I’m going. This is a bad mistake. End of story.”
“Stay. I’ll make you something to eat. We’ll talk.” Ian threw off his sheets and got out of bed. He saw Cole’s gaze move over his naked body.
“How can you stand here and listen to me and sound so… reasonable?” Cole asked. “I’m basically telling you it didn’t mean a damn thing. You don’t mean a thing. And I regret this.”
“Because I’m an adult, not a moody teenager, and I know we can work out whatever is bothering you if you talk with me. And because I know you’re lying. You don’t regret this.” Ian lowered his voice. “You wanted it as much as I did.”
“You’re nuts.” Cole’s voice dipped down too. “I had no idea you were this crazy underneath that buttoned-up exterior. If I had known….”
“What?”
Cole closed his eyes briefly. “Nothing. Stop being nice. Why are you being nice?”
Because I know you’re in pain.
“Are you even listening to me? I’m telling you nothing else will happen between us. I don’t need to talk. I’m leaving.”
“Okay.”
Cole stared, his gray eyes filled with sadness and determination. “Good. I’m glad you’re hearing me now. Just understand that I am going on to the next guy. It’s not personal. It’s the way I am. I’m not doing this to hurt you.”
Ian’s mouth curved. “Thank you for that.”
“You’re welcome.” As Ian took a step toward him, Cole quickly took a step back. He moved at record pace into his clothes. “I wish you’d stayed asleep.”
“Sorry.”
For a second, Cole looked at him, and Ian could read regret all over his face. “I’ve got to go.” He shrugged into the rest of his clothes, biting his lip. “And don’t contact me. If you’re waiting for me to come back here again, sniffing around you for more of this—” He gestured wildly to the bed “—it will be a long fucking wait for you.”
Ian was silent a moment, absorbing this, and then he went right up to Cole, until their faces nearly touched. “We’ll see,” he said. He grabbed Cole’s cheeks and planted a quick kiss on his lips.
“ Ian .” Cole’s voice rose. “I can’t. Okay? It’s not fair.”
“To whom?” Ian was truly baffled by that, although he saw nothing but raw honesty on Cole’s face. Cole believed staying with Ian would be wrong, somehow.
“Is it that you don’t want to be happy right now? Is that’s what not fair?”
Cole wouldn’t answer.
“I’m a lawyer,” Ian drawled. “We don’t believe in fairness. Only justice.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?”
Ian looked at him intently, drinking him in with his eyes. “No.”
I AN POURED himself a stiff drink, Grey Goose with a twist of lemon. He’d wanted to pin Cole down, wrangle answers out of him, but the devastation on Cole’s face made any challenging words lodge in Ian’s throat. Cole had fled with his demons at his heels.
“What the hell….” Ian downed the drink in one gulp, letting it warm him. Nothing since Brendan’s accident was making sense. He looked around his empty house, always way too big for him, but he’d bought it at a steal.
Ian drummed his fingers on his chair a moment and then picked up his phone to FaceTime Sam. Even though he and Sam had separated a while ago, they’d remained friends, and Ian didn’t have too many of those. It helped to smooth the animosity when Sam had moved back to his home state of Michigan and fallen in love, getting over Ian much faster than Ian imagined. Up until Sam left, Ian thought their relationship had worked. It had been comfortable. They were affectionate with each other in weekly increments, shared a similar humor and interest in sports, although Ian loved basketball and Sam loved golf. They were both lawyers. They’d liked the same Chinese takeout place. Both of them were tidy and organized at home. In fact, they’d barely fought, right up until the end, and even then it had remained civil. Sam had explained
“Stay. I’ll make you something to eat. We’ll talk.” Ian threw off his sheets and got out of bed. He saw Cole’s gaze move over his naked body.
“How can you stand here and listen to me and sound so… reasonable?” Cole asked. “I’m basically telling you it didn’t mean a damn thing. You don’t mean a thing. And I regret this.”
“Because I’m an adult, not a moody teenager, and I know we can work out whatever is bothering you if you talk with me. And because I know you’re lying. You don’t regret this.” Ian lowered his voice. “You wanted it as much as I did.”
“You’re nuts.” Cole’s voice dipped down too. “I had no idea you were this crazy underneath that buttoned-up exterior. If I had known….”
“What?”
Cole closed his eyes briefly. “Nothing. Stop being nice. Why are you being nice?”
Because I know you’re in pain.
“Are you even listening to me? I’m telling you nothing else will happen between us. I don’t need to talk. I’m leaving.”
“Okay.”
Cole stared, his gray eyes filled with sadness and determination. “Good. I’m glad you’re hearing me now. Just understand that I am going on to the next guy. It’s not personal. It’s the way I am. I’m not doing this to hurt you.”
Ian’s mouth curved. “Thank you for that.”
“You’re welcome.” As Ian took a step toward him, Cole quickly took a step back. He moved at record pace into his clothes. “I wish you’d stayed asleep.”
“Sorry.”
For a second, Cole looked at him, and Ian could read regret all over his face. “I’ve got to go.” He shrugged into the rest of his clothes, biting his lip. “And don’t contact me. If you’re waiting for me to come back here again, sniffing around you for more of this—” He gestured wildly to the bed “—it will be a long fucking wait for you.”
Ian was silent a moment, absorbing this, and then he went right up to Cole, until their faces nearly touched. “We’ll see,” he said. He grabbed Cole’s cheeks and planted a quick kiss on his lips.
“ Ian .” Cole’s voice rose. “I can’t. Okay? It’s not fair.”
“To whom?” Ian was truly baffled by that, although he saw nothing but raw honesty on Cole’s face. Cole believed staying with Ian would be wrong, somehow.
“Is it that you don’t want to be happy right now? Is that’s what not fair?”
Cole wouldn’t answer.
“I’m a lawyer,” Ian drawled. “We don’t believe in fairness. Only justice.”
“Isn’t that the same thing?”
Ian looked at him intently, drinking him in with his eyes. “No.”
I AN POURED himself a stiff drink, Grey Goose with a twist of lemon. He’d wanted to pin Cole down, wrangle answers out of him, but the devastation on Cole’s face made any challenging words lodge in Ian’s throat. Cole had fled with his demons at his heels.
“What the hell….” Ian downed the drink in one gulp, letting it warm him. Nothing since Brendan’s accident was making sense. He looked around his empty house, always way too big for him, but he’d bought it at a steal.
Ian drummed his fingers on his chair a moment and then picked up his phone to FaceTime Sam. Even though he and Sam had separated a while ago, they’d remained friends, and Ian didn’t have too many of those. It helped to smooth the animosity when Sam had moved back to his home state of Michigan and fallen in love, getting over Ian much faster than Ian imagined. Up until Sam left, Ian thought their relationship had worked. It had been comfortable. They were affectionate with each other in weekly increments, shared a similar humor and interest in sports, although Ian loved basketball and Sam loved golf. They were both lawyers. They’d liked the same Chinese takeout place. Both of them were tidy and organized at home. In fact, they’d barely fought, right up until the end, and even then it had remained civil. Sam had explained
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