Master/slave Relations: Handbook of Theory and Practice by Robert J. Rubel Page B

the Core Truth about an M/s Relationship
    As Master Jim Glass points out, a Master/slave relationship is
about CPR: Control plus Power produces Respect. As I've
commented previously, your slave is not your boyfriend or girlfriend. This is not a vanilla relationship. As Master, you must
master both the verbal and non-verbal techniques of exuding
personal power.

    But, how do you exude personal power if it does not come naturally to you? Where does the control come from? An Internet
search may be helpful, but here are some bulleted notes.
    Tips on developing command presence:
    • Give a good first impression - every day. You don't
want to look like an unmade bed.
    o Always wear clean, pressed clothing; dress professionally.
    o Is your car clean, inside and out?
    o If you work in an office, keep it extremely clean and
tidy.
    • Be conscious of your physical stance.
    o Legs apart, shoulder width.
    o Hands to sides, NOT in front or in back.
    o Be careful to be planted and not to rock or sway.
    o Don't lean on anything.
    • Attend to how you walk. How you carry yourself portrays command presence or lack of it. Confidence is
projected through your body language and how you
verbally deal with individuals and groups.
    o Walk with intent. Don't shuffle your feet or use a
"lazy" walk. Pick up your feet and move like you
know where you are going and that you have a
purpose in going there.
    o Walk with your head up, eyes alert, and your
expression intent. You do not want to appear
weak or vulnerable. You want to project the image
of someone who knows why they are where they
are, and who is trained and knows what they are
doing.
    o Portray an "I am in charge of this situation" image.
The key is to be outwardly confident - even if on
the inside you are scared out of your wits. You
want your body language to convey confidence.

    • Attend to how you speak.
    o Your speech is another aspect of command presence. More people than you think hear you speak.
    o Don't say too much - when you're silent, people
take it to mean you're "deep."
    o Don't say anything that you don't have to say
- knowledge is power don't give it away.
    o If you make a mistake, apologize and clean up your
own mess. You are responsible for ensuring that
your message is heard the way you intended.
    o Use a strong, well-modulated voice (practice being
forceful with yourself in a mirror - preferably
naked). (I knew a female police lieutenant who
said she taught herself voice control by forcefully
instructing a chair to remain just where it was. She
went on to be an instructor in command presence
at a police academy.)
    • If someone was watching you to see how you reacted
if they did something wrong, what would they think?
    o How do you sit, stand, and walk when at work?
    o Do you walk around with your hands in your pockets?
    o Do you look at the ground all the time?
    o Do you look bored and inattentive? Monitor yourself; practice being assertive without being domineering. Keeping your cool is also a big part of
this.
    Command presence boils down to how you present yourself. Do
you "look the part?" Do you carry yourself with confidence? Do
you ACT the part? Do you speak the part? If you can, then you
are developing Command Presence, which will make your job as
Master a LOT easier.

    Starting a New Relationship - a Period of Being
Crazy
    For many people, the first several months of a new relationship
are characterized by a wild emotional high. The new partner
is heaven-sent. The new partner is the most amazing surprise
you've ever had. The new partner does everything perfectly.
The new partner is so smart, talented, wise. The new partner,
the new partner, the new partner. Jay Wiseman tells me that
in polyamorous circles, this is known NRE - New Relationship
Energy.
    That's why most Seniors that you ask, will advise you to slow
down. Take it easy. Don't rush. Get to know the person as a
person. That's why training contracts are