locked the door.
“Why did you lock the door? Are you open for business or not?”
“I have no idea.”
“But your sign says ‘Open’?”
“Sign?”
I pointed. Fen looked to the door, then, spun the sign around with Ninja-like precision. She leaned against the counter, shaking her head. “I got so overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to do. And I still haven’t heard from Tina.”
“What did the police say?”
“They’re looking into it. They want to access her place, to look around.”
“Well, that makes sense.”
She nodded. “I know. They’ll probably want to question all of Tina’s friends, so they might contact you, too.”
Thoughts of being another front for Vito’s new stash in my basement paraded through my mind. This could become a little more interesting than anyone wanted.
“I’m sure she’ll turn up soon.”
“I hope so. I’m not good at this business on my own.”
Truer words were never spoken. “Maybe she’s visiting a friend?”
“Probably. But she would never leave the business without instructions for me. She’s so organized - even her lists have lists. She could have at least called.”
“I probably just over-reacted yesterday. Hey, maybe she ran off with a boyfriend. Ha, ha.”
Fen nodded. “The police said they’d be questioning all of them.”
“What?”
She giggled, then whispered, “She’s a cougar.”
I blinked. After Mrs. Phang’s initial rabid treatment of me, as well as most everyone else on the planet, it was absurd to think of her interacting with anyone sans snarling and bearing of teeth. Even though she’d started paling around with Auntie, she didn’t really strike me as the flirty type, much less a cougar. Yikes. “I hope you don’t mind my asking, while all this is going on…but, errm… you wouldn’t happen to have my vest ready, would you?”
“You have ticket?”
I produced the crumpled ticket from my wallet, and waited several lifetimes while Fen fumbled among the hanging conveyor racks behind the counter.
She finally emerged. “Here it is!”
Well, it looked like a vest. And she hadn’t shrunk it. Unfortunately, instead of being a solid red, it now sported a bright orange patch on the right pocket.
“What happened?”
Fen sighed. “Look, it’s clean, right? You have any idea how hard it is to get food and gunk out of felt?”
She had a point. Of sorts. I re-examined the vest and suddenly fell into abject panic. “What did you do with all of my Sparkle?!”
“Sparkle?”
“The buttons! The store discount buttons! They won’t let me work my shift without them!”
She tsked. “I took them off, of course. Couldn’t clean your vest with all that bling on it, right? Here.” Fen handed me a Ziplok bag containing several hundred campaign-like buttons.
“Oh, sorry. Thanks.”
“That’ll be $10.50.”
I grimaced and dug for my wallet. “You know, I’m glad you were able to get this done before… you weren’t able to get this done. But there is a very large orange spot on the front pocket now, where there wasn’t one before.”
Fen threw her hands up in the air. “What is this, some kind of uniform?”
I must truly need a wardrobe consultant. Did she really think I dressed this way? “Well, actually, yes.” I filled her in about being Santa’s Sidekick.
Fen shook her head. “I had no idea. I guess they’ll make you return it, after the holidays? Do you think they’ll fine you for the spot?”
“Actually, they made me buy the vest outright, before I began the job.”
“What? That’s terrible.”
“I’ll say.”
“Yeah. That’s one ugly vest.”
I nodded.
“Here take it. No charge.”
“Are you sure?”
She shrugged. “I really wasn’t sure what to charge you, anyway. I can’t make sense out of Tina’s payment matrix. Polyester shirt or silk shirt. Wool trousers or chinos. Sweater coat or pullover – not a goddam thing about felt.”
“That’s a problem.”
“No
“Why did you lock the door? Are you open for business or not?”
“I have no idea.”
“But your sign says ‘Open’?”
“Sign?”
I pointed. Fen looked to the door, then, spun the sign around with Ninja-like precision. She leaned against the counter, shaking her head. “I got so overwhelmed. I didn’t know what to do. And I still haven’t heard from Tina.”
“What did the police say?”
“They’re looking into it. They want to access her place, to look around.”
“Well, that makes sense.”
She nodded. “I know. They’ll probably want to question all of Tina’s friends, so they might contact you, too.”
Thoughts of being another front for Vito’s new stash in my basement paraded through my mind. This could become a little more interesting than anyone wanted.
“I’m sure she’ll turn up soon.”
“I hope so. I’m not good at this business on my own.”
Truer words were never spoken. “Maybe she’s visiting a friend?”
“Probably. But she would never leave the business without instructions for me. She’s so organized - even her lists have lists. She could have at least called.”
“I probably just over-reacted yesterday. Hey, maybe she ran off with a boyfriend. Ha, ha.”
Fen nodded. “The police said they’d be questioning all of them.”
“What?”
She giggled, then whispered, “She’s a cougar.”
I blinked. After Mrs. Phang’s initial rabid treatment of me, as well as most everyone else on the planet, it was absurd to think of her interacting with anyone sans snarling and bearing of teeth. Even though she’d started paling around with Auntie, she didn’t really strike me as the flirty type, much less a cougar. Yikes. “I hope you don’t mind my asking, while all this is going on…but, errm… you wouldn’t happen to have my vest ready, would you?”
“You have ticket?”
I produced the crumpled ticket from my wallet, and waited several lifetimes while Fen fumbled among the hanging conveyor racks behind the counter.
She finally emerged. “Here it is!”
Well, it looked like a vest. And she hadn’t shrunk it. Unfortunately, instead of being a solid red, it now sported a bright orange patch on the right pocket.
“What happened?”
Fen sighed. “Look, it’s clean, right? You have any idea how hard it is to get food and gunk out of felt?”
She had a point. Of sorts. I re-examined the vest and suddenly fell into abject panic. “What did you do with all of my Sparkle?!”
“Sparkle?”
“The buttons! The store discount buttons! They won’t let me work my shift without them!”
She tsked. “I took them off, of course. Couldn’t clean your vest with all that bling on it, right? Here.” Fen handed me a Ziplok bag containing several hundred campaign-like buttons.
“Oh, sorry. Thanks.”
“That’ll be $10.50.”
I grimaced and dug for my wallet. “You know, I’m glad you were able to get this done before… you weren’t able to get this done. But there is a very large orange spot on the front pocket now, where there wasn’t one before.”
Fen threw her hands up in the air. “What is this, some kind of uniform?”
I must truly need a wardrobe consultant. Did she really think I dressed this way? “Well, actually, yes.” I filled her in about being Santa’s Sidekick.
Fen shook her head. “I had no idea. I guess they’ll make you return it, after the holidays? Do you think they’ll fine you for the spot?”
“Actually, they made me buy the vest outright, before I began the job.”
“What? That’s terrible.”
“I’ll say.”
“Yeah. That’s one ugly vest.”
I nodded.
“Here take it. No charge.”
“Are you sure?”
She shrugged. “I really wasn’t sure what to charge you, anyway. I can’t make sense out of Tina’s payment matrix. Polyester shirt or silk shirt. Wool trousers or chinos. Sweater coat or pullover – not a goddam thing about felt.”
“That’s a problem.”
“No
Similar Books
