barely see their faces. Just like alcoholics, I thought. They had to have something in their mouths and if it wasn’t people’s necks it was cigarettes. I started coughing so hard that Sheldon had to lead me to a chair.
“ Smoke this.” Sheldon handed me a cigarette and told me to smoke it to mask my human odor. Otherwise the scent of my blood might cause some unwanted attention.
“ I hate cigarettes, they make me sick.” I protested weakly, still coughing. .
“ You’ll be even sicker if some of these bloodaholics get a whiff of you. Just puff, you don’t have to inhale.”
The group leader got up and introduced himself. “Hi, my name is Jerome and I’m a bloodaholic.”
The group all said in unison, “Hi, Jerome.”
He continued. “Tonight we’re working step nine, making amends to those we have injured through our behavior. My sponsor said that could be a letter, a phone call or ‘popping around’ to see them. Most of my amends were made at a personal level. Now that I sponsor vampires myself, I tell them not to confess to loved ones about those we’ve killed as that could really hurt them or put them in a bad position. Why confess to something that could get you put in jail! You can do more good passing on the twelve steps, than being stuck behind prison bars. In short, say you’re sorry when and if you can. If you can’t go to someone just become willing. A change of attitude, a change of heart, that is what it is about!” Jerome sat down.
Then a pretty blonde stood up and announced, “My name is Tiffany and I’m a bloodaholic.” She then went on to describe some of her more reprehensible behavior. “Last week I lost control, left home and wandered the streets looking for a victim. I found a poor homeless man who was sleeping in front of Bloomingdales at 3 am. He fought me off but of course I was too powerful. He smelled really nasty, but tasted so delicious I almost killed him. Thank God I stopped myself.”
A tall very skinny man dressed in jeans and a sweater stood up and declared, “My name is Terrence and I’m a bloodaholic. I try and try to stick to animal blood but the stuff just tastes horrible. Plus I’m in PETA and feel worse about killing animals than I do about killing people. Actually I think it’s more ethical to kill people—poor little animals can’t defend themselves. I try to kill rats but you know how intelligent they are and when they twitch their whiskers and give me that “please don’t hurt me,” look, half the time I release them. But I have to eat something so I raid blood banks, which I know is terribly wrong. Sick people need that blood, but so do I. I’m sick too if I don’t eat. So what should I do, tell me that? I have to survive.”
“ He’s got a terrible dilemma,” Sheldon whispered to me. “You can’t be an animal rights activist and an abstinent vampire without getting in a lot of trouble.”
Just like in AA, no one responded. No cross talk was allowed, which was probably a good policy because what could anyone have said to this guy?
I watched as vampire after vampire stood up and confessed their irresistible lust for blood. Many of them fell off the “wagon” and stalked muggers and other criminals for their fix. Others weren’t so ethical.
“ My name is Veronica and I’m a bloodaholic.” Veronica was a stunner. Tall, with long brown hair and a curvaceous figure, she resembled Ava Gardner in Night of the Iguana. “It’s just too easy for me. Men pursue me, will do anything to be with me. They literally throw themselves at my feet. I’m a weak person, I’ve always been weak. That’s how I wound up a vampire in the first place. I loved the bad boys, I was bored with the preppy types who went for me, I lusted for danger and I got it. One day a vampire came on to me. Let me tell you he was irresistible—looked just like Robert Pattinson. I couldn’t say no, so here I am. I let him suck on me for weeks and vice versa until
“ Smoke this.” Sheldon handed me a cigarette and told me to smoke it to mask my human odor. Otherwise the scent of my blood might cause some unwanted attention.
“ I hate cigarettes, they make me sick.” I protested weakly, still coughing. .
“ You’ll be even sicker if some of these bloodaholics get a whiff of you. Just puff, you don’t have to inhale.”
The group leader got up and introduced himself. “Hi, my name is Jerome and I’m a bloodaholic.”
The group all said in unison, “Hi, Jerome.”
He continued. “Tonight we’re working step nine, making amends to those we have injured through our behavior. My sponsor said that could be a letter, a phone call or ‘popping around’ to see them. Most of my amends were made at a personal level. Now that I sponsor vampires myself, I tell them not to confess to loved ones about those we’ve killed as that could really hurt them or put them in a bad position. Why confess to something that could get you put in jail! You can do more good passing on the twelve steps, than being stuck behind prison bars. In short, say you’re sorry when and if you can. If you can’t go to someone just become willing. A change of attitude, a change of heart, that is what it is about!” Jerome sat down.
Then a pretty blonde stood up and announced, “My name is Tiffany and I’m a bloodaholic.” She then went on to describe some of her more reprehensible behavior. “Last week I lost control, left home and wandered the streets looking for a victim. I found a poor homeless man who was sleeping in front of Bloomingdales at 3 am. He fought me off but of course I was too powerful. He smelled really nasty, but tasted so delicious I almost killed him. Thank God I stopped myself.”
A tall very skinny man dressed in jeans and a sweater stood up and declared, “My name is Terrence and I’m a bloodaholic. I try and try to stick to animal blood but the stuff just tastes horrible. Plus I’m in PETA and feel worse about killing animals than I do about killing people. Actually I think it’s more ethical to kill people—poor little animals can’t defend themselves. I try to kill rats but you know how intelligent they are and when they twitch their whiskers and give me that “please don’t hurt me,” look, half the time I release them. But I have to eat something so I raid blood banks, which I know is terribly wrong. Sick people need that blood, but so do I. I’m sick too if I don’t eat. So what should I do, tell me that? I have to survive.”
“ He’s got a terrible dilemma,” Sheldon whispered to me. “You can’t be an animal rights activist and an abstinent vampire without getting in a lot of trouble.”
Just like in AA, no one responded. No cross talk was allowed, which was probably a good policy because what could anyone have said to this guy?
I watched as vampire after vampire stood up and confessed their irresistible lust for blood. Many of them fell off the “wagon” and stalked muggers and other criminals for their fix. Others weren’t so ethical.
“ My name is Veronica and I’m a bloodaholic.” Veronica was a stunner. Tall, with long brown hair and a curvaceous figure, she resembled Ava Gardner in Night of the Iguana. “It’s just too easy for me. Men pursue me, will do anything to be with me. They literally throw themselves at my feet. I’m a weak person, I’ve always been weak. That’s how I wound up a vampire in the first place. I loved the bad boys, I was bored with the preppy types who went for me, I lusted for danger and I got it. One day a vampire came on to me. Let me tell you he was irresistible—looked just like Robert Pattinson. I couldn’t say no, so here I am. I let him suck on me for weeks and vice versa until
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