board, many in tears as they left behind loved ones. Roseâs eyes were dry; she was too terrified to cry. Sheâd sent a telegram minutes before theyâd boarded: I am safe STOP Cannot marry Weston STOP Will wire when destination reached STOP.
She wondered how long it would take for her parents to receive the telegram and whether they were already in a panic looking for her. She hadnât left a note, hadnât wanted anyone to know she was gone. No doubt her maid had been the first to realize something was amiss. Sarah had probably been curious, wondering if Rose had gotten up early to go to the stables. Rose had done that on numerous occasions. Did they even know she was gone yet? Or was everyone making assumptions? Theyâd know soon enough.
Her mother would be devastated, her father livid. And the duke, oh God, it didnât bear thinking. What would a man like Weston do after being humiliated so? She wanted to be glad of her escape, but at that moment, watching as the crew prepared to pull back the bridge onto the dock, she couldnât even revel in that thought.
Rose looked down into the dark, swirling waters of the Mersey, idly wondering if she would survive a jump. When the bell rang, a delicate sound above the murmur of the passengers, the engine came to life, a great deep rumble like some animal stretching and awakening, vibrating beneath her feet. And then the ship began to move and real panic set in and her breathing became shallow. Charlie stood next to her, a calming presence, and once in a while heâd look over, no doubt worried that she was about to do something rashâor more rash than running away. Oh, Lord, this was a horrible mistake.
âWe should probably go to our cabin,â Charlie said after a time.
She turned to look at him, and she knew her panic was clear in her eyes. âOh, Charlie, what have I done?â
If she had asked that question thirty minutes ago, he would have likely replied, âNothing that canât be undone.â But now, with the sun setting behind Liverpool and the ship pulling away from port, gaining speedâit was already too far away to safely swim to shoreâthere was no reversing her decision. âYouâve saved yourself,â he said.
Bless him for saying that. His words, spoken so matter-of-factly, calmed her as nothing else could. She was saving herself. Yes, she was leaving behind a terrible mess, and she doubted her mother and father would ever forgive her, but it was worth it to not have to marry Weston. She had to keep telling herself that. Rose took a bracing breath. âLetâs go see our cabin, shall we?â
The mood of the other passengers was solemn and Rose sympathized. They were more like her than she realized, all leaving home, all likely believing they might never see their loved ones back home again. A young couple who stood in front of them while they waited to be directed to their cabin seemed especially sad. The woman leaned heavily upon her husband as she wept.
âItâll be all right, Charlotte, youâll see. Weâll come back when we can,â her young husband said, but his words only caused the woman to cry in earnest. The man looked back at her and Charlie, giving them an embarrassed smile. âSheâs got four sisters back in York, you see.â
âI have four brothers,â Rose said, feeling her throat close up. She swallowed and pushed down the sadness; it would never do to put on such an emotional display in public. If she cried, which she prayed she would not, she hoped to do so in complete privacy. Already sheâd made a cake of herself in front of Charlie and sheâd vowed that would not happen again.
The young woman turned, her eyes red and watery, her nose pink. She looked the picture of misery.
âI do apologize for making such a scene. I didnât even think to cry until the engines started and then I couldnât stop,â she said,
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