone else in the place was downing gallons of it and getting off any way they
could.
"See," Crista said. "Told you it was the water."
I only smirked as I watched some Tuatha Dé getting it on with the leg of a piano,
which was mildly protesting in notes that oddly enough produced the tune of Barry Manilow's
"Mandy."
Nemain sat across from the three of us and said, "So, you're looking for Amergin?"
"How come you aren't sexually engaged?" I said.
"No drinking on the job," he said.
"Oh," was my answer to that.
"Amergin?" Nemain repeated.
"Oh, yeah," I said. "When was he last here?"
"About a month ago," Nemain answered. "You just missed him. You friends of
his?"
"No," Cu said. "We're looking to kill him."
"Oh. Good. I was wondering when someone would go and do that." Then he muttered,
"Stupid bastard."
"Him or me?" Cu demanded.
"Amergin, of course," Nemain said.
"Good," Cu said, leaning back and crossing his arms over his chest. "Any idea where he
was going?"
"Yeah," Nemain said. "Probably back to Black Mountain."
"Black Mountain?" I repeated ominously.
"Yeah," Nemain said quietly, echoing my ominous tone. "Black Mountain."
"It has an English name?" I said.
"Yeah," Nemain said, still speaking ominously.
"Okay."
"Yeah," Nemain said, still being ominous.
"Stop that!" Cu belted. He drank down a big gulp of his pint.
I suddenly realized that I now had beer in front of me and down my entire glass in one
gulp.
"Damn, Fractious," Cu said, "slow the fuck down. I don't need you drunk."
"But I need to be drunk," I slurred. "More beer!"
Nemain gestured to a wench who brought me another pint. I paid for it with the wicket I
had in my pocket and, to my surprise, the wench brought me a second pint. I blinked at Nemain
in surprise.
"You wanted change you shoulda asked for it," Nemain said. "We don't give change
unless you ask."
"No change!" I yelled, downing my second pint. "More beer!"
Cu ignored my desires and said, "So what makes you think Amergin went to Black
Mountain?"
"A little bird told me," Nemain said.
"Seriously?" Cu said seriously.
"Seriously!" Nemain echoed. "I have this bird, see. I had him follow Amergin home just
in case some people eventually came to
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