was
important? And how did they know I had stolen the mirror?'
Morag made a small loop in the air before settling on Kerry's shoulder.
'Fairies can know lots of things by intuition,' she explained. 'I expect that after they chased me following the regrettable lobster incident, they sensed that I'd been in the shop where the mirror had been. Probably they've been looking for me ever since and when they spotted me they took the first opportunity to burgle your apartment.
'You were wearing your waistcoat today so they couldn't find the mirror, but they took something else. They
might have known the Welsh poppy was important to you due to cunning psychic insights. There again, it might
have been because you wrote a sign in red ink above it saying "This is my most prized possession." '
Morag volunteered to make the exchange.
'I am sure it will not be too risky. We fairies are reasonable creatures and I will simply explain the whole thing away as a misunderstanding. If that doesn't work, I'll claim you are a kleptomaniac currently undergoing
treatment.'
'That was the most unpleasant customer I've ever encountered,' said an assistant in the health food shop to her fellow worker. 'You'd think I was twisting his arm to buy a bag of mixed nuts.'
'What was it he accused you of?'
'I don't know. It was something about collaborating with fairies to poison the city.'
'What a weirdo. Did you notice his coat?'
They shuddered.
Dinnie tramped home. The slight satisfaction of having subjected the sales assistants to some good solid abuse had not made him any happier about the day's events.
He flung the nuts on a shelf and settled down for his afternoon nap.
file:///Users/lisa/Downloads/Martin%20Millar%20-%20The%20Good%20Fairies%20of%20New%20York.html
Page 38 of 99
Martin Millar - The Good Fairies of New York.html
6/5/11 2:11 PM
Morag hovered over Canal Street, slightly uncomfortable at the prospect of facing an entire Chinese fairy clan, but confident that things would work out well enough and she would be able to return with Kerry's dried flower. It was desperately important to Morag that Kerry won the Community Arts Prize because this would make her immensely
happy, and Morag had read in a medical directory in a bookshop on Second Avenue that being happy was very
important to Crohn's disease sufferers. An unhappy Kerry was likely to be a sick Kerry, and a sick Kerry was
likely to get more of her insides removed by a surgeon.
Heather, meanwhile, was travelling the short distance to Chinatown to find some Chinese cabbage leaves.
'This is extremely good of me,' she thought, idly combing her long hair as a delivery truck took her down
Broadway to Canal Street. 'I could get him any old cabbage leaves. He'd never know the difference. But the recipe said Chinese, and I am willing to expend effort for a fellow MacKintosh.'
She looked up into the dazzling blue sky, and started in surprise. Up above was Morag, surrounded by strange
yellow fairies. Heather was not particularly psychic as fairies go, but she easily sensed the hostility of the strangers towards Morag. As she watched, they seemed to be in the process of robbing her of a shining brooch.
Unsheathing her sword and her skian dhu, she flew up into the air.
'Unhand my friend,' she screamed, plunging into the floating host, slashing wildly.
Dinnie slumbered peacefully, undisturbed by the four Puerto Rican footballers on the street below kicking around their tennis ball.
'Raise the clans!' screamed Heather, to Dinnie's immense distress, as she thundered in the window, Morag in tow.
'We're being invaded by a host of yellow fairies!'
'What?'
'Get your sword out. They're attacking over the hills!'
'Will you stop shouting.'
'Barricade the doors!' screamed Heather. 'Sound the warpipes ! '
'Will you shut up, you imbecile!' demanded Dinnie. 'What's the idea of bursting in here shouting and screaming.
You know I need my afternoon sleep.'
'Never mind your sleep.
important? And how did they know I had stolen the mirror?'
Morag made a small loop in the air before settling on Kerry's shoulder.
'Fairies can know lots of things by intuition,' she explained. 'I expect that after they chased me following the regrettable lobster incident, they sensed that I'd been in the shop where the mirror had been. Probably they've been looking for me ever since and when they spotted me they took the first opportunity to burgle your apartment.
'You were wearing your waistcoat today so they couldn't find the mirror, but they took something else. They
might have known the Welsh poppy was important to you due to cunning psychic insights. There again, it might
have been because you wrote a sign in red ink above it saying "This is my most prized possession." '
Morag volunteered to make the exchange.
'I am sure it will not be too risky. We fairies are reasonable creatures and I will simply explain the whole thing away as a misunderstanding. If that doesn't work, I'll claim you are a kleptomaniac currently undergoing
treatment.'
'That was the most unpleasant customer I've ever encountered,' said an assistant in the health food shop to her fellow worker. 'You'd think I was twisting his arm to buy a bag of mixed nuts.'
'What was it he accused you of?'
'I don't know. It was something about collaborating with fairies to poison the city.'
'What a weirdo. Did you notice his coat?'
They shuddered.
Dinnie tramped home. The slight satisfaction of having subjected the sales assistants to some good solid abuse had not made him any happier about the day's events.
He flung the nuts on a shelf and settled down for his afternoon nap.
file:///Users/lisa/Downloads/Martin%20Millar%20-%20The%20Good%20Fairies%20of%20New%20York.html
Page 38 of 99
Martin Millar - The Good Fairies of New York.html
6/5/11 2:11 PM
Morag hovered over Canal Street, slightly uncomfortable at the prospect of facing an entire Chinese fairy clan, but confident that things would work out well enough and she would be able to return with Kerry's dried flower. It was desperately important to Morag that Kerry won the Community Arts Prize because this would make her immensely
happy, and Morag had read in a medical directory in a bookshop on Second Avenue that being happy was very
important to Crohn's disease sufferers. An unhappy Kerry was likely to be a sick Kerry, and a sick Kerry was
likely to get more of her insides removed by a surgeon.
Heather, meanwhile, was travelling the short distance to Chinatown to find some Chinese cabbage leaves.
'This is extremely good of me,' she thought, idly combing her long hair as a delivery truck took her down
Broadway to Canal Street. 'I could get him any old cabbage leaves. He'd never know the difference. But the recipe said Chinese, and I am willing to expend effort for a fellow MacKintosh.'
She looked up into the dazzling blue sky, and started in surprise. Up above was Morag, surrounded by strange
yellow fairies. Heather was not particularly psychic as fairies go, but she easily sensed the hostility of the strangers towards Morag. As she watched, they seemed to be in the process of robbing her of a shining brooch.
Unsheathing her sword and her skian dhu, she flew up into the air.
'Unhand my friend,' she screamed, plunging into the floating host, slashing wildly.
Dinnie slumbered peacefully, undisturbed by the four Puerto Rican footballers on the street below kicking around their tennis ball.
'Raise the clans!' screamed Heather, to Dinnie's immense distress, as she thundered in the window, Morag in tow.
'We're being invaded by a host of yellow fairies!'
'What?'
'Get your sword out. They're attacking over the hills!'
'Will you stop shouting.'
'Barricade the doors!' screamed Heather. 'Sound the warpipes ! '
'Will you shut up, you imbecile!' demanded Dinnie. 'What's the idea of bursting in here shouting and screaming.
You know I need my afternoon sleep.'
'Never mind your sleep.
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